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I've changed.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by heartpower, Aug 15, 2015.

  1. heartpower

    heartpower Fapstronaut

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    I've relapsed so many times. But my behavior and many of my thoughts have changed.

    I used to have violent and really strange sexual thoughts. I rarely have those anymore.

    I used to get excited by porn and masturbation. I actually find it to be quite boring now.

    I used to not care so much about others, I now have feelings and actually find some women to be interesting.

    Do I still have my days? Yes. Do I still have pain inside? Yes. But I've changed. I've improved.

    I'm a better person than I was before I started to reach out for help.

    I've taken on new interests that have me more excited than porn ever did.

    I actually find the challenge to not masturbate to be an exciting venture.

    Because in my mind somewhere I tell myself that masturbation really isn't needed to survive.

    Like, I'll live if I don't masturbate or watch porn.

    Here's how it goes for me:

    1. I masturbate/watch porn and I feel relaxed and fall asleep.
    2. I feel strange and out of it the next day, my body feels all disfigured.
    3. I abstain and begin to feel anxious and fearful.
    4. At some point usually after 3 days I begin to feel peaceful again with less anxiety and more focus.
    5. Unfortunately at some point I feel entitled to act out.

    But from where I stand right now, I can say that masturbating and porn has gotten so freakin' boring.

    I want so much more out of life!

    Don't give up!
     
    fredisthebes and Real_OGH like this.
  2. Real_OGH

    Real_OGH Fapstronaut

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    "I want so much more out of life" that's why I started nofap!!! we cant give up
     
    heartpower and Kenzo89 like this.

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