It's Time

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Diego Soldado de Dios, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Hello to all of you, first of all I'll like to thank you for this website and for helping all of us to get rid of this awful addiction. I am a male now living in Peru, and I am 22 years old.
    The firs time I recall watching porn was when I had 14 years and it began to grow and to influence my life more each year that passed.

    I am Catholic and this is really a problem to me, it is a very big sin and I've been always angry with me for watching porn and masturbating. When I turn 18 I tried to stop, and for some periods I accomplished certain goals. I began to reduce the times I watched porn and masturbate to once every two weeks or so, one period I even reached one month and a half without doing it, but at the end it always returned and I couldn't leave it.

    Yesterday I finally realized that I am an addict to this, because I can't leave it alone, even with all the effort I have done. Now I am willing to do the final streak, the one that will let me free of porn, I really hope and pray for it to become a reality.
     
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    rafael33 likes this.
  3. Coffee Candy

    Coffee Candy Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

    Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

    People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal, we could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     
    rafael33 and Theinquiringmind like this.
  4. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    So long no big problems, only little thoughts but no big urges
     
    Azzure likes this.
  5. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday and today has been the most difficult days until now. Yesterday I had a very strong urge, thanks God nothing else happened. But at night I started to look pictures of beautiful women, there weren't bad pictures but nonetheless I saw them. And today I searched for cosplays of beautiful girls and I started having thoughts, not very bad ones, but they were there. Now they are over, I need to be more careful.
     
  6. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    In Saturday 7 of September of 2019 I masturbated, I was having a lot of urges, and a lot of thoughts, then at home I saw pictures that gave my brain more fuel to keep imagining bad situations. Then I masturbated, I had an strike of 23 at that time. I didn't watched porn.
     
    rafael33 likes this.
  7. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    23 days NO PMO - Congratulations!
    Great, you made a new start and didn’t run away.

    I consider it as learning process. Your body produces great amounts of hormones, that’s not bad, that’s natural. Easily you can get addicted to P and M - most people are. And most people don’t realize they are addicted to M.

    Focus on what you really want: true happiness. Keep on trucking - all is well.
    You are a wonderful person who is doing serious efforts to get rid of addiction. And remember: God loves you, he doesn’t judge you.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  8. IntegralSoul

    IntegralSoul Fapstronaut

    Hi there. I was reading a book last week, and a chapter on addictions changed my thinking about porn. The author said that when we watch porn or engage in casual sex, we are taking advantage of a weaker soul. We are not seeing them as human. I saw that this was my problem and I said out loud "I'm addicted to porn", then joined this. God bless you on your journey to a better life!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your words, I'm really grateful. But today I did it again, I masturbated and search for a lot of porn. I didn't watch it, but I saw the descriptions and images. It knock me down. Keep going in your journey, I'll do it to. Thanks for your support, I will be glad to be for you at any time.
     
  10. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, yeah I started in this page the day I realized I was addicted to porn, but lately I forgot and fell down again. God bless you to, and thanks for your support
     
  11. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Today I had an strike of 9 days, and I fell. I'm rebooting for real this time. I'm praying for it, cause I can't do it alone
     
  12. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Some days ago I searched seductive pictures on my phone, no big deal. But today I did it again. Other thing that has happened in the last few days is that I met Jose and he has been a big help for me
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    It's a new year, I've been relapsing a lot in the past months. I'm mad at me, I forgot how to pray, how to be with myself. I don't know me, I really want to change, to find me. The most important goal for these 3 months is overcoming porn. Today I will start a journal in which I'll write every day using the information of this video www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QXD1E-hS8Y
     
  14. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Morning after the relapsing.

    In the recent days I've been worried about a friend because I think she's in love with me. I like her a lot, but as a friend I want to protect our friendship. Also I have been very worried for been the president of the youth group in my church. Yesterday I was going to take a bath in the morning, I entered the bathroom to poop, and while I was doing that I started thinking about sex. I didn't wanted to stop thinking about that so I kept doing it and then I started masturbating. The lie that I told myself was that I was going to enjoy it, that masturbating was going to make me feel good and erase all the worries I had. Later that night right before I was going to bed I started thinking again. I was really mad and disappointed at me for the thing I did in the morning and I didn't mind to throw all away, I didn't care about anything and I started watching porn. That night I masturbated two times, adding the one in the morning I did it 3 times. The lie I told myself that night was that I had no worth, that I was nothing, that I'm sick and that I was not going to be able to recover, ever.

    To prevent this, in the morning I should have told me that those thoughts were bad, I should have entered in the shower and bath with cold water while I prayed to God for strength to overcome the situation. If I had fallen the first time, in the night I should not have told me that I don't worth anything, I should have remembered that God loves me, he always do, and he is always waiting for me to love him back.
     
  15. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Night

    Today I went to confess my sins to a catholic priest, that will help me to restart this journey. God is the only possible way in which I can achieve this. I went to the church and assisted to mass (misa), there I prayed and later talked a lot with my friends. While I was in the mass some bad thoughts came to my head, it usually happens, it is like the sequel to being watching porn, I prayed. Later in the night I went home and started watching a Netflix series, I saw 3 episodes, that was too much, I should not had seen the last one, I think that I don't want to sleep yet because I went to sleep at 3 am yesterday. Now I'm going to pray, and sleep.
     
  16. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    1 day

    This one will be short. Today no big deal I did not have a lot of bad thoughts, I went to talk with my friends and to class. God, I'm going to pray in English, but please help me, with my dreams, your will be done in me, make as you wish with me, help me to learn how to love you, how to love myself. Please help me in this journey I'm going in.
     
  17. thelitfit1

    thelitfit1 Fapstronaut

    Welcome Diego! Best of luck to you on your NoFap journey!
     
  18. Jesus was never very hard on the sins of the flesh (the offenses of chastity).
    Mary-Magdalene was a prostitute, she ended up at the foot of the cross!
    I think it is important to understand that there are far more serious sins, pride and the love of money for example as Pope Francis says.
    Sometimes the fact of feeling weak compared to pornography, allows to grow our humility, to recognize ourselves small before God.
    After that we should certainly not minimize this sin, but do not over-dramatize things, defer to God by continuing to fight.
    Be blessed.
     
  19. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your support, we will keep going together
     
  20. Diego Soldado de Dios

    Diego Soldado de Dios Fapstronaut

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    You are right, I really appreciate your help, sometimes I need to be more humble, I will keep in mind that phrase of the pope. I know God loves me and will love me even if I fall, and I will continue with this journey. Bless you too
     

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