It's almost 3am, I have a college math test at 8am which I haven't adequately prepared for.... It's my first semester and I'm probably going to fail math due to the fact that I just can't take out the time to study because when I attempt to porn looks much more interesting. I've now escalated to sexting with girls I have no intention of creating a relationship with while keeping the relationship I'm trying to build with a girl I legitimately love alive. I'm at a constant battle with myself. I'm in love with this girl who I wish to protect from my internal addict. Life is great, except the college part, I just got a new job, The girl I love is showing lots of interest.... and here I am throwing my life away on porn and on another girl who herself has told me I'm making the wrong decision here. I'm at a constant battle between what my heart wants and what my mind craves. The heart wants a long loving relationship with the girl of my dreams, and it tells me sex can wait till marriage with this particular girl... The mind on the other hand wants sex now, it only wants sexual release without forming a relationship with the girl I give my virginity to. This is the second time I've been about to give up my virginity. I know I can do so at any moment but the heart wants me to wait and to only have intercourse with the girl of my dreams. I don't know what to do, I'm torn between two worlds. I'm going through hell.