I've been visiting this forum less and I think it's a good thing

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Saserman, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    I'm not hating this community. In fact I think it's great, but I've been visiting it less for my recent noPMO journey and I've found it to be more productive and I have less urges now.

    Here's why:
    - If I keep going to this forum, I keep reminding myself I'm doing noPMO, which kinda makes it harder, if that makes sense.
    - Other people tend to detail their sex lives in this forum. At some point during noPMO you start getting desperate and start looking for these threads. Avoiding this forum somewhat helps. I'm also really glad that they added the [NSFW]NSFW[/NSFW] tag, but I hope more people use it..
    - A lot of threads are very depressing unfortunately, but it's somewhat expected.. People experessing self-shame, bad sex lives, etc. It's good to read those less.

    I'm wondering if others do this as well.

    I'm now 2 weeks in. In my past experience the third and fourth weeks are the most brutal ones as I keep getting nonstop urges and keep fantassizing, and the most I've ever gone without PMO was around 32 days. Lets see how it goes this time.
     
  2. Captain B

    Captain B Fapstronaut

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    I think I can somewhat relate to what you're saying. I try not to spend too much time on here because I feel like it's making PMO, or rather staying away from PMO, too much of a big deal in my mind when I'm trying to leave it aside. That being said, I also try to use everything I find on here in a positive way:

    - Accidently read a triggering post? -> Challenge accepted! Fight it!
    - Read a sad story? -> Keep it in mind! If you get close to relapsing, ask yourself "Do you wanna end up like that one guy?"
    - Read a story of someone who's doing better / is stronger than you? -> Try to catch up!
     
  3. SirFapMeNot

    SirFapMeNot Fapstronaut

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    I agree with certain points, Saserman.

    No doubt people should use the NSFW tags much more, there are many potential triggers out there with no warning.

    There are also quite a few journals that I can't read because the journal...ist is constantly negative, or worse, almost bipolar in nature, swinging from mania due to a life-changing epiphany to depression upon relapse. This isn't a criticism of those who write in that way as it's just how they're feeling, and I don't think anybody should really be critical of the expression of that emotion, on their own journal, especially if it's helping them. But it's not helpful, or if anything detrimental, to my own progress to read posts of that nature, and so I do stay away from those journals once I've identified them. I wish them well of course, but it's just not for me.

    That said, I have found several journals which are helpful to me for some reason, whether they seem like a similar person to me or they're at the same stage in the process or they just write well or have good ideas/advice/progress. I suppose the cliff notes of what I'm trying to say is that while I visit/read the forum less as a whole since I first joined up, I still regularly and often visit a few threads which do help me.
     
  4. lilnavadaa

    lilnavadaa Fapstronaut

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    Read my post I just posted called . A HUGE reason we end up relapsing.
     
  5. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    Bump

    24 days in now, and it wasn't as hard as the last time I reached this far. Sure I do get urges every now and then, but it's really not as much as before

    I really think avoiding this site helped a lot. I still visit this site from time to time to encourage other people, but only in weekends.

    I highly recommend doing this if you find yourself struggling, especially if you're a virgin and are doing hard mode like I am
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2014
  6. Geyser

    Geyser Fapstronaut

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    I keep going back an forth on this issue.

    But in the end I agree with SirFapMeNot. Seek out the positive, avoid the negative, and never ever criticize someone else for their journal contents. If you don't like what they have to say don't read their journals. A journal is more for the person writing it then those who choose to read it.

    Mine runs the gamut from jubilee to exacerbation. As does my NoFap story. But it is mostly for me. I do, however, get something from the fact that others get something out of it. I've also met many a great fapstronaut/femstronaut because of my journal or theirs.

    All in all their is much more positive here then negative. So, I say visit as much or as little as you want/need to.

    Thanks everybody,

    Geyser
     
  7. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    Journals I feel like are fair game for anything you wish to write. The NSFW tags actually tend to make me want to look at them more just because I want to know what is inside it. I like the forum, and I am aiming to try to help people. I like helping people and if just helping someone extend that streak one more day is all I can do, at least I tried to help them take another step forward.

    I think a lot of people are reaching out for help. I don't want to leave people hanging when all they needed was that little extra "push". I feel confident in my own journey to no PMO and that even with the depressing posts and NSFW ect. I am in a good position to try and positively impact these people who need help.
     
  8. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    I know I am new here and perhaps do not have much to say. But the whole idea of a community is that it is a place to receive as well as give. If all of us decide to stay away from this site and only check in from time to time for our personal benefit, this community and support network will collapse.

    I agree that one should not obsess about nofap, but I think it is understandable to make it a good deal. This is a real battle, a war not to be taken lightly. For many here, it is more than just a battle to regain control over one's personal life. There are futures, careers, marriages, relationships, etc at stake and it does warrant the effort and attention one can give.

    Today, I have been wanting to PMO. But stopping here briefly, reading other people's stories and posts made me realise that I am not alone. There are others like me in the same struggle. I have found the strength to resist, and learned a few tips from others through both their successes and struggles.

    In the end, isolation (which is how PMO strives) may end up costing someone more than connecting with others :cool:
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2014
  9. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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  10. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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