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It's so tough working from home alone!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by PaulD2000, Oct 10, 2019.

  1. PaulD2000

    PaulD2000 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I find it extra tough as I work from home around four days a week. So here I am all alone in the privacy of my own home on the laptop...

    ARGHHHH!!!

    Its even just walking around the kitchen for example making a work call, I notice I have my hand down my pants playing with my tackle just because I can. It's not in a sexual way but just a habit.

    If I get bored or get a certain part of my work done I would typically go to the toilet and spending a bit of extra time there just playing and massaging for a bit. I try my best to avoid full M or O but it just feels so f*@king pleasurable and addictive.

    Help please!!!
     
    MB183715 likes this.
  2. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    Can you go somewhere public with your laptop?
    Be aware of when you’re touching. That’s the first step. Then make a rule of no touching except to pee or wash.
     
    randomname3 likes this.
  3. blotter

    blotter Fapstronaut

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    I think you laid out an effective strategy in the last sentence of your post. By categorizing your behaviors as both pleasurable and addictive you are getting somewhere.

    Ask yourself if compulsively acting on something that rises to the level of an addiction in your mind is actually pleasurable. Contemplate this in a free moment and see if you cant see this pleasure as addiction, not to separate them, and honestly see it as a form of suffering. That is the powerful step in breaking the chain links of this behavior.

    For boredom my suggestion is to take delight in it because that will allow you to see more clearly what is happening, what you might be avoiding or attracting in these moments that you are calling boredom. This is mostly unheard of in our culture, but to take delight in boredom is a wonderful lifetime practice.
     
    Ghost79 and budvap like this.
  4. PaulD2000

    PaulD2000 Fapstronaut

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    This is interesting, its just frustrating that it feels so nice to do and even when you are not doing it your idol mind starts to drift in the wrong direction. I might need to look into shared office space but its a cost I don't need. That money would be better off paying back loans!

    Thanks guys
     
  5. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Stage 1 is recognising that working from home is a danger for you.

    Done.

    Stage 2 is doing something about it, like reaching out for help on NoFap.

    Done.

    You've got this, you are doing all the right things. I'm home working today (and tomorrow) too. Let's both stay clean and focused on the things that make us proud.
     
  6. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    Working alone is my chief area of temptation. It’s a combination of opportunity, no accountability, procrastination, boredom, and loneliness. I did well when I first joined NF but lately old habits are returning. Instead of planning how I will PMO, I need to plan how I will stay clean.
     
  7. PaulD2000

    PaulD2000 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys,

    Its a pity that we have to view our whole sexuality / sexual being as a curse and burden. Its feels like a glitch or a design flaw in the makeup of men. I feel that it is as it drives me to behavior that I ultimately don't want and when I ejaculate I can see that so much more clearly.

    Are there men out there who are leading a happy unflawed sexually healthy and balanced existence and who sexual thoughts, desires and behaviour are balanced only lead to happiness?
     
  8. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    I believe there are. They either never started using porn or they grew out of it.
     
  9. MB183715

    MB183715 Fapstronaut

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    I work at home and can relate to this. I just found Nofap and am on day 1, feeling a bit out of sorts since spanking it was the first thing I did most mornings. I would love to just stay off the internet completely, but I need to use it for work, so the temptation is always there. All we can do is stay vigilant and charge onward...
     
  10. PaulD2000

    PaulD2000 Fapstronaut

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    I think I need to be more organised with everything. Here I am Monday morning, self employed and on my laptop. I can't clear my head to figure what I need to do today or this week. Now I feel I need to M so I can think straight. Its a vicious circle. I know I can be better than this.

    Do you think men behaved like this a few generations back? I know the simple answer is no as they didn't have access to laptops and porn but I wonder was there a poor sole like me 100 years ago jerking off because he felt under pressure and didn't know where to turn. Maybe life is just so much more complicated now and that leads to imbalance in a lot of aspects..
     
  11. budvap

    budvap Fapstronaut

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    Well, I am not 100+ years old mate ;) but I would say, yes definitely there were many. Reading literature gives enough picture about it. Alcohol, violence, street sex, unhealty marrieages, ... all that stuff. Evil takes various forms in various centuries, but it is always there ready for attacking us.

    But, in my eyes, we live in better times now. Yes, there is pornography on internet, but there is also the NoFap community. That's miracle, just think about it... We - and you including! - have the strengths to rise up against our addictions. Trying to make us better. We have psychologists these days, AA clubs, objective research, we can openly speak about our problems. That all helps tremendously.

    So I would not be depressed that I (or you) are any worse than the old men. I am actually happy for living in times where there is so much help available for me :) Just go and grab it!
     
  12. PaulD2000

    PaulD2000 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, this is a refreshing way to look at it!

    Thank you :)
     
  13. Try finding some porn blockers for your laptop. Work from public if possible.
     
  14. SPW69002

    SPW69002 Fapstronaut

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    I too work at home. generally alone, and am on the internet most of the day. If we can stay clean in this environment, we can do anything! I have started doing half-days in cafés and co-working spaces as well, which seems to make it a lot easier. When you know it's not even remotely an option, it seems the temptation doesn't even rear it's head. Stay strong - you're on the right path!
     
    kropo82 likes this.
  15. catnip

    catnip New Fapstronaut

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    Very much feel this!
     
  16. BreakingBenjamin

    BreakingBenjamin Fapstronaut

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    Do you really have to work from home? it`s not really good for porn addicts to be isolated..
     
  17. PaulD2000

    PaulD2000 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys, I might have to look into the shared office space thing. My situation works great when I am focused and productive, I don't even think about porn or jerking, but there is always some event which happens that make the whole ugly cycle start over again!
    Thanks for your help guys :)
     
  18. I work alone at my office too. Since 'day 1' I let all the curtains open and the lights on to avoid privacy. It helps.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 28, 2019
  19. ForTheLastTime

    ForTheLastTime New Fapstronaut

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    I'm with you fellows. Work from home. Am working hard to find places outside of the house that I can go, but they often lead to lower productivity ... it's a give and take. I'm in NYC so simply leaving the house can be really triggering, stressful, etc... Would be happy to create some sort of work-from-home accountability group. (SOrry, I'm brand new to the forums so if this is the wrong place I apologize, doing my best to follow the rules!)
     

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