I've had enough

Hi, a little nervous doing this. Always have kept things to myself. But..I need encouragement and am committed to eliminating porn and masturbating from my life for good.
I'm 48, and have been M since 12 or so. It used to always be I'm horny so let's get some relief. I'm married and have been for a long time.
About 3 yrs ago. My wife went through the change. Ugh. It made sex uncomfortable for her until she just lost all interest. We hadn't had sex for a little over 2 yrs. so I turned to what I know. Taking care of business myself.
Fantasy used to be good enough, but then I discovered foot fetish websites and found a stimulation like I haven't experienced before. I would PMO sometimes 3-4 times a day. Even at work. Death grip. Yeah you betcha. I've PMO'd so much before I've split the skin and was bleeding. But that still didn't stop me. Discovered tumblr after I got an IPhone and foot fetish turned to lesbian which turned to hand jobs then watching other guys MO videos. Never felt gay, but always felt like total shit about myself. Recently the search turned to daddy dom sites!! What?! I couldn't believe what I'm watching and that it was turning me on. What kind of sex crazed monster had I became.
Last week I PMO'd to the equivalent of an incest rape scene and cried afterwards. I typed in how do I quit masturbating and it took me to yourbrainonporn.
Wow!! Did not know so many others suffered from this. I clearly have PIED and DE. Taking meds and T all to help.
But last Thursday I had enough. It's been 7 rough! days. I think I'm starting a flatline because there is nothing going on down there since no porn.
I don't know if anyone will comment. I don't care. This is my written and public commitment to just fucking stop. I hate what I've become and am going to be realistic about my goals. Every day is just day 1.
Anyway. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 

Thanks Mike. I know it's going to be a struggle but I think I'm down for it.

 

Strategy? I don't know. Just not doing it. Approaching each day as day one. I've read the lists. I've seen all the do this and do that help pages.
Seriously?! Do squats. Lmao. Nope. It boils down to I just don't want to be that person alone in the shadows in the bathroom yanking on my dick as hard as I can to a picture or video of a young girl being victimized until I tear the skin and bleed all over my hand and wadded up tissue anymore.
I dot feel any long lasting satisfaction from it. I'm on day 9 and I'm in a flatline which is a blessing. There is absolutely no activity downstairs. Lol.

 

Thanks. Pretty insightful and lots of good advice.

 

No slight taken. Lol. I wish there was stuff like this around when I was younger. But honestly, when I was in my 20's PMO was more of a sport for me. No high speed internet. But still plenty to see. I just didn't see where it was taking me.
Thank you for your support

 

Totally agree. Every day is "ok, I'm not doing this today!" I'm only counting until I don't need to count days anymore. Just try to find the heart of this life and get my mojo back.