Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

DAY 1137: 03/11/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
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Last night, after making a delicious meal, then making a terrarium with our kids, there wasn't too much time left in the day, so the backrub was skipped and we went to watch some TV and he gave me a nice hand and foot rub before I went to bed.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "10 Simple Ways To Have More Self Control," in this episode, we learn about 10 simple ways to have more self-control. Remember, never let your emotions overpower your intelligence.

This morning, we went on our walk, we began listening to "People Pleasing Is Holding You Back" an interview with Patrice Washington, on Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. Patrice is a former National spokesperson, #1 Best Selling Personal Finance Author and Speaker & Money Maven of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. They explore why “Follow your passion and the money will come” is BS and what to do instead to create wealth. Patrice shares why more stuff will never fill the void and what´s necessary to embrace purpose and fulfillment. Patrice shares how her career skyrocketed after she accepted herself. They discuss why it´s okay to piss other people off to be successful and much more. So far, we heard them discuss why “Follow your passion and the money will come” is BS and what to do instead to create wealth, why more stuff will never fill the void and what´s necessary to embrace purpose and fulfillment, why you're confused and feel like something is missing even when you read all the books, how to build passion around the things you´re good at even when your natural gifts are unsexy, how her career skyrocketed after she accepted herself and stopped caring about others, why most people put their talent in a box and how to unleash it, why she threw away her suits, started to live into her authentic self, and why the reaction that followed made her cry, why you shouldn't leave room for a plan B and go all-in when you make a real decision, why it's okay to piss other people off to be successful, how she transformed from being insecure to badass self-esteem with the first pillar of her book, the confident practices she still does to this day, how to use her book´s second pillar to create wealthy relationships that matter, and her first responsibility, and what does she prioritize in her life above everything else. We did hit a few bumps on this trail, meaning triggering women. Wade claims that they do 'nothing' for him, but I don't know what to believe, all I know is they affect me internally, messing with the vibe of my entire day. I try to calm myself, but anytime I think back to 'them', I get impacted all over again.

Wade is home tonight, hopefully, he will be home from my mom's appointment soon, so he could nap before it's time to pick up the girls from school.

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Had a few triggers, got through them as best as I could.

#Video
10 Simple Ways to Build Self Control

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DAY 1138: 03/12/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Keto Options.
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Last night, he gave me a lovely trifecta, it soothed me a lot. Then we watched some TV, drama there as always - giving us plenty to discuss and analyze.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Why Self Preparation and Self Education Are The Keys To Success," in this episode, Jim Rohn explains why self-preparation and self-education are the keys to success. Remember, the greatest value in life is not what you get. The greatest value in life is what you become.

This morning, during our car ride, we continued listening to "People Pleasing Is Holding You Back" an interview with Patrice Washington, on Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. Patrice is a former National spokesperson, #1 Best Selling Personal Finance Author and Speaker & Money Maven of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. They explore why “Follow your passion and the money will come” is BS and what to do instead to create wealth. Patrice shares why more stuff will never fill the void and what's necessary to embrace purpose and fulfillment. Patrice shares how her career skyrocketed after she accepted herself. They discuss why even when you feel miserable right now, you're exactly on the right way, how to know if it's just a roadblock or if something isn't for you, and why you shouldn't give up even when you feel like nothing is working. Our morning was good until my dad decided to barge in and insist on starting work on our bathtub, "Right NOW!!" when he knows we were getting ready to leave and drop off our girls at school, omg, it was total chaos. Then, I took a breather because I knew we'd be on our way to having the rest of the day to ourselves, so we can get what we wanted to be done. Then, about 10 minutes after we got to our first destination, our eldest felt sick, while at school, so that event detailed our entire morning. I ended up lashing out at Wade, for which I apologized. When I am triggered, pissed, and stressed, trying to fix it with contradictory or uplifting messages just irritates me further and keeps my anger fueling. Anyway, we talked it out and both felt better after. We got some interesting stuff to try at the store, but there were some triggers there, which sucked.

Once we got home, the annoyances with my parents continued. I am too overwhelmed and exhausted by all this so much, I am left with no words.

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Realized I overreacted and lashed out at Wade, still found it within myself to own up to it.

#Video
NEVER GIVE UP

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DAY 1139: 03/13/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Family Time.
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Last night, he gave me a lovely trifecta. We watched some TV and went to bed early. Both of us were so out of it, after such a long and chaotic day. We had planned on enjoying the whole night, while our eldest was sleeping over at my parents, but neither of us had any energy, it was depleted by the end of the day lol.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Using The Power of Positivity To Guide Your Daily Actions," in this episode, we learn about using the power of positivity to guide your daily actions. Remember, don't be pushed by problems be led by dreams.

This morning, before we began our day officially, we finished listening to "People Pleasing Is Holding You Back" an interview with Patrice Washington, on Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. Patrice is a former National spokesperson, #1 Best Selling Personal Finance Author and Speaker & Money Maven of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. They explore why “Follow your passion and the money will come” is BS and what to do instead to create wealth. Patrice shares why more stuff will never fill the void and what's necessary to embrace purpose and fulfillment. Patrice shares how her career skyrocketed after she accepted herself. They discuss why even when you feel miserable right now, you're exactly on the right way, how to know if it's just a roadblock or if something isn't for you, and why you shouldn't give up even when you feel like nothing is working. We decided to venture out into another state in search of some more food options, which I am grateful to Wade for driving us there. We found some but I can not say it was so spectacular that we'll be coming here again. Although I wish they opened a store like that here in our area, would be nice. There were a few triggers at every destination we stopped at, which of course > sucked for me. One benefit was... garlic truffle fries, omg and I am still in my safe net carb zone, this was a luxury though, tomorrow I am back to healthier options. Best of all our little one had a really good time and she actually likes spending it with us! lol

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
I really enjoyed putting a smile on our little one's face.

#Video
RESET Your MINDSET

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DAY 1140: 03/14/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
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Last night, he gave me a lovely trifecta as we listened to some nice soft jazz, I think at this point this is more meditative for both of us lol. Then we watched some TV and then I went to bed and he went to work. I wish he was home though.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Answer The Question What Should I Do With My Life," in this episode, we get some help with the question of what should I do with my life. Remember, don't trade who you are for who you think the world needs because what the world needs is for you to be you.

This morning, during our walk, we listened to "Tips For Effective Communication in Any Relationship" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss their secrets for effective communication, why communication is the secret to a long-lasting relationship, and how to communicate in the right way, and how to use the right love language with your partner. Because that one was short, we had time to also listen to "How to Make Your Partner Happy Without Being Rich, Guaranteed" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss why money is not the most important thing in a relationship and how they managed the time in their lives when they had no money at all, how Tom handled being in a bad financial situation when he first met Lisa. How Lisa reframed not having money, to find joy in the situation, and why getting rich will not solve your relationship problems and the one thing that makes all the difference, what you can give instead of money which is way more powerful and much more. We discussed both videos as we walked and then ended with him tell me about his night and some of the jobs he went to, which is always entertaining.

After making me a nice, low-carb breakfast he went to sleep for the day. I actually have some silence because my parents took both girls because my dad did something with our tub and the whole place smells like a chemical field. Silence is nice, silence is golden and I will enjoy my few hours of freedom... even though I am freezing my butt off, with all these windows open.


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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers.

#Video
The ONLY Video You Need To Find Your TRUE PURPOSE In Life

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DAY 1141: 03/15/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Low Carb Options.
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Last night, he gave me a trifecta, it was calming for us both. Then we watched some TV before I headed off to bed and he went to work.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "5 Amazing Facts About Honey And Its Amazing Health Benefits," in this episode, we learn 5 amazing facts about the awesome health benefits of honey. Remember, happiness is the highest form of health.

This morning, I did my workout, then continued with my morning routine under the assumption that I'd still walk later. Wade had an incident at work and was held up, initially, he told me it was a late job, but then he wasn't updating me. I was getting irritated because he knows time is ticking and if we aren't walking, I'd like to let my parents know not to come in. Once he finally got back to me, after explaining what occurred, I understood where his head was at and let go of my own frustrations. My parents still stopped by because I told them he would be home shortly, so we wanted to run a quick errand. While my dad was repeating himself, over and over again, trying to get more thanks and compliments out of me for the 'fantastic job' he had done on our tub (after I had already thanked him graciously, for two days now)... Wade was still not home, so I told him it was too late for anything because he has to sleep, he agreed.

I am mentally exhausted, what a busy and loud morning (for my head). Today my goal is to do some more research and take more notes about this low carb/dirty keto lifestyle, for both myself and Wade.

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Empathized with Wade after learning what happened.

#Video
Why You Should Eat Raw Honey Every Day!

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DAY 1142: 03/16/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
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Last night, I asked Wade if perhaps we should skip the trifecta, because of his headspace, but he said it actually has become a form of meditation for him, so it's fine. Listen, I won't complain LOL I love double-dipping, I get enjoyment and pain relief from his massages AND I enjoy feeling his touch. Towards the end of the night, he seemed to be in a better mood, we watched some of '90 Day Fiance' and as usual, it gave us A LOT to discuss, I don't think either of us imagined we wu=ould be pausing and analyzing a show like this! then it was time for him to go to work and I went to bed.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Developing The Mindset You'll Need To Have Success In Life" in this episode, we learn about developing the mindset you'll need to have success in life. Remember, if anyone in the world can do something, so can you.

This morning, during our walk, we began listening to "How to Actually Burn Body Fat and Lose Weight" an interview with Shawn Stevenson, on Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Shawn Stevenson is a bestselling author, science educator, and host of ‘The Model Health Show’. During this interview, they set out to explore why you need to break past the conventional thinking that only calories matter and start listening to your body so that you can eat smarter and live healthier. They discuss how we truly burn fat off our bodies, how our body’s hormones are affected by the food we eat, why Shawn leads with kindness when discussing fat loss, the importance of the food we eat, why you need to go beyond just counting calories, how to adjust your diet by listening to your body, how to improve your microbiome and much more. So far, we've heard them discuss the importance of knowing your metabolic fingerprint, how we truly burn fat and calories in our bodies, how our bodies and hormones react to the foods we eat, why he leads with kindness when talking about fat, how he came to realize the importance of food, the importance of educating yourself about food, why health goes beyond just calories, how much our diet impacts our microbiome and gut health, how to get more probiotic foods into your diet, how to let your body guide your diet and how to reawaken your body’s inner intelligence. I love listening to Shawn, I watched a lot of his sleep videos and took some of his advice. I am really enjoying this interview, what he revealed about stains really has me wondering if they could be the cause of my plateau. Can't wait to finish this tomorrow.


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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers.

#Video
THE MINDSET OF HIGH ACHIEVERS!

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DAY 1143: 03/17/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Breathing.
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Last night, after a wonderful Trifecta, Wade and I continued watching 90 Day Fiance. My God, these people, I just can't, I mean I can because you can kind of see the obvious, but I can't with their dumb, selfish behaviors! wow. Anyway, he left for work and I went to bed... but I barely slept, sigh.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Stand Up For Yourself When It's Hard To Do" in this episode, Freddy Fri talks about how to stand up for yourself. Remember, a man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.

This morning, because Wade got held up at work, I did my morning workouts and after getting my girls situated, I watched a few informative videos about fats/saturated fats. Pretty much piggybacking off of what Shawn mentioned in the video we watched yesterday. I found a few good ones, but this one was the most informative and featured suggestions. It was "The TRUTH About Saturated Fat & Cholesterol" by Abby Sharp of Abbey's Kitchen. She discussed the controversy around saturated fats and whether or not it actually has a negative impact on heart health and cholesterol. This is important for me, especially right now, because going 'low carb', makes most of my options full of various forms of fats. I also know I need Omega-3's, but because I don't eat seafood, I needed other ideas and she provided them in this video. If low-carb continues to not work for me, I might just try the Mediterranean way of eating next, it actually sounds a whole lot more appealing, just because of all the healthy fruits and veggies required.

Wade will be out the whole day, so now I am waiting for my kids to finish up their remote learning for the day, so I can move my attention to figuring out our finances.

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Still worked out and got some steps in.

#Video
How To Stand Up For Yourself!

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DAY 1144: 03/18/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Stimulus check.
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Last night, Wade got home late, so we watched a little TV and both headed out to bed.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Grow Your Confidence By Walking Away From Negativity" in this episode, we get some great tips on how to grow your confidence by walking away from negativity. Remember, don't stay where you are tolerated. Go where you are celebrated.

This morning, the weather was bad, we ran an errand to the store. There were a few triggers there, but luckily not too, too many. Today is a nasty day (weather), but I am happy I dealt with our taxes, the school picture debacle, and other nuisances. I also didn't shame myself, too much, for skipping my workout today, my whole body is out of sorts.

Tonight we plan on surprising our girls with having a movie night, so we could watch "Raya and the Last Dragon" on Disney.

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Found my egg thins!

#Video
The Power Of Walking Away!

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DAY 1145: 03/19/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Hussle.
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Last night, Wade gave me a spa treatment, my Mani/Pedi looks awesome, thank you, baby. After the soothing trifecta, we continued watching The 100 for a little bit, before heading to bed.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Break The Cycle Of Laziness" in this episode, Jim Rohn talks about overcoming laziness and how to overcome the laziness cycle. Remember, do something today that your future self will thank you for.

This morning, during drive, we finished listening to "How to Actually Burn Body Fat and Lose Weight" an interview with Shawn Stevenson, on Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Shawn Stevenson is a bestselling author, science educator, and host of ‘The Model Health Show’. During this interview, they set out to explore why you need to break past the conventional thinking that only calories matter and start listening to your body so that you can eat smarter and live healthier. They discuss how we truly burn fat off our bodies, how our body’s hormones are affected by the food we eat, why Shawn leads with kindness when discussing fat loss, the importance of the food we eat, why you need to go beyond just counting calories, how to adjust your diet by listening to your body, how to improve your microbiome and much more. We heard them discuss how to know what you should be eating for your unique body, why we need to demand change from the food industry, and the foods to eat to boost your consumption of healthy fats. Today is a half-day for our girls, so we had to hustle and bustle in order to get to all of our needed destinations in enough time, so we wouldn't be late when picking them up. Luckily, we finished everything in the nick of time and now I have some added Omega 3's to include in my diet. Shoot, I have been missing so many vitamins, I wonder if that has anything to do with my ability to shed pounds... ones my doctor never bothers to check for, sigh. #TheMoreYouKnow

Today, we have a few teachers to virtually meet with, in order to discuss our eldest... sigh.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Minor trigger, got through it as best as I could.

#Video
The Power That Comes With Learning To Love Your Fate

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DAY 1146: 03/20/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, we talked and both of us apologized for our own faults (for an incident earlier in the day). I am glad we are at a point where we can talk, take accountability and move forward, instead of harboring and growing resentment in our own silence. Then, he gave me a lovely trifecta, which got me really relaxed and sleepy lol. However, we still watched a little TV. We shared a funny moment when I pointed out that he is now more interested in watching these shows, than the one geeky show he had been waiting for, forever! haha.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Quick And Easy Mindfulness Exercise For Immediate Help With Anxiety" in this episode, we get a Quick And Easy Mindfulness Exercise For Immediate Help With Anxiety. Remember, you can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf.

This morning, during our walk, we listened to "How to Handle Feeling Inadequate When You Make Less Money in a Relationship" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss what to do if your partner earns more money than you. After watching this episode, you’ll know two questions you should ask when your partner earns more than you. You’ll understand how to communicate your feelings to your partner without attacking them and what to do when your partner values you for earning more money. You’ll also learn how to talk to your partner if you feel less because they earn more and why it’s essential to talk about how your partner makes you feel. Both of us believe that your state of mind/how you perceive yourself/the current situation will always set the mood for your reality. So, in the case they presented, if the husband is ashamed that his wife is the breadwinner, he might be taking more offense to his wife's words/actions during those times, because he is already depressed and feeling inadequate. It was way too cold to walk outside too much, but I am glad we got some steps in.

In a few hours, his parents are coming over, I hope everything stays calm and not too loud, I don't want to feel like my head is full of air by tonight. Especially if his parents bring up Keto/Carbs and my dad keeps chiming in with his unrequested opinions.


_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Minor trigger, but I worked myself through it.

#Video
Quick Stress & Anxiety Reduction

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DAY 1147: 03/21/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, he gave me his lovely trifecta, during we got to rant a bit about our lunch/dinner with our parents, which gives us both a lot of mental releases. This led to a more intimate and sensual session, pleading the fifth from this point on. We found a little time to watch some TV before turning it in.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How Hitting Rock Bottom Can Save Your Life" in this episode, Jordan Belfort in his own words explaining how hitting rock bottom can save your life. Remember, sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough.

This morning, we listened to "Signs Its Over" an interview with Stephan Speaks, on Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. Stephan Labossiere, a.k.a Stephan Speaks, is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, & Bestselling Author. During this interview, they explore three common reasons why most women settle for an unfulfilling relationship. Stephan explains the bad advice that makes most people stay in relationships they don't belong in. Furthermore, Stephan shares the fundamentals that every successful relationship needs and why a connection isn't built, how to know whether you're listening to your fear or intuition. He explains why couples lose attraction and how to recreate attraction if you feel it's gone and what to do if your partner has changed in a negative way and how to differentiate tough times with when it's time to break up with your partner. Overall it was a good one, we enjoyed it and found a lot to talk about. Once he got to the end and started talking about "knowing what you want out of a partner" and how he wants a woman who always looks her best and strives for it 'for her man', basically a high maintenance chick, both of us were a little shocked by that. That kind of thinking, especially from a love expert is insane. Talk about holding your partner to unsustainable expectations, standards, and pressure! yikes!

Now, Wade is going for his nap, after it's my turn to get a shot.


_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers this morning.

#Video
Quick Stress & Anxiety Reduction

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DAY 1148: 03/22/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Double-checking our Tax Return.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, I am grateful Wade was still able to give me the trifecta, he navigated a lot to avoid my sore arm! then we watched some TV before it was time for "bed" and he left for work. Unfortunately, there was not much sleep to be had, story of my life lol.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Stop Feeling Tired In The Morning" in this episode, we learn about how to stop feeling tired in the morning when you first wake up. Remember, the best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.

This morning, we couldn't walk because Wade was held up. I was kind of looking forward to it because I didn't think I could workout with my arm like this, not complaining because I'm grateful that I got my first dose. So, in a panic that I won't exercise much today, I did a few workouts that weren't too arm intensive, which was not too smart, because now my arm will be sore... but so will my hips, legs, and butt LOL. Today I am going to take it easy, well going forward.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Still got a few steps in.

#Video
How To Stay Positive When Things Go Wrong

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DAY 1149: 03/23/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) YouTube.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, after a trifecta, we went to continue analyzing the craziness of '90 Day Fiance'. I was tired, so I went to bed earlier, he watched his shows until he had to leave for work.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Start A New Life After Losing Everything" in this episode, Dr. Paul from Live on Purpose TV talks with us about How to start a new life after losing everything. Remember, every day you're fortunate enough to wake up is the first day of a brand new life.

This morning, Wade didn't message me, like I had asked him to, in order to let me know what the plan was for this morning. I have a whole system and routine setup and he knows that, so I dressed for indoor walking, as it was too cold to walk outside. Then I went to grab my pre-workout, but it was not there, so I had to grab my fiber-filled bottle and mix it in with that, which sucks because I don't know what kind of reaction my gut would have. He usually sets it up for me at night, so that way I don't have a warm drink or make noise in the kitchen (so I don't wake our little one). However, he must have been too distracted with his tv show to remember to do this. As grateful as I am when he does it, I think I'll be doing it myself from now on, just to ensure this does not happen again. I like order, I'm weird like that and when I am thrown out of order I lose my shit. ANYWAY, so we did not end up walking, I ended up doing fewer steps than I had planned for today because by the time I wanted to go do another, it was time to get the girls ready for their day and no time was left for myself. Then, after getting them situated, I finished listening to a very informative, but monotone video of Shawn Stevenson talking about all things microbiome/fat loss on his podcast, "Understand This To STAY HEALTHY Until You're 105!" in this video we learn what influence bacteria can have on calorie absorption, what percentage of the human genome is comprised of viruses, the role the vagus nerve plays in the gut-brain connection, how pesticides can damage the microbiome, why the gut is referred to as the second brain, the reason why so many toxic substances are allowed in our food system, what the leading cause of hypertension is, how the overuse of antibiotics can damage the microbiome, specific negative impacts that sugar has on the gut, the number one way to increase your microbiome diversity, real food sources of prebiotics you can incorporate to support your microbiome, the role that resistant starch plays in gut health, why eating seasonally can have a positive impact on your health, and probiotic foods you can add into your diet. His video informed me of a few other things I could add to my diet to possibly help with my stalemate 'weight loss' journey.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
How I figured out to take my own body shots.

#Video
Starting Life Over After Losing Everything

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DAY 1150: 03/24/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, we had a peaceful evening, which is exactly what I needed. During the trifecta, it was all about the feelings and calming sounds, no talking, ranting, etc. My brain needed to decompress. Afterward, we finished 90 Day Fiance and had a fun time analyzing these poor souls. Shortly after I went to "bed" and he left for work. I barely slept, again.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Clearing Up Misconceptions About Blocking Out The Haters" in this episode, Freddy Fri gives us a few tips that will help when it comes to blocking out haters. Remember, there will be haters, there will be doubters, there will be non-believers, and then there will be you proving them wrong.

This morning, during our walk, we listened to "How to Feel Secure in Your Relationship" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss how to pursue ambitious goals without neglecting each other. After watching this episode, you’ll know how to communicate being ambitious to your partner. You’ll learn how Tom makes sure Lisa doesn’t feel neglected while he’s chasing big goals. Lisa shares the fundamental question she asks herself that helps her not feeling neglected and much more. This one opened up a conversation about our earlier incident, we still don't see eye to eye though. We stopped by the store and picked up some stuff that was recommended by Thomas DeLauer for sleep. At this point, I am desperate and willing to try anything to get more than 2 hours a night.

Today will be a day full of research for various things, Groupons, Rings, Mattresses etc.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers.

#Video
Don't Let Their Hate Stop You

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DAY 1151: 03/25/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, Wade cut his finger, so the trifecta was skipped. We watched and analyzed half of my recorded Married at First Sight episode, which is never a letdown, so much mess and drama to sift through. Then it was time for bed, Wade left for work.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Be More Confident In Yourself" in this episode, we get some great tips on how to be more confident in yourself. Remember, the most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.

This morning, during our walk, we began listening to "Therapist EXPLAINS Why Relationships Fail & How To IMPROVE THEM TODAY" an interview with Nedra Tawwab, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert. She has practiced relationship therapy for 13 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling. Every day she helps people create healthy relationships by teaching them how to implement boundaries. Her philosophy is that a lack of boundaries and assertiveness underlie most relationship issues, and her gift is helping people create healthy relationships with themselves and others. So far, we heard them discuss why is it so hard to set boundaries, what happens when we don’t set boundaries, and why boundaries are the only way to feel at peace. This is a good one, I think we will enjoy the rest of it. Everything was good great, we were even a little playful, had a few laughs until... she walked out of the elevator - the newest neighbor/trigger and my heart sank. All those good feelings and thoughts I was in the middle of just vanished and all I could think was: "yup, here we go, another reminder for me, not to get too happy or comfortable because THAT's who he prefers, will always prefer and is probably thinking about how hot she is, right this second". This also makes me really fearful and anxious about whether or not it's worth going out next month to celebrate our 15 year wedding anniversary in public, risking ruining the day/memory with possible triggers being there, or even bumping into any of the ones here in our own building.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Helped my daughter with her last-minute project, as frustrated as I was.

#Video
7 Psychology Tricks to Build Unstoppable Confidence

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DAY 1152: 03/26/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, his hand was still hurting, so we skipped the trifecta. To be honest, after my trigger and sitting with it the whole day, I was planning on telling him we should skip it anyway. These local ones hit me harder than usual because knowing there are next door, trips me up even more. We watched some TV, shared a few laughs and then it was off to bed for me, as he left for work.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Your Words Become Your Reality" in this episode, Joel Osteen explains to us how your words become your reality. Remember, your life will move in the direction of your words.

This morning, during our walk, we continued listening to "Therapist EXPLAINS Why Relationships Fail & How To IMPROVE THEM TODAY" an interview with Nedra Tawwab, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert. She has practiced relationship therapy for 13 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling. Every day she helps people create healthy relationships by teaching them how to implement boundaries. Her philosophy is that a lack of boundaries and assertiveness underlie most relationship issues, and her gift is helping people create healthy relationships with themselves and others. We heard them discuss how to set boundaries for ourselves and what we should do if people in our lives continue to cross our boundaries, the common issue between relationships that don’t work, how much time should we take to heal from a relationship and how can we know when to date again. There were a few triggers at Target, this led us into another conversation about my perspective versus what he says he feels about me versus them. I've written about this multiple times, so I won't go into it again. He was right to assume that I am looking for reasons not to overspend on our anniversary, out of fear of a trigger ruining the evening, so then I will feel at fault for wasting so much money and neither of us having a good time. There's a lot of fear for me and all these thoughts that I can not stop! the shame about is killing me too, that we can not go out because of my issues. Of course, I want to get dolled up, go out and enjoy the good company and food... if ever there was an occasion to celebrate, this would be it. However, the thought of being the one to ruin it all, when there is more certainty and safety to just do it at home, and avoid any possible risk - is causing such a conflict in my head.


_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Triggered a few times, tried to get past them.

#Video
Your Words Become Your Reality

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DAY 1153: 03/27/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

---------------------------------------------------
Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Family.
---------------------------------------------------

Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it felt so damn good, my entire body was feeling out of sorts. Then we watched Falcon and Winter Soldier, which seems more like a buddy comedy than anything else LOL. Then, it was time for bed.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Teaching Mindfulness As A Solution To Some Of Life's Problems" in this episode, we hear about why we should be teaching mindfulness in school as an answer to some of life's problems. Remember, the best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment.

This morning, before we went to the mall with the family, we continued listening to "Therapist EXPLAINS Why Relationships Fail & How To IMPROVE THEM TODAY" an interview with Nedra Tawwab, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert. She has practiced relationship therapy for 13 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling. Every day she helps people create healthy relationships by teaching them how to implement boundaries. Her philosophy is that a lack of boundaries and assertiveness underlie most relationship issues, and her gift is helping people create healthy relationships with themselves and others. We heard them discuss what 3 questions should we ask someone before continuing that relationship to set ourselves up for a successful relationship, how can we argue in an effective way, how to become better communicators in our relationships as communication is the leading cause of divorce, what should we do every week with our partner to grow our relationship, if we grew up in an environment where we couldn’t be open and express feelings, how can we start, and why therapy is important for everyone.

We wanted to go ring shopping, but because stores open so late these days, we had to make it a family affair. At the mall, there were triggers, but I was able to move through them, as difficult as it was juggling all that mentally, especially with the girls there. We were there because Wade and I were picking out new wedding bands, for our 15 year anniversary and I am so pleased with the ring we collectively went with, a process we got our girls involved with. It was a debate of my pick + cost $$ or a good second choice + cheaper, but in the end, there was a $200 difference, Wade told me to just get the one I really want, so we did and I am really happy with it. I'm not big on jewelry, the only pieces I wear are my wedding/engagement ring and the earrings we got on our honeymoon, but I'll be proud to wear this updated wedding band! <3

We had a great lunch, the food was delicious - Wade and myself stuck to our diets, but it didn't feel like it because it was so yummy. Because the girls behaved themselves all day, they both got something special at the end.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Really happy about the ring we picked.

#Video
Why Aren't We Teaching You Mindfulness

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DAY 1154: 03/28/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Drive.
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Last night, we watched a really funny comedy special. A bit later he gave me a lovely muscle-soothing trifecta. Then, we watched some TV before heading to bed.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Take Control Of Your Life One Day At A Time" in this episode, we learn how to take control of your life one day at a time. Remember, don't try to overhaul your life overnight. Focus instead on making one small change at a time. Over time those small changes will add up to big transformations.

This morning, during our drive, we listened to "Before You Love Them, Discover If You Can Trust Them" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss how to know when you should open up and trust someone, how Tom's mindset led to them both being themselves when he first met Lisa, and how to understand your partner's patterns to see if you can trust them, and how you should think when you first met someone to increase the chances of a successful relationship. This topic opened a wider discussion about my own issues, where I trust him completely these days, about everything other than what I believe his 'preferences' are when it comes to women vs me. As I've mentioned countless times before, I want to believe him so bad, but my triggers are intense and me constantly trying to rationalize/compute his past behavior (wants/preferences) vs what he is telling me now, it really difficult to process. Everything he said this morning (as he has been) sounds so good and when I am in an untriggered state, it feels really good too. Ugh, I wish there was a magic pill to take and make it all 'fixed'.

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
No triggers.

#Video
Taking It One Day at a Time

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DAY 1155: 03/29/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Morning Walk.
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Last night, after a lovely trifecta, we continued watching "The 100", which has its moments, but this is the last and final season, so we just wanted to finish it. Then, Wade was off to work and I went to bed.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "7 Pieces of Financial Advice For Better Financial Wellness" in this episode, we get 7 pieces of financial advice for better financial wellness. Remember, when it comes to your finances ignorance is not bliss, the less you know the more you pay.

This morning, we listened to "How to Establish if Your Relationship is a Priority" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss how they managed to make their relationship the number one priority while achieving success in other life areas, why knowing your value system is the key to balancing work with your relationship, and how Tom is able to manage both his business and his relationship successfully. They explain why knowing your partner's expectations is essential for a lasting relationship and why communication in relationships can be learned even if it doesn't come naturally to you, and much more. I got triggered rather quickly before we even got to the mall for our walk. He was driving and there was one of his primes walking down the street, then as we got closer to her, he suddenly says "man, the sun is so bright, I can't see anything!" - I found that really triggering, escalating my on-sight trigger even worse. This is not the first time he has done something like this, there were a few more instances, but one I recall vividly was when we were walking on the trail and a prime was running by and he goes "oh man, there's so much fog on my glasses, I can't see a thing!". What those little comments tell me is that he has seen someone he finds really hot, and he either slipped or really wanted to look, but because he knew I was there and would get triggered he tried to confuse me by trying to plant a different story in my head. For instance, so my thoughts would be, "I know he wants to look at her, he wants someone like her, but wait, he said his vision was compromised, what a miracle! and just in the nick of time' he wasn't able to see her! phew!". Like, c'mon, really, I am not that stupid. Anyway, I tried to bring myself back through breathing exercises as we listened, so I could still walk and continue listening without completely losing my shit and ruining the rest of the day. It was more challenging than usual, because of his remarks during the trigger, every time I brought myself down, I would hear his words again, reminding myself of why he wanted to deflect in the first place and I would frustrate myself all over again. All of this is so tiring.

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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Worked out, through pain.

#Video
7 Pieces of Financial Advice That Changed My Life Forever

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DAY 1156: 03/30/2021

DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:

• My husband has been honest with me. ✓
  
• Daily talk with my husband. ✓
• Worked on Self-Care as defined here. ✓
  
• Currently Reading: Various
• Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"

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Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

What is "TRIFECTA"?
Back, Hand & Foot Massage.

3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
1) Self-care.
2) Healing.
3) Distractions.
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Last night, he gave me a soothing trifecta. Afterward, we watched some TV before it was time for him to go to work and for me to go to bed. As he was getting ready for work, he put on a dressy shirt, aka a date night type of shirt. I found it odd, especially after his gaslighting, on top of a trigger that morning. I know he loves getting compliments from people at work, so when he decided to go 'extra', especially today, I got re-triggered, as it made me wonder what exactly his goal was for today, where his head is at? he says he didn't think it was a dressy shirt, that I didn't complain when he wore other button-downs, but it's obvious which shirt looks business casual versus going on a date/want to impress someone. Somehow this conversation turned into one about me and how he is upset/guilty that I don't like compliments and don't know how to accept them. I won't go into all that, but it was really frustrating, especially right before I was supposed to be bringing my heart rate down and going to sleep.

Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Easy Tips On How To Stop Worrying About Everything" in this episode, we get some easy tips on how to stop worrying about everything. Remember, worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace.

This morning, our eldest had to take a specialized test, so Wade and I couldn't walk, I may have over-done it with my workouts though, but I need to do it, otherwise, I'll be sedentary all day, especially in my current mood. Wade, tells me that once he arrives to let our eldest know to come downstairs so they could leave right away. However, after always sending me messages about how much he can’t wait to get home and hug me, how he misses me, etc., today when he would have over 20-25 minutes, he wants to sit in the car instead of coming upstairs for that time, to just 'hug' me or say hello before leaving for another few hours. I guess his tv shows (or whatever else he rather do) was something he wanted to spend more time doing. He of course said ‘no, that was not my intention’ ‘I wanted to make sure we get to the place on to etc.,’ but he still had all that free time, when he was still fresh in recovery he wouldn't even think twice about coming up, things have changed I guess. Or maybe this is still aftereffects of him seeing one of his primes and that's where his head is at? who knows, I guess I will never. My thoughts and feelings are all jumbled, all I know is that between this mess, our two girls, and their issues > I am at my breaking point, yet again, it feels like the walls are closing in on me.

My mom came over, which means she will sit here until Wade comes home. She had me calling doctors and pharmacies, then she sat down and just kept talking about random stuff, pointing out how my eldest has changed and what's wrong with her, etc, which I know, and being reminded just annoys me more. My weight isn't coming off either, as difficult as I am trying: low carb and exercising, a lot. Shit just keeps piling on and on and on, I am overwhelmed, stressed, and losing it at this point.


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For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
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What I liked about myself, today:
(I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
Did a lot more workouts than I intended to originally.

#Video
HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING

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