I made an account in college, in 2014 and was fully on board. Right off the bat, I hit a 90 day streak. Life was awesome. Then I relapsed and learned about porn substitutes. I grew from that and tried it again. And I relapsed and then tried again. And again. And again. And. again... Now don't get me wrong, these are not 5 day streaks. These are 90 day streaks, 120 day streaks. 30 day streaks. Some times hard mode, most times allowing M. I have done this over and over again. I have reflected every time. I have tried different techniques. I have become increasingly open about this addiction with many of my friends (as I try to enlighten them). And then in March, 2017, I purchased Ever Accountable and this suddenly became so much easier. I did not watch porn for SEVEN FUCKING MONTHS. It was amazing. I found the secret key, the magic bullet. While I did relapse, I noticed something about my relapses. The time in between streaks was getting shorter and shorter. For instance, right after my 7 month streak, I binged on porn for 2 weeks. The next relapse was only 1 week long. Soon I was hitting a place, where I was only 2 days between streaks. It was like as I was relapsing, I knew I would get right back to cutting it out of my life. Sometimes I knew I would add back my accountability partners in 3 days. And that brings me to the year of 2018. I added a new accountability partner. And I felt a negative spin. I would hit a 30ish day streak and then just remove my accountability partners. I did this 3 times except a negative trend was growing. My relapse period was getting longer and longer. My streaks were getting shorter and shorter. I stopped posting on this forum. Then four weeks ago I relapsed, with no intention of getting back on track. Part of me had given up. I'm not sure why. And it's gotten worse. I PMO'd in the bathroom at work, which disgusted me. I did it once and was like I cannot believe I just did that. Then a week later I did it again. I'm a high school teacher and it just weirds me out that I'm stooping to that level. But it got worse! When I was alone in my classroom I started watching some porn. I usually get to school super early, and have complete privacy in my classroom, so I would do a bit of work, then watch some porn for 5 minutes (no MO). Last week, I was doing this and I decided to PMO in the bathroom again, when I realized I could just PMO right in the classroom. I had the privacy to do so. And I fucking did it. A bit of shame =( I've tried visualizing what would happen if I somehow got caught. And it would literally fuck a lot of my life up. But I still have done it a few times. And I finally worked up the courage and determination to at least "confess" on this forum to get it off my chest. ~~~ Can the fapstraunauts give some support and guide a lost person? I know this isn't the worst thing ever, but I miss cutting it out of my life. I don't feel like my life changes too much when I am PMO'ing, but I know I need to cut it out. Many thanks for all your support.