I've PIED and see improvement but erection is not sufficient. Suggestions?

[JohnWester]

Hi everyone.
I've been on this journey for almost 2 months now. I've had a pretty severe for almost 15 years addiction to femdom and hypno porn. Which is MUCH worse that plain vanilla porn but that's another story and we're not here to compare who has it worse.

I'm happy with the way I proceed. I've been PMO clean for almost these 2 months (besides 2 times in the last 2 weeks that my SO JOed me to orgasm)

It's worth to be noted that I'm 33 and haven't had completed sex in my life (probably due to the addictions and unsuccessful attempts in the past), which I'm sure makes my stress worse and me anxious with performance anxiety ED.

Things are improving, since, in comparison to the first time we came intimately together I couldn't even get it up and now the last 2 times I had normal erection 2-3 times throughout the time together and even orgasmed (through hand jerking by her) 2 times each of the last 2 times. I guess these are good signs.

My problem is though that, even that now I'm able to get it up and hard, I can't keep it sufficiently hard enough or for long enough. Whenever we're "feeling it" and I go grab a condom or to the thought of penetration, the erection gets softer or completely soft. To the point of course that we can't speak for use of condoms or any penetrative sex. I'm sure it's still psychological origin as it was at the beginning and nothing physical.

I know it's in general an improved situation from the first time but still, what can I do to get past this?
I've joined some ED Courses like Mojo and have been listening to some hypnosis audios for ED, fear of sex, sex confidence etc. It seems though (I think) that I'm at a point where they don't help that much anymore. What do you think can I do now and how to proceed?

Best of luck to all here that try their best for themselves and for the ones they love and care about

 

[Psalm27:1my light]

Hi everyone.
I've been on this journey for almost 2 months now. I've had a pretty severe for almost 15 years addiction to femdom and hypno porn. Which is MUCH worse that plain vanilla porn but that's another story and we're not here to compare who has it worse.

I'm happy with the way I proceed. I've been PMO clean for almost these 2 months (besides 2 times in the last 2 weeks that my SO JOed me to orgasm)

It's worth to be noted that I'm 33 and haven't had completed sex in my life (probably due to the addictions and unsuccessful attempts in the past), which I'm sure makes my stress worse and me anxious with performance anxiety ED.

Things are improving, since, in comparison to the first time we came intimately together I couldn't even get it up and now the last 2 times I had normal erection 2-3 times throughout the time together and even orgasmed (through hand jerking by her) 2 times each of the last 2 times. I guess these are good signs.

My problem is though that, even that now I'm able to get it up and hard, I can't keep it sufficiently hard enough or for long enough. Whenever we're "feeling it" and I go grab a condom or to the thought of penetration, the erection gets softer or completely soft. To the point of course that we can't speak for use of condoms or any penetrative sex. I'm sure it's still psychological origin as it was at the beginning and nothing physical.

I know it's in general an improved situation from the first time but still, what can I do to get past this?
I've joined some ED Courses like Mojo and have been listening to some hypnosis audios for ED, fear of sex, sex confidence etc. It seems though (I think) that I'm at a point where they don't help that much anymore. What do you think can I do now and how to proceed?

Best of luck to all here that try their best for themselves and for the ones they love and care about

It took my husband between 4-6 months to be able to have actual sex without Ed. What really helped was once we did hard mode. No sex, no masturbating, no porn. I didn’t dress or undress in front of him. No sexual stimulus. He’s been in recovery for 4 years now, if he slips Ed comes back.

 

[Lenard Fosterman]

haven't had completed sex in my life

Here's the pressure in your mindset. Sex can be complete without penetration. It's about much more... intimacy, bonding, attentiveness...
Your brain is the sex organ that needs to heal, not your penis. It needs time and relaxation. Stop playing hide-and-seek with your erection.
Change the game rules. Tell your SO (btw does she know about your healing process?) that you're not allowed to penetrate her in the next three (four, five, ...) months. Maybe not even allowed to O. But that you still like to be intimate. Relax, be creative and see what happens. Keep the focus on what you experience and not what you don't. It may become very fulfilling for the both of you. Best of luck to you, too!