I've got huge urges to Cross Dress, what can I do to surpress these effectively?

If you had been PMOing to porn related to cross-dressing and feminization, it's expected to see an increase in urges and an almost manic state of arousal. It's the sign of you going through withdrawal. This happens to lots of people, so don't worry.

see rebooting basics page

What does withdrawal from porn addiction look like?

I quit using porn and now I feel worse. Is this normal?

What do I do when I have too much sexual energy?

What are the symptoms of excessive Internet porn use?

Trying to "man up" or rationalize your way out of crossdressing will probably make the feelings worse. The more you have the mindset that men are supposed to be "masculine" (whatever that means) and only do certain things, the more you're going to feel shameful and worthless, pushing you towards crossdressing and other activities that make you feel humiliated.

It's pretty obvious that you feel crossdressing is something you don't want to do and it doesn't fit with your lifestyle. So just don't do it. The part of you that wants to do it is ancient reptilian circuitry that has connected sexual rewards and crossdressing, not the human part of your brain that doesn't like it. You have to conquer the lizard part of your brain with a 90 day reboot, then start engaging in sexual practices that everyone knows are healthy and generally make you feel fulfilled (flirting, dating, hugging, kissing, touching, and eventually sex). Once you've been having sex for a while (about another 90 days), see if you want to try crossdressing or if your urges for that activity are like your organic sexual desires for another person (chances are it won't be).

Instead of doing masculine things, do things that you just like to do. It's true men tend to like certain things, but that doesn't mean you have to like them. Do what makes you feel fulfilled and content. Some things related to crossdressing (wearing makeup, painting nails, shaving your legs) may not explicitly be crossdressing, but are related enough that you get a similar dopamine rush, and those should be avoided, even if they're socially acceptable. Otherwise, just pursue things you like to do, as well as striving towards your school/career goals. Doing "manly things won't make you happy, doing things that make you happy will make you happy.

I used to deal with similar desires myself. Check out my story at Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing). You've probably stumbled across the sissy fetish in your time using crossdressing material

 

I get the same urges, your brain knows that it is exciting and taboo therefore it wants it even more because of the huge dopamine hit it will cause.

 

Like I said before, it's expected to be more easily aroused and frantic for release during a reboot, especially in the beginning. Your brain is literally going through withdrawal. Please look at the links I provided above. This is all expected.

I don't think you need to go to a monastery, but making some life changes that reduce how much you get aroused is a great idea. Limiting time spent in "triggering" environments is a must do. This most often includes places you PMO or crossdress frequently, such as your bedroom or house. During my first reboot I would only go to my bedroom to sleep, and would only be in my house to eat. I would wake up at 7am, eat and get ready, leave by 7:30, come back for dinner around 8:30, either go to the library or hang with friends, and then go home and sleep immediately.

If you're getting triggered at work by female colleagues for whatever reasons, I would limit contact with them and try to avoid them. Try not to be too rude or obvious about it. It may feel shitty, but it's just something you're gonna have to do for the next few weeks. If you could elaborate on your relationship with your triggering colleagues that would be great.

The mindset that "being manly" involves lifting weights, listening to heavy metal, and doing other stereotypical things will make you more manly is part of what's keeping you in this hole. Doing stereotypical manly things will not make you overcome these destructive desires. They just won't. Rebooting and having normal sexual activities with people you care about it gonna get rid of them. I agree that exercise, especially weightlifting, is a great way to decrease urges and stay healthy, but they don't make you more manly. Ideas like that are rooted in very old stereotypes. Do whatever make you feel good in the long run.

Crossdressing obviously doesn't make you feel good, so don't do it.

Rebooting will definitely make you feel better in the long run, so do it.

Weightlifting and heavy metal could make you happy in the long run, so try it out.

Don't do things because they're manly. THEY WILL NOT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. Do things that make you feel fulfilled and happy in the long run. If they happen to be "masculine" or "feminine", who gives a fuck. You should know waht these things are pretty easily.

***This is not an encouragement to crossdress. It obviously makes you feel shitty. Other things related to that, like sissy porn, feminization, makeup, painting your nails, etc., should not be engaged. It seems pretty obvious those are compulsions and will not make you happy. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be ashamed of doing things that make you happy if they're typically feminine. No one cares in our modern society. People that do are stuck in the past.***

 

Couldn't say it better myself.

 

You're over thinking it. Trying to do masculine things is faking it and over compensating. What you should do is throw out your female clothes and do activities you like regardless of masculine or feminine. Don't think of the gender roles. If you are wearing boy clothes you won't feel bad. Do activities you like and don't sexualize everything. And most importantly, stay strong.

 

When I had urges to cross dress (and acted out on them for some time) I think I had a deficiency in feminine energy, rather than masculine energy.

A lack of interactions with women seemed to motivate me to find some feminine energy, even if I had to create it myself through a female alter ego!

Like you I tried similar masculine things to make me 'snap out of it'. Heavy music, typical guy hobbies, etc.

When I gave up the sissy porn and started talking to women with less social anxiety, that's when the desire to cross dress started to go away, now non existent.

Give it some time and see what works for you. But I would recommend finding that connection to feminine energy in a healthy place, and just be your normal self wherever that fits in the spectrum of masculinity.

 

Totally agree. Porn teaches you to sexualize everything and it's very toxic. Just do things that make you happy and fulfilled, regardless of gender roles and shit. Just be happy and don't overthink things

 

Very interesting, sometimes dreams are random and don't mean much, but this may be a call to action - definitely nothing wrong with finding more connection with women - and agree there's a lot of non-sexual intimacy needs we should pursue as well!

I had a dream a week ago: Currently I'm single and super stressed with study finishing up, and I dreamt I was going through my studies and stresses out (typical weeknight experience) and a girl I knew from school was there and instinctively gave me a hug to comfort me. Even though it was a dream, I felt that real need for trust and companionship...

@WildEntheology is right on the money I think - some of the best connections I've had with women have been barely a week post-relapse.

You do want to become a better version of yourself over time. But there's no reason to hide yourself along the way. Remember all girls out there have their challenges and character flaws too, and there's nothing wrong with that either!

 

You have most likely desentized your dopamin receptors so much that forces you into extreme fetishes and think's that is "your" fantasy. No, it's your addiction dragging you further down. It's very common in you read around here that people totally loses their so called "fetishes" after a reboot over a longer time.

 

Man you're getting insane amount of wisdom from the replies here.
I have similar issues. Never crossed the line of CD, sissy hypno and all that sh#t, but anal play and impersonating a sub girl for that maximum dopamine rush = check. Lately I've also fallen deeper than ever into a disgusting fetish that I've had in the background for a long time, namely sc#t porn. Except for illegal stuff you don't get more shameful than this. All these fetishes are indeed your addicted brain craving more and more extreme stuff. Same as going from marijuana to harder stuff and finally ruining your life with crack. You think you can just dip a toe and come back, but this is not the way it works.