I've tried everything

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Nah181, Mar 21, 2018.

  1. Nah181

    Nah181 New Fapstronaut

    I hoped that doing NoFap would be the piece of the puzzle I was missing; the one thing I hadn't yet tried. Well it hasn't worked.

    New account here, but I found nofap on YouTube and have been on it for two months. I only ever watched porn a few times a month same with jacking off. As my title says, I've done everything in my power to create a relationship with a woman. A true one too. Yet I've continually failed...

    I don't understand how I've failed with women so many times. Every single time to be exact. Thousands of times over the years I've approached women. In school, at my job, in public, literally everywhere. I've tried many different ways. Pick up artist style, being a legitimate person, just trying to meet them. But every single time, they've turned their noses in my face.

    I workout reguarly, have a steady job and my own apartment. I have plenty of guy friends and have no problem socialising with them. Infact I'd say I'm pretty social. Im not bad looking either, pretty attractive.

    Maybe at first it was neverousness, but that's not the issue.

    I've tried online dating too, to no avail. I don't even understand how I've struck out so many times.

    In all honesty it's not the end of the world. I'm happy with where I am in life. But having some close to you like that is what I feel I'm lacking sometimes. It seems to me like I'm destined to be alone.

    That's my rant. If anyone has anything to say, feel free to say it
    ASD_OZ and The Errol like this.
  2. Motiv3

    Motiv3 Fapstronaut

  3. moonesque

    moonesque Fapstronaut

    You’ve been on NF for two months and you watched porn several times during that period. Many people take years to find the right woman all the while doing the right things, if that’s something to be desired for anyway.
    Give it time, give it commitment, have patience and take it seriously.
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  4. I know one thing I would never do online dating again to many flakes and fakes , meeting women face to face is were its at

    I don't see how that could be possible I need more detail on what you say to them to give a better opinion on that
  5. RobbyGo36

    RobbyGo36 Fapstronaut

    I agree its going to take some time. My 20s were a time of bad dates. My 30s were a bit better because I stopped using PMO, but since I had been under the influence of P, it took some time for me to discern what real about dating and what was just P reflected onto the real world.

    For instance, a few years ago I was talking to a friend about a girl I was dating. I'd probably been with her for maybe two dates, but was already considering cutting the cord because I was starting to think she might be uptight sexually. I confided this concern to my friend and said 'but she's not showing off her chest in her dating profile photo'. He looked at me like I had three heads. I now realize that not everywoman who wears a button-up is a prude. This was a P-induced perception I had to lose.

    You probably have some similar perceptions gained from using PMO. It'll take some time to sort out the real from the p-images, and do an inward exploration of what you want in a relationship, but its very do-able. By the way, I'm going on two years this July with my girl! Give it time, and maybe ask a therapist to help.

    All the best.
  6. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    If everything you've said is true, my only guess is that you do something terribly wrong when talking to them without realizing it. Can you give a few examples of your approaches with dialogues? It may be the issue of communication and not anything related to your face, body, voice, etc. Have you asked anyone to watch you approaching women? (Maybe your pickup couch/wingman, if you had one.)

    Also, how many girls have you approached, online included? You say "many", but I believe that if you simply rely on a random chance you'll eventually find a girlfriend, and things like generic interpersonal skills and pickup are essentially ways to increase your chances.
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  7. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

    I think you act too desperate and you need to just improve yourself, then your love will come to you and you will be together, as to find the right person to spend rest of life together can take a lot of time and also you haven't recovered at all from PMO addiction, if you had need to watch anything.

    If you see that relationships are only about sexual stuff, then you might be forever this way as if you are addicted to PMO then it means you sexualize relationships/love.
  8. ASD_OZ

    ASD_OZ Fapstronaut

    That pretty much sums up my 4 months of daily pick-up.
    I feel the same man
  9. kreto

    kreto Fapstronaut

    sometimes you have to stop trying to make it happen ... it is true.
  10. jeremiah960

    jeremiah960 Fapstronaut

    One thing that's helped me is joining Meet Up groups that I'm interested in. Finding my thing that makes me happy and as a natural consequence finding like minded people...some of them women!!

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