Been out of high school 3 years (graduated 2016), dad died right before college started. Moved away 1 year after dad died with my mom to a different state to transfer colleges for a different engineering school while she got new work. Used to be a straight A student in high school, but failed a few classes my first semester (fall 2017), took off time and did a little work (spring 2018) while retaking the classes I failed. Came back optimistic about (fall 2018) semester, but ended up failing another class again, and now i'm gonna move back up north with mom in (may 2019) and working during (spring 2019) instead of going to school since I failed my mother (we decided in the middle of (fall 2018) to move back up north because we hate it in the south and we miss our family). I have been using porn and masturbating since age 14, was never a problem until after my dad died, when I started college and masturbated at home instead of trying to connect with new people, while all of my old friends from high school drifted away. Problems got worse and worse after I moved away to a new college and state, I felt lonely and that's when I started to really start masturbating 6-10 times a day. I used to run about 40 miles a week and enjoyed studying and going to school, now I hate it and I feel angry, spiteful, and sad all of the time. I've wasted so much of my mom's time and money, I feel like I'm the worst son ever and I'll never get better. I've tried changing and NoFap but I've failed every time, and there's just so much guilt now because of what I've done that I don't think I can overcome it. I've become a failure.