I've hit 25-35 days 4 times this year and relapsed. Hoping for better success now.

It almost feels like I'm pulling the curtain away on my real life, and each time I do it I learned something new and scary about myself and the amount of pain I feel leads me back to relapsing.

I'm also learning a lot though and changing for the better. Every streak gives me more confidence and allows me to have more natural experiences.

I just got back to 25 days today. I'm really sick and feel like s*** and stuck in bed. It'll be really easy to watch some pornography or jerk off to some fetish p***. Instead I'm going to nurse this sickness with some coconut water and some soup. Hopefully I'll be better by this weekend because I have lots of fun social plans

I've also added a lot more therapy to my weekly life. In past streaks when I would have a bad memory about childhood, I would relapse and cry. So instead of doing that I go to a childhood abuse meeting and cry there instead. When I used to be lonely, I would watch p*** or jerk off. Now I go for a walk or call a friend. It seems like one of the biggest lessons of this streak is to replace my p*** coping mechanism with something healthier.