In my 30 days post, I decided to use that post to discuss one side of my journey. This time I’ll take a different direction. It’s been an amazing 60 days, 60 days of me pushing myself to my willpower limits and beyond, learning to deal with urges and negative thoughts both at school and at home. I’m seeing some changes in myself, visible mostly to myself, but in general, I’m very proud of myself: Positive changes: 60 straight days (and still going!) of No-PMO Hard Mode. Regaining old memories, particularly from a time in my life that I was so depressed most of the time, that I thought I’d only remember the things that I wrote down. I’m very happy that I’m starting to remember other moments, both good and bad, from that period, because it was a very important time in my life. Taking walks almost every day – thanks to these walks, I’ve recently been re-motivated into listening to classes and podcasts while I walk, something I stopped some time ago. My diet is going pretty well; I lost some weight. Starting to notice when I’m binging mindlessly. Instead of using PMO to “deal” with negative thoughts and feelings, I let the feelings sink in, and I’m trying to deal with them. My dreams are more vivid, which is nice. I’m no longer nervous when someone enters my room. I was always afraid of being caught. I feel that I can look my family in the eye now. Heck, I can look myself in the eye without beating myself mentally. It’s great. I usually sleep between 6.5-7 hours a night, and it’s great. I’m more refreshed in the mornings. Not only that, but in the past I could only fall asleep at night if I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. Now that I have a set time of going to sleep, I just close my eyes and a couple of minutes later fall asleep. Recently I’ve gotten re-interested in my writing projects. I’ve got more motivation in general for my art and writing. Negative changes: Still have urges, obviously. Wet dreams. SO MANY, and they’re driving me crazy. But there’s also something positive in them, that whenever I have one, I use that sadness to push myself to crack down harder on PMO-related thoughts. I’ve found that I need to urinate a lot. Some days it feels almost constant... Some short-term memory loss, though this hasn’t happened in a few weeks, so it may be gone. At least for now… Some notes: It’s really important that you learn how to get in touch with your feelings, rather than mindlessly binging on anything – whether it’s PMO-related or not. Be aware of what your feeling, learn to describe those emotions, for example: I’m bored now, I’m sad now, etc. then ask yourself why you’ve become this way and what can be done. Don’t let your guard down. Recently I had a few days where I was thinking to myself: Okay, I can focus now less on the no-PMO aspect of the reboot and focus more on bettering myself. A day later, my urges intensified like crazy. It’s important to find the right motivation. Make sure that the reason you’re in this is the right reason, that’s enough to hold you even when you don’t see anything else going your way. Make sure you’re not doing this for any side benefits, because side benefits won’t necessarily happen. It’s different for every person. Whenever you have an urge, remind yourself that it's completely worth putting in the work to hold yourself back - To rehabilitate yourself, to learn self-control, to strengthen your willpower - there are a lot of reasons. Don’t give up. It’s never a lost cause. To finish off, I’ll just say that I’m happy and proud of myself for (finally) having the drive to reboot myself. I’m not planning on ever going back. My goal is to keep on going forward forever. I’ve seen people write here how they’re hoping to get back to “healthy” MOing after their reboot. I believe that’s a mistake; for some reason science wants us to think MOing is perfectly safe. I don’t think it is. In the end, such a person is still getting an unhealthy dopamine rush, still objectifying women in his fantasies. It may not be on the same level as PMO, but it’s still bad. I wish myself luck on continuing this journey, and to everyone else. Have a nice day.