Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Jagliana, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I'd like to point out that this is under the minimum for Flag Amount for requirements for PayPal and other companies for liabilities (IE on scams ) and other factors, making you the "client" liable.
    If you are paying every month .. This is considered Too Low Ball of a amount to get a refund unless you have actual damaged equipment or a contract.
    Sorry
    Be safe out there guys.
     
  2. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    And they don't have to be a business, the transfer can occur between two people like on zelle or by accident and it's still "too low" even of its every month because of a faulty button click or something and you would still be considered responsible and money could be lost.


    However if they are running it LIKE a business treat it like a business and complain.
    But sense that didn't work, you really have two options.
    Retract your business, or take to Facebook and warn others.
    I feel like FB is a bit tasteless... But if they aren't listening....
    Maybe reach out to ashlyn?
    Although I don't know of a partner to this day who has any sway of her husband.
    However... Maybe he is skipping group and she legit doesn't know? And that actually IS helpful.
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2019
  3. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

    Mentoring a d coaching can be used interchangeably and on their other site they say they are marriage coaches.... so.... yeah. If you plan to help others in a professional capacity (i.e. exchange service for money) then it's a business.... they are offering and you are paying.... so they really should be more professional about it given they've taken the time to put out some good content and I assume try to build a base of people who follow them....
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  4. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I love that you are looking too... I've been searching for the terms and conditions! Hahaha
     
    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 likes this.
  5. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

    @Kenzi they have a privacy policy that's it.... I went and did a deep search on all their sites and I was so shocked to find no terms and conditions......
     
  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    We don't want a refund, he liked the live groups and appreciated the others guys input, etc., but we refuse to pay for access to "Coby's mentoring" -- when really, he drops the ball on the "mentoring" part.

    I can start a group and charge guys that amount, create a group text and call it a group too LOL, undercut him and charge $150 per month. :rolleyes:

    But in all honesty, I created that Discord group for the Betrayed to chat in, for free, this was practically the same thing - just minus the live session once a week (when it happened).
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  7. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    In all honesty the reason NoFap is so great is because for $150, $175 or hell even $100 .. It's all too much.
    Why pay if people keep relapsing?
    The ability to understand that your relapse is a choice once you understand your addicted is free.
     
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Exactly~ people signing up for "Coby's mentoring group" are assuming for that money, they get Coby as a mentor/guide, etc., but that is not what it turns out to be, with the exception of the zoom meeting once a week, even with that he bailed on them one week, guys couldn't log in because there was no 'host' account running the call, he never let them know he would be on vacation that week - no reschedule or makeup either. It was super disappointing.
     
  9. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    :(
    Sadness
     
  10. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 462:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Walk and Talk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched Game of Thrones, it's awesome that now the episodes are an hour and a half, but it sucks to know that it is because this is the last season. It kind of feels like they are squeezing a little too much into each episode, I think they could have easily had a season 9 and stretched the story out a little more. He gave me a nice foot rub, I love those, I don't know what he does but I feel my brain twitching lol.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Self Discipline Training: How to Be More Self Disciplined”, in this episode, Evan Carmichael gives us 7 great tips on how to be more self-disciplined. His 7 tips are 1) Create a morning routine, 2) Create a regular schedule, 3) Track your progress, 4) Commit to someone else, 5) Have a Big Why and Little Whys, 6) Have a designated place to work and 7) Do something you love. Remember, we all suffer one of two pains. Either the pain of developing self-discipline or the pain associated with not having it.

    This morning, we walked our usual trail out in nature. We listened to an episode of Rob Weiss's podcast "Celebrating Community, Opening Dialogue and Changing the Game" his featured guest was Dr. James Wadley who is an Associate Professor and Director of the Master of Human Services program at The Lincoln University and licensed professional counselor in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. He is the founding editor of the scholarly, interdisciplinary journal, the Journal of Black Sexuality and Relationships (University of Nebraska Press). Dr. Wadley talks with Rob about ways to improve the current structure so everyone feels welcome and deserving to be part of whatever it is that will serve them towards their health. He and Rob also discuss the ways that African American communities are typically underserved when it comes to mental health and addiction programs, especially sexual addiction, what they are doing to help minorities step out of the shadows of addiction and into the light of healing and hope. Although it wasn't necessarily directly related to us, we still found a few topics to explore during this podcast. We also talked about trust and priority again, what it really means and how his selfish tendencies and when he acts out in inconsiderate ways, how it may have a much deeper impact on me than I originally assumed.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Loving this new lipstick color on me.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    7 Ways to Become More DISCIPLINED



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    kropo82 and hope4healing like this.
  11. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 463:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Walk and Talk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I caught a cold from my daughter, so I felt like shit. Wade held me for a little and then we went to watch some TV. My brain was not functioning, I felt drained and rundown. I hate being sick, it is the worst. He told me that he can see and understands that I'm "blah" because of illness, but for some reason, he still feels shame coming over him as if he did something wrong to cause me to be like this. I assured him that, no, I just feel like a steaming pile of :emoji_poop:.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Thoughts Become Words, Words Become Reality”, in this episode, we learn about how our thoughts become words, then those words become our reality. Remember, what you think - you become. What you feel - you attract. What you imagine - you create.

    This morning, even though I felt like crap, I still wanted to go for our walk. So we drove down to the mall and listened to Relationship Theory's episode: "Igniting Romance With Small Gestures". It was a good one, with a lot of interesting points - very relatable to me personally. I was never one for grandiose gestures or romantic escapes, big surprises, etc., I prefer something small but thoughtful, where the quality of the thought counts more than the amount spent. Their whole point is that if your partner is your priority and you have the type of connection, where you can be honest - you can let each other know what you like/want, which would make it easier for the other person, no guessing or tests, just love and making each other happy -- in the ways each of you prefer.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Got my walk in, even though I felt rundown.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    Oprah Winfrey: Take Care of Yourself



    #Relationships
    Relationship Theory: Igniting Romance With Small Gestures



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    hope4healing and Wade W. Wilson like this.
  12. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 464:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Family meal.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I was still feeling sick, so we didn't talk much. We laid together for a little as he told me about his BAE "Shattered to Thriving" course, this week it was about fears, triggers and moving forward. He said that they went over various points, including the difference between triggers for the SO versus triggers for the PA. Triggers come from fear and in order to remove yourself from that trigger, you need to ground yourself, in my case I use music. He said it was a lot like one of their podcasts, just more detailed with a live Q&A at the end. We also revisited the Relationship Theory video we watched and spoke about the similarities Tom and I have, compared to him and Lisa - when it comes to going above and beyond when it comes to food prep, etc. Then I vent a bit about the headache I was left with from my dad, who can talk without coming up for air, for hours. Afterward, we went to watch OA on Netflix, another good show.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Letting Go Of Past Hurts”, in this episode, we hear an inspiring message from Les Brown on letting go of past hurts, so we can grow into who we want to be. Remember, every minute you're angry costs you 60 seconds of your happiness.

    This morning, we did not have a chance to walk and talk. It's my mom's 65th birthday, so we went to the SS office to register her for Medicare, now that she is of age. So, it was a bunch of mundane paperwork stuff, Wade drove us, so he was stuck in the waiting room with my dad the whole time lol. Then we got home and got some cleaning in, he continued and I went to take a nap because I slept horribly the night before. Once the kids were back from school we ordered in and celebrated my mom's birthday, it was small but nice. Back in the day, we would have had like 20 people but not anymore, so many things have changed, sigh. I wish I had the means to through her a huge surprise party, but unfortunately, I do not, but she loves being around the girls, so I am sure she was happy with it as it was.

    Now I'm listening to funny YouTube music videos (parodies) with my little one, waiting for the clock to strike 8 pm, so we can get the bedtime routine going, so I can have some peace and silence.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Loved how my new yoga pants fit and looked on me today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    Focus On Yourself And Not Others?



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  13. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 465:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Meal Choice/Surprise by Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we listened to/watched Relationship Theory's "Leveraging Alpha and Beta Roles in Your Partnership" which was a very informative discussion between Tom and Lisa, especially in terms of triggers and how emotional "highjacking" works for him and her. They also go into how to have healthy arguments, how to assign alpha and beta roles, but not in the way society assumes them to be. Wade and I found the whole video great, Lisa gets emotionally highjacked in the same way that I do, probably in the same way that most SO's do - where she cannot think rationally until she finds a distraction and calms down enough to revisit and go through it rationally, while Tom has somehow learned how to instantly take himself out of the highjacking, by forcing his brain into another mode by mimicking the mood he rather be in, like thinking about himself smiling or going into the bathroom and laughing out loud. I also wanted to thank Wade, I've been sick and really run down, he washed my hair and brushed it yesterday, without me asking, he actually wanted to do it and I really appreciated that it made me feel loved.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “6 Mindset Shifts That Will Make You More Magnetic”, in this episode, you get 6 mindset shifts that will help make you more magnetic in social settings. The six mindsets to shift are 1. No matter what, I will be okay | 2. I care more about my character than my reputation | 3. I have impeccable honesty and integrity | 4. I don't need to convince anyone of anything | 5. I share my purpose proactively | and 6. I go there first, to humanizing the interaction. Remember, become the type of energy that no matter where you go, or where you are, you always add value to the spaces and lives of those around you.

    This morning, Wade's vacation ended and he had to go into work, so I walked alone, even though it was a bit cold and I'm still sick, I bundled up and was on my way. I listened to a few podcasts, one was 'Something You Should Know', "Great Life Hacks & Why Conversations Get So Nasty" which was interesting specifically because I'm a fan of fun facts and life hacks, so this one did not disappoint. Let's be real who couldn’t use some great life hacks? David Pogue author of Pogue’s Basics: Life, is the first guest and he gives us some great hacks to improve your life. Like, do you know the pinhole-finger trick for seeing without glasses? or do you know how to get the last dregs of ketchup out of the bottle—in one second? it's all in there. Then I listened to 'Nobody Told Me', "Ben Zorn: ...the basics of fitness" Ben Zorn is a fitness expert, personal trainer and founder of Zorn Fitness - he discusses health, nutrition, how to work out properly, diets, fads, what works or doesn't. I enjoyed this one too and I want to relisten to it with Wade because he is into working out and I think he could benefit from hearing some of the pointers discussed here.

    Wade got back from work, I had asked him to pick something up for me for lunch, he got me Spanish food - which is my comfort food. He knew exactly what to get me in order to please my rumbling tummy and sick self LOL. The only downside is, I will probably gain some weight from this last week of eating like a pig, sigh. Well, feels good in the moment, I guess I'll through myself a pity party about it when I'm all better hahaha.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No matter how rundown I felt, I motivated myself to walk.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    6 Mindsets That Will Make You Magnetic



    #Relationships
    Relationship Theory on Leveraging Alpha and Beta Roles in Your Partnership



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 466:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid for a little bit, I was severely drained. I lost hearing in one ear, it feels waterlogged and muffled. After dropping the kids off, my parents stayed for 3 hours, knowing how sick I was, I kept saying I had a headache, but they still stayed and my dad talked and complained without coming up for air. Of course, by the time they left I was mentally, emotionally and physically depleted. We spoke about the book he is reading (Terry Crews) and then about how I need to set up boundaries with my parents, which actually irritated me further since it is just unrealistic. Then we watched some TV and he left for work. I know I am sick and this affects it, but I'm really starting to feel the disconnect that we just started to get back towards the end of his vacation, dwindling away again, which sucks.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Ending An Unhealthy Relationship”, in this episode, Brendon Burchard talks about what is often a difficult topic to discuss, that is ending an unhealthy relationship. Remember, an immature relationship starts with I Love You and ends with screw you! A mature relationship starts with I love you and ends with Thank You.

    This morning, we had a disagreement about a text from last night. He sees it his way that he was just busy and caught up with stuff and saw the message late, but I see it my way, as in - I'm not his priority, not really, as soon as he leaves the house, I'm "outta sight, outta mind". He just doesn't get it, he thinks he does, but I don't really believe that he actually understands my interpretation of how 'chain of events' should occur if someone is your priority. He left me a cute sticky note, once I got in bed and saw it, I sent him a thank you and did not hear back. One would think, he would be curious "hmm, has she seen my note yet?" if I didn't respond by a certain point, like when he just got to work, but he did not, his mind was already on other things, as usual. Unless of course, leaving those notes are a form of 'checking boxes', then my responses wouldn't matter (having anticipation). Anyhow, then we listened to the podcast 'Nobody Told Me', "Ben Zorn: ...the basics of fitness" Ben Zorn is a fitness expert, personal trainer and founder of Zorn Fitness - he discusses health, nutrition, how to work out properly, diets, fads, what works or doesn't. I listened to it myself yesterday, but I figured this would be information Wade would appreciate and it would be a nice change of pace from the usual stuff we listen to.

    Once we got home, before he left for bed, he reiterated just how grateful he was to have me in his life and for this past year. He has been reading Terry Crews book, which includes a lot of self-reflection and he has been finding a lot of similarities and things he recognizes within himself. He is happy that he is now aware and changing, compared the depressing life he and I, led for 12 years prior.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Half-deaf, still pulling through.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    When to Quit on Someone (or Leave a Bad Relationship!)



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  15. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 467:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Hard talks that lead to connection.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched some Supernatural and he gave me a nice foot rub, trying to do some reflexology to open up the sinuses, it actually does work, offers me some much-needed relief. Once we were both on the couch, we continued watching and then he turned it off and said he wanted to go cuddle in bed. It's still strange for me to hear him ask for these intimate/sensual (but not) sexual things, it never used to be a 'thing' for him, but it does feel good. While in bed, I asked him if he had anything on his mind and he said yes, the stuff from this morning, so we spoke about it. Then when he was getting ready to leave for work, he asked me the very same question, to which I replied, the same issue, that I still do not think he truly grasps the issue I had with this whole situation and what it meant for me. We had to cut it short because he had to leave.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Developing A Growth Mindset”, in this episode, we get 5 steps to developing a growth mindset from our friend Sunny Lenarduzzi. The 5 steps are 1) identifying and rewriting your story, 2) visualization, 3) curate your surroundings, 4) say no to say yes and 5) "the proud list" aka gratitude journal. She breaks each one down in full detail in the podcast/video, but there is a direct link to her written blog about it here. Remember, there is a difference between not knowing and not knowing yet.

    This morning, when I woke up I had a few texts from him saying that our talk the night before did not sit right with him and he wanted to talk about it. When we went for our walk, we discussed why the issue wasn't sitting right with him. How after reading Terry's book some more and continued thought, he realized what I was trying to express and that's the main point, that how I perceived it and felt about it is, my truth and is how I feel, meaning if I believe him, based on his actions, that I am his priority - in the same way, that he is mine. Then we had a talk about his nature, how his dad is like that too, how he grew up in the selfish kind of environment. At home, he read a little more of Terry's book and got to a part where Mr. Crews talks about how his wife stayed when she had all the reasons in the world to leave and that reminded Wade of me and our situation, which choked him up a bit.

    When he woke up, we decided to take advantage of the nice weather and take the girls out to the park, then stopped by and had dinner out, together - it was a nice time, family time.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: The color my hair has become is looking pretty cool.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    5 Steps to Developing a Growth Mindset!



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  16. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 468:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Family.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we cuddled for a bit, my cold is still here and my ear has been congested, clogged and my hearing muffled. I feel like my left ear has swimmers ear, just without going swimming. Wade wants me to see a doctor, but I'm hoping it goes away on its own. Then we went to watch some Supernatural and he was off to work shortly after.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Principle of Reaping What You Sow In Modern Society”, in this episode, we discuss the principle of reaping what you sow in modern society. Remember, a person with enough reasons can accomplish just about anything.

    This morning, we went to go see that doctor, so I have a packaged deal, a middle ear, and upper respiratory infection, woohoo, happy mother's day to me. On the way there Wade played a TedTalk that was interesting, from a former sex worker, putting a different spin on the workers and men who come to see them - "What a sex worker can teach us about human connection". Then we went to do our weekly grocery run and for a morning, it was packed, I guess due to the holiday. There were a few triggers there, I think Wade slipped with her, even though she was a butterface, she has his 'dream ass'. Anyway, shortly after he apologized that I keep going through these triggers and that no place is safe for me, he was sorry that his actions over the years led me to this. I appreciate his remorse and empathy, much better than defensiveness or gaslighting.

    Later in the day, we had a small celebration for Mother's Day, pizza and a movie, the original plan was to do a BBQ but the weather was shit. Wade did not get me flowers, which was a good thing, as I've been telling him for years not to waste money on them. He created a custom Mother's Day mug for me, with a photo collage of the girls and himself, it was beautiful and I loved it. The kiddos gave me a bunch of art and creations too, it was sweet.

    I hope everyone is having a good Mother's Day!~

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Felt so much love from Wade and my girls today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Jim Rohn: If I Can Do It…Anybody Can!



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson and hope4healing like this.
  17. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 469:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) My husband.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me a really nice Mother's Day edition back rub, I've been so sick and out of it, this helped a lot. As he did that we started listening to "Relationship Theory on Finding the Right Time For Hard Conversations" which was a great discussion about various ways couples can approach having difficult conversations, especially when they are busy people. Both Tom and Lisa agree, and so do we, that having this freedom of an open line between each other, has been one of the best things to happen to us. No matter what, all couples should strive to reach a point where they can talk to each other, about anything and everything. Then we stopped the video, moved to the living room to watch some Supernatural and enjoyed our connection until he had to head out to work. ** Side point, we were in our own little connected world so much, that both of us completely spaced out that it was GoT night and we missed the episode!! both of us were shocked!

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Amazing Power of I Am”, in this episode, we hear an inspiring message about the amazing power of "I am". Remember, what follows your I am will always come looking for you.

    This morning, we drove down to the mall, so we could do a quick round (power walk) and finished listening to "Relationship Theory on Finding the Right Time For Hard Conversations" and spoke a bit about some of the segments in the video. Then my dad had a doctors appointment, but I've been really feeling like crap and I know for a fact, if I took him and had to listen to him for 2 hours, I would have been completely run down by the end of that trip and out of it, for the rest of the day. Wade worked all night but is off tonight, so he stepped it up today and offered to take my dad so I can have a break at home. I am really appreciative about it, him taking 'the hit' for me, as tired as he was, that showed me that he put me first today, ahead of his own tiredness. Although, as soon as I sat down, my mom came over with paperwork for me to do, when she knows I am currently half-deaf, my head is pounding and I just want to rest. After I was done with the paperwork, I thought she would go back home so I could [relax] watch some TV or whatever, but nope, she sat and silently stared at me, as I worked on my PC - until Wade and my dad were back from the appointment. Look, I love both of my parents to death and I am grateful for everything they've done for me and my family, but ever since my dad retired and they moved next door, it has felt like they rely on me for everything from secretarial duties to entertainment services, etc., it's becoming too much, overwhelming and the frustrating part is they did so much for Wade and me over the years as we were 'growing' as a new family, that setting boundaries would backfire on us now and they would guilt the shit out of me, anything I mention always brings out the "daddy would never say no to you when you needed him!" or they would just take it the wrong way (to the absolute extremes) like 'give us some space' would be taken as 'we never want to see you again, ever'. Anyway, back to my main point, Wade stepping it up for me today really made me feel good and grateful, even if I felt a lot of guilt of him missing sleep over it.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Feeling really connected to Wade.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    THE MAGIC OF CHANGING YOUR THINKING!



    #Relationships
    Relationship Theory on Finding the Right Time For Hard Conversations



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  18. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 470:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Distracting Apps.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we did not talk much, we spoke a bit in the morning. We finally got to the Game of Thrones episode we missed on Sunday, both of us are feeling kind of, meh about it.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How to Develop Self Confidence”, in this episode, performance expert Ed Mylett talks about how to develop self-confidence. Remember, you're going to get out of your life what you accept.

    This morning, we dropped the girls off at school and then went to the mall for a quick walk. On the drive there we began listening to "Brené Brown: Create True Belonging and Heal the World with Lewis Howes", Wade already listened to it before but wanted to relisten to it with me so we could discuss it. We only got about 20 minutes in, between all of the pausing and talking, before it was time to make it to our movie. Everything started out good this morning, but south, at the movie concessions there was a young woman cashier wearing a Spiderman t-shirt, so when it was our turn to order, Wade told her that he loved her shirt, then he asked if they sold them there but he didn't stop there, when she said no he said "can I buy, yours?" and after kept rambling on and on about it. The girl looked really uncomfortable, I got triggered by his behavior because I felt like, even if his intentions were innocent, perception is reality and that whole exchange disrespected me because it looked/felt very flirty. It embarrassed me, made me feel insignificant (not a priority/opposite of yesterday) and like a doormat who allows her 'man' to flirt with other women, right in front of her. I was floored that he stood there giving this random woman more attention than he gave me that morning, even if he really did like the dumb shirt, he didn't think ahead at how his words/behavior could affect me. I think he noticed I was triggered, but when we got to our seats, he apologized and said he realizes how it all looked but he really did like the shirt and nothing else. I told him that I needed some time to distract myself (aka cool off)... somehow he took that to mean: holding my hand and repeating how much he loves my hands, while also muttering under his breath "fuck" from time to time. That made me feel like he was holding my hands and telling me 'sweet nothings' to make up for his earlier behavior and not because he wanted to be connected, it felt forced/fake, I don't like that feeling and it just escalates my trigger. We spoke about this a little on the car ride to Costco, I don't know if he really gets my point, because whenever I ask him to give me time, he usually does the opposite. At Costco, it was packed as usual and there were plenty of triggers there, I was already in a mood so it just irritated me further but I began tunning them out by playing my mobile games. I'm not safe anywhere and that feeling sucks, especially after the last two days, sigh.

    I'm still deaf in one ear, but at least the ringing has stopped. My back is aching again, my feet too, I think it's the antibiotics - they are making what already hurts - hurt more! and I have to take them, for 10 days! ugh.

    Then Wade went in to do this BAE "Module 5: Finding Reconnection", which for some reason takes forever, 2 hrs +, so he gets to sit and listen to them while relaxing (aka playing PC/mobile games), meanwhile I'm in the living room, sick as a dog, getting talked to death by my dad, who is nonstop complaining about all of his ailments. Then I have my four-year-old running up to me every few seconds and asking me random questions, while my eleven-year-old, who is supposed to be "reading", is yapping nonstop too, giving me the play by play about random recipes in her book. It seemed like all three of them were getting louder and louder, talking over each other, in order to be heard. Then I get a text from my brother and an email from his wife asking for me to work on more photos (a "favor") that they need ASAP/tonight, because the last set, the printer could not print due to size/quality, so they send me 6 photos and I was like ummmmm no, I'm doing two and that's it, I don't have the time to sit around and work for free, no matter how many flower and heart emoji's she threw in there, especially since it is for her friends (not even for my brother!) and especially not for people who never answer the call if I ever need something. So, it was bad enough I was triggered today, plus being sick, plus giving Wade time, I had all this other shit flung at me, what a day.

    Tomorrow we have the girl's spring concert, which I know will be a trigger fest for me... I hope I have a calm, relaxing night today...doubtful, but one can hope... otherwise, I think I will implode.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I liked the way my jeans looked today, noticed a lot of others did too, even if Wade didn't.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Jason Silva: Break the Cycle of Fear and Doubt with Lewis Howes

    At around 29 minutes he breaks down anxiety and PTSD.


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  19. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 471:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I apologized to Wade for snapping at him because I reached my boiling point, which rarely happens. Being sick, on so many different drugs for it, all of the noise pollution coming at me all at once from every angle, I was a ticking time bomb and the bomb went off. He wanted to hold me (and I get it) but I told him I just need time to myself, I put on my headphones and grounded myself as much as I possibly could. later that night, he gave me a wonderful back rub and then a foot rub right after, that really helped calm my brain down and stop it from spiraling on and on.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Life Without Limits: Limitations Only Exist In Your Mind”, in this episode, we hear that limitations only exist in your mind. Remember, limitations only exist if you believe they exist.

    This morning, we had the kids Spring Concert, the little ones looked so adorable, the older ones did too but it was obvious that none of them wanted to be there, they should make the cut off 4th grade and not 6th. Going there I was nervous, there's one specific trigger who gets to me every time, but luckily - I did not see her there today #PraisedBe. There were a few other minor triggers here and there, but I was getting distracted by another mom, as we were chatting it up and joking around. Then I had my echo appointment, which Wade took me too, he slept in the waiting room, while I had it done. I was chatting it up with the technician, she was nice and we complained about society as a whole in this day and age, it made the test go by so much faster.

    The rest of the day was pretty simple and laid back, did a little bit of work and tried to keep my stress level down.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: That I was speaking with people when I normally stick to myself and silent.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Brené Brown: Create True Belonging and Heal the World with Lewis Howes



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  20. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 472:

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings /
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Recovery.
    3) Walk and Talk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we had a quick chat, because we didn't have our usual talk in the morning. I had asked him to find a lite movie so we could have a movie night so we can relax, laugh and be mindless, we watched "White Chicks". The movie is old but funny as hell and both of us loved it.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Developing Effective Leadership Skills”, in this episode, Dr. Myles Munroe talks about developing effective leadership skills. Remember, the difference between a leader and a follower is their attitude.

    This morning, we dropped the girls off at school and since the weather was actually, finally, nice today - we walked outdoors. We finished listening to "Brené Brown: Create True Belonging and Heal the World with Lewis Howes", it was a wonderful interview and Brené continued explaining how different the world and especially men would be if they embraced vulnerability as the strength that it is, and not believe the herd mentality that it is a weakness. The truth is, you can never have bravery, courage or strength, without vulnerability. Mrs. Brown incredibly real, humble and inspiring, one of her most thought-provoking comments was "our tolerance for discomfort is zero," and she is 100% correct, that is why our society is where it's at.

    The rest of the day was peaceful, the kids were at school and my parents did not stop by during the day. I was able to finish my work and even finish up some of my shows in my DVR queue. It was good, now my four year old is reading me "stories" she "wrote" and it is so adorable, with her cute little voice, especially because she isn't yelling but speaking softly lol.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Feeling at peace, it felt nice.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    The mentality of a Leader - Dr. Myles Munroe 10 principles of a true Leader



    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    hope4healing likes this.

Share This Page