Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Jagliana, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 660: 11/19/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we decided to make it a movie night, well date night and watch something lighthearted. We watched "Isn't It Romantic" starring Rebel Wilson. It was Wade's idea and it was a great choice, the movie was hilarious and pokes fun at all romantic comedies without being a corny and overly vulgar "spoof" film. He also gave me a foot rub too which made my headache feel better.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “5 Habits That Will Completely Transform Your Life", in this episode, we learn about how developing these 5 habits will help you to completely transform your life. 1) Do what scares you socially, 2) Defining your ideal situation before your realistic situation, 3) Meditation can also help preserve relationships, 4) Cut out even the little white lies, 5) Stop always listening to sad songs and ones that don't bring positivity. Remember, the fears we don't face become our limits.

    This morning, we were relistening to some parts of "Why Mindset Is Everything" an interview with Tom Bilyeu, on the Rich Roll Podcast. Wade wanted to hear some stuff over again. Once we got to the mall for our walk, we tried listening to the Edward Norton interview on the Rich Roll Podcast, but 30 minutes in... for me - it was a snooze fest, so I opted to stop listening, Wade may continue on his own later. So, we just walked around checked out some stores, Wade let me splurge a little on some Christmas decorations and then we finished relistening to Tom interview. We spoke about what he was saying, vented about my parents and a few various things in between too. We had to stop by Costco, there were some triggers there and I think Wade noticed because there was one spot where I was walking, he purposely stopped me to look at something, so she could pass, I did catch that.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Walked today! finally!:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    5 Habits That Will Change Your Life


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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  2. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 661: 11/20/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched the Walking Dead while he gave me a nice foot rub, then followed it with a soothing back rub, again I feel so spoiled. He keeps telling me to stop feeling guilty about it, but I really don't feel I deserve this sort of treatment... getting so spoiled, I don't feel like I do enough to earn it, it's difficult for me to explain what I mean, but I've tried to explain it to him before. Then he had to leave for work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How Emotional Mastery Can Make You Invincible", in this episode, Brendon Burchard talks about how emotional mastery, or mastering your emotions can make you virtually invincible. Remember, it's not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering.

    This morning, Wade had to work, so I walked alone. Initially, I was considering not going because I'm still coming off of a cold, but I decided to just go because it's winter and this is a never-ending saga now. As I walked, I listened to "Why You Need People Who Won't Coddle You" an interview with Chris Colfer, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Chris is best known for his role in the smash-hit television show Glee, but most devoted to his career as a writer of 15 books, he had a bucket list of goals at age 5. And unbelievably, he achieved everything on that bucket list as a writer and singer. In this episode, he talks about drive and ambition, the influence of a grandmother who always believed in him and yet was his harshest critic, and how he overcame bullying from his peers and doubt from an industry that told him he would never succeed. Some key points they discuss are why he likes fantasy, comics, and graphic novels so much (for the same reason I have been a fan since 1992 myself, I so can relate), he describes his drive and ambition, he talks about how much he loved Harry Potter despite being dyslexic, he explains that he does not identify as a victim of bullying anymore, he advocates that adolescence is the toughest time of life, he describes how he dealt with people telling him he couldn’t succeed, he explains how his grandmother being his toughest critic helped him, he talks about the pure joy of escapist fantasy and stimulating imagination, he advocates imagination and magic as creating something out of nothing. Wade was supposed to pick me up, but he ended up getting held up at work, normally I would have just kept walking rounds until he was able to pick me up but it was just way too cold, so I told him I would just walk back. He felt bad about it, I told him it was fine, that it is what it is, it's not his fault, that's his job, so I hope he didn't fill up with too much shame. We both got home at the same time.

    Today, I'm getting a few more things off my plate which feels good. I'm thinking up some new financial goals/plans for 2020.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Convinced myself to walk, no matter my circumstance.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Secrets to Developing Emotional Mastery


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    [​IMG]
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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  3. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 662: 11/21/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade gave me a nice foot rub and followed it up again with a back rub, it feels so good, but I don't do enough to pay him back, I feel.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why We Must Learn To Embrace Failure", in this episode, Freddy Fri Day motivates us to embrace, learn and grow from your failures. Remember, it's true, you can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sail.

    This morning, Wade had PT but rushed through it because he wanted to walk with me this morning. Throughout the night he listened to an interview that he wanted to relisten to with me this morning. So, this morning we listened to "How To Brave the Wilderness" an interview with Brené Brown, on Marie TV with Marie Forleo. This was a good interview, it opened up a lot of interesting conversations for Wade and me. She spoke about her new book, Braving the Wilderness. They focus on belonging, courage, and why we all desperately need to change the way we talk about our enemies aka dehumanizing them. Wade is more in the Brené camp, me, I feel like do onto others as they do onto you, karma my friend... karma. I'm tired of being walked all over, being nice and taken advantage of all the time. My opinion? one must first be human, in order for me to worry about whether or not I'm dehumanizing them... Wade knows who I am referring to. Then we had a little hiccup at Target, as a woman that he would have most definitely ogled before was walking out (in front of us) ...we were behind her, also on our way out, he suddenly stops, turns to me and begins telling me how lucky he is and how beautiful I am. I immediately put 1 + 1 together and that he was trying to distract me from seeing her (but it was too late) and I hate when there is a 'threat' around, someone he would have 110% enjoyed looking at and tries distracting me from her by playing up the "you're so beautiful!!" thing. NOT A FAN of that at all seems so fake and like he is only saying it for that reason and not because he means it. Of course, he denied all of it, he says it was coincidental, he noticed her but didn't think she would trigger me, that he stopped me because he wanted to relay that message to me, at that moment and that's all etc., I don't buy it -- he hadn't mentioned any of that in the whole hour we were there, up until that point and I don't believe in such random coincidences.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Getting back into my regular routine.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Freddy Friday Embrace Failure


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    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  4. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 663: 11/22/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me another foot and back rub, still can't get used to it but I also love it.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Here’s A Simple Goal Setting Guide That Will Help Make Goal Setting Easier", in this episode, we get a simple goal setting guide that will help make setting goals easier. Remember, a goal without a plan is just a wish.

    This morning, the initial plan was to walk, however, things changed. I mentioned to Wade that it was drizzling on and off, when we spoke he made it sound like he didn't want to go to the mall, he thought we were going to go to the supermarket today, etc. Then eventually we decided to go to the mall. On the way to dropping off the kids at school, he began driving and zoning out, missing a turn, yawning, etc., making it clear to me that he was in no condition to drive down to the mall. Then after dropping off the girls, I told him that we should just go to the supermarket and go home after, he argued that he was fine to go to the mall and we had a tiresome back and forth about it, his points and mine. Eventually, I told him to just stop because I was getting more and more irritated, while he was getting more and more emotional. It was difficult for him, he wanted to keep going but he listened to me and stopped. We went to the supermarket and did some shopping, there were some mild triggers there, but nothing too bad. He and I talked a bit there, which helped calm him and he said that our conversation there has helped him move past his feelings/anxiety from our earlier back and forth. Although he still wants to talk about it later, so well will tonight I guess.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: That I was able to stop Wade when I felt myself getting irritated and him being repetitive.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    A Complete Guide to Goal Setting


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    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  5. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 664: 11/23/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, oh man, where do I begin... I thought we'd be having a roundup talk about our morning but that was quickly sidelined after his mother called and ask him to invite his brother (and his family of four) to our small Thanksgiving gathering. Now, having said that -- this does not come as a surprise, as I predicted this would happen in the first place, hence why I told him we probably shouldn't invite them. Inviting them always means... his mom always telling him to invite everyone she wants him to invite, to our house, on our dime... dimes we do not have. To be honest, it's not just the lack of money, it's also always too loud, super chaotic because their kids are wild and they could care less about it - so I'm afraid all my hard work of decorating for the holidays will be destroyed while they laugh it off because 'kids, right!' - and that's not how I want to celebrate a holiday where I'm supposed to be happy, humble and reflect upon how grateful I am. Last year was different, I actually told him I realized it was the first Thanksgiving where I was happy, present and not faking it - this year, I will have to be fake again, so I guess that was a short-lived experience for me. I also noticed that the minute he came to me and told me he just got off the phone with his mom, in my gut, before he told me anything else, I knew what he was able to say and of course, I felt so much emotion and rage bubbling up within me because when it comes to this, I am always proven right and for once, on this occasion, I would have loved to be proven wrong. It would be nice to invite his parents, without them adding their two cents of who else we should invite, just take the invite, say thank you and end of story. That's just never the case, pfft. We talked about all this, he feels guilty for having tunnel vision and inviting them, even when I warned him what inviting them means and now regrets putting me in this position and ruining my mood for the holiday, but no matter how many sorry's he gives me, all I can say is... what he does not like hearing: it is, what it is.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Develop The Strength You Need To Win At Life", in this episode, we listen in as Ed Mylett and Rachel Hollis talk about developing the strength you need to win at life. Remember, you can't win in life if you're losing in your mind.

    This morning, Wade took the little one to the indoor playground and I walked some rounds. I listened to "Stand For Love" an interview with Marianne Williamson, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed lecturer, activist, and author of four bestselling books. In 1989, she founded Project Angel Food, a meals-on-wheels program that serves homebound people with AIDS in the Los Angeles area. Marianne is seeking to harness the power of love to fight the hate she sees in the world. She teaches us to go “all in” for the causes, we believe in while being unattached to the result. Oh and she's running for President in 2020! this was an okay interview, now I know who she is - when I didn't before. During this interview, we learn about Marianne’s philosophy of “The Conscious Samaritan”, why “trickle-down economics” doesn’t work, why people should keep up with the news, the importance of failure, and the reason people attack you when you challenge the status quo. After she was done playing we meet up for a quick lunch before heading home. He began listening to a different School of Greatness interview that I had recommended to him, so we talked about that a little.

    Tonight there was a company party to collect money for the family of his co-worker who committed suicide back in June. I was nervous about going because of all the potential triggers that could be there, he told me before that there wouldn't be too many, then yesterday he tells me there should be like 300-500 people there... so the whole way there I was on pins and needles. All I can think about is that, which completely takes me out of the purpose of the events, I hate it and it sucks. He keeps saying that all he see's is me, he needs no one else because he is grateful for what he has with me... but when I see them, I just can not believe it. Anyway, we got there and of course, there were a lot of triggers there, it was overwhelming and my mood really got shot but I was trying my best to keep it together and not let it be seen outwardly too much. I think he was affected by all of them too... although he said he was only worried about me, I think he had some anxiety for slipping and other issues, like wanting to look but trying not to focus on them. It got to the point where I left half my food on the plate because I connect food with weight gain. Weight gain I associate with being unattractive to him, especially in comparison to all of his primes. When they are around, I'm on high alert and feel like I'm in competition mode, which means I can't eat or I'll feel fat and ugly to him, yeah - it's that bad, especially when there are that many of them around, it just sucks.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Made 3 rounds this morning, really happy about that.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Find Meaning In Your Life


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 665: 11/24/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Family time.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we talked slightly in the car on the way home but I was triggered and was not in the mood for it. Then we just watched some TV, he gave me a nice foot rub and we went to bed shortly after, luckily he was off so it was together.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Live A Ridiculously Amazing Life Without Limits", in this episode, we listen in as Les Brown and Tony Robbins talk about how to live a ridiculously amazing life without limits. Remember, the only limits in your life are the ones you set.

    This morning, we took the girls to see Frozen 2 and wow it was a phenomenal sequel. Definitely a lot more mature, and even better (more meaningful) story. There is so much 'there-there' about facing your fears and learning to love who you truly are. Even our five year old didn't get up from her seat - not once, which she usually does during any movie (cartoon or otherwise) -- she was glued. Wade really like it too, there was a lot of adults will only get it * humor mixed in, definitely worth the watch.

    Tonight we are going to be decorating our place for the holiday season, hopefully, it will help lift the damper his family situation has put on me. Well, his brother declining the invite aka having other plans would make me feel much better, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for that.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Some triggers at the movie theater, but they passed quickly.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    WHEN LIFE BREAKS YOU


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  7. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 666: 11/25/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we spent quite some time ranting about my dad and his aggressive behavior, right fighting and how is it that I turned out the way that I did. Then I told him a little bit about some of the reflections I've had after reading a chapter about PTSD/triggers in The Body Keeps Score. How my rage/anger about his brother coming over was so much more than just potentially ruining all of the decorations. That underneath all of that was my fear of repeating his situational trigger from the last time his entire family was all together. My fear of him getting emotionally wound up and causing a relapse etc. Both of us found the discussion enlightening and educational.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Easy Actionable Tips On How To Make Affirmations Work", in this episode, we get some very useful tips on how to make affirmations work. Remember, if you believe it, you can achieve it.

    This morning, we began listening to "Forgiveness and Choosing Happiness" an interview with Jon Dorenbos, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Jon Dorenbos is a former NFL long snapper. He played for the Buffalo Bills, the Tennessee Titans, and the Philadelphia Eagles. He also has a successful career as a magician. He has appeared on America’s Got Talent and on The Ellen Degeneres Show. So far, Jon opens about the difficult situations he faced in his life, but by choosing happiness, he has come out on top and is living his ‘Rock Star’ life. This is a very heavy interview, he opens up about his childhood trauma... like his father murdering his mother... how an alter-ego will help you get through challenging times, about the power of finding peace during a difficult time and how to practice forgiveness.

    Wade decided to get the girls two guinea pigs, I told him he is doing this to himself LOL, he is a glutton for punishment! but if he is sure he wants to get into that whole mess then sure. I had pets my entire childhood, but I actually played with them, enjoyed them and loved them... our girls, well they are excited for five minutes and then move on. I ordered the cage already, so I'm roped in... we'll be getting the piggies on Monday to surprise them, that will be priceless though. I want to name them myself, but I will let the girls do it, well maybe with a few hints from us aha.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Listening to Wade's compliments in the car today made me feel good and giddy.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How To BRAINWASH Yourself To SUCCEED


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2019
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 667: 11/26/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Shopping.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we decided to have a date night, we watched a bit of Spaceballs (hilarious movie ~ omg) drank some wine and it was nice and lovely... he also gave me a foot rub too, all-star treatment... but my body decided to ruin my moment and be a total asshole by getting insanely tired all of a sudden, to the point where I couldn't keep my eyes opened. So, I told him I would head to bed, but he could stay up and catch up on some of his shows. He said he might feel some shame about it, I told him not to, but I will ask him about it again later.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Les Brown: Showing Up For Life Is The First Step To Winning", in this episode, we get told (reminded) that some days it's OK if all you do is breathe. Because showing up for life every day is half the battle. Remember, some days it's OK if all you do is breathe.

    This morning, we finished listening to "Forgiveness and Choosing Happiness" an interview with Jon Dorenbos, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Jon Dorenbos is a former NFL long snapper who now has a successful career as a magician. It was a powerful, in-depth and interesting interview, definitely worth the listen/watch, but it's a little difficult to listen to due to some of the subjects discussed. I don't know if I would be able to ever move on or forgive anyone for what his father did, Jon is a bigger person than I am.

    We skipped our walk because we wanted to get ahead on our Thanksgiving shopping. We ran some errands, got what we needed, spent the entire morning together and there weren't any triggers; yippee! We spoke on and off about various topics, including the rancid women he used to ogle, and how to me whether he looked for fun, habit or out of sheer boredom - didn't matter because, from my side of it, he was still ignoring me the whole time. So my reality was; if he's looking (no matter at who) that's what he prefers since he sure as hell wasn't looking at me. He said he understood where I was coming from.

    We've also been having a lot of cute back and forths, random stuff really, but it's been really sweet for us both I think.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Les Brown: Self-Discipline Will Make You Unstoppable


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  9. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 668: 11/27/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't talk, he did my nails and I let him pick the color, he did a fantastic job I might add. I really am grateful that he offers to do this for me, I appreciate it so much. Not only does it save money (salon trips), but it also bonds/connects us, I guess because it's 'our thing' and not many other couples (esp husbands) do this... and it seems like he legitimately enjoys doing it and I really enjoy receiving it.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Tony Robbins On What It Means To Live A Truly Abundant Life", in this episode, Tony Robbins talks with us about what it means to live a truly abundant life. Remember, the day you trade expectation for appreciation is the day you'll become wealthy.

    This morning, Wade had to work, so I walked alone. During my walk, I listened to "How to Start Over When You Don’t Know What to Do" an interview with Allison Maslan, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Allison is an American entrepreneur, business mentor, homeopath, and author. She is the executive producer and host of her online television show, Allie & You. In this episode, she talks about how a near-death experience forced her to change her life, the importance of self-care, and the traits necessary for success. During their discussion, we learn what happens when you stop fearing embarrassment, you have to be conscious of change in your life and want it, her advice for people who are in a shitty relationship, how asking for help is smart - it’s not a sign of weakness, why her decisions come down to either a “hell yes” or a “no way”, why is self-care important and a whole lot more.

    I'm glad I got my walk in because as soon as I was done with my shower, my mom waltzed through the door... no phone call to see if I was home, busy, in the shower or whatever - she just opens the door and comes in, like nothing... I was so furious, I am so happy Wade was awake and I had him to rant to, it really helped simmer me down a bit. Then he was thoughtful and got me some yummy lunch which I was happy about it.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I was debating whether to walk or not, but I'm glad I went ahead with it, felt great about myself after.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Warren Buffett's 5/25 Rule Will Help You Focus On The Things That Matter


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2019
  10. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 669: 11/28/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me a back rub while we talked. He got to rant a bit about some new laws that are going into effect in Jan, which will make his job a whole lot worse. Then we spoke about my morning (my turn to rant) and how he is feeling about his family coming over for Thanksgiving. Then we watched some TV before he had to leave for work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Deal With The Fear of Rejection", in this episode, Freddy Fri Day, explains that we should never let the pain of rejection break us! we have success embedded inside, so never let anyone make you feel like you are not worthy! Remember, I believe that rejection is a blessing because it's the Universe's way of telling you there is something better out there.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!~ remember to be grateful every day, not just today!

    This morning, during our walk, we talked about "Russell Brand in conversation with Dr. Drew Pinsky" a live Q&A at Live Talks Los Angeles. I had watched it earlier and told him to give it a listen because I really enjoyed it. He watched it overnight and by morning he was very excited to talk to me about it. There were so many good points that were brought up, how important connection is with just one other person is, how the person who is helping the addict in recovery must do his or her part and not just be a bystander, but actually support, point things out and confront them when needed... two really awesome points that really got to me was Dr. Drews breakdown of happiness versus pleasure: "let me let me just put a little finer point on the happiness versus pleasure thing what I said was that I feel very strongly that we're confused about happiness in this country and we're interested in pleasure and what's called hedonic happiness as opposed to what really makes us fulfill which is eudaimonic happiness, Aristotle had this idea about the purpose of human existence is something called eudaimonia and people have argued about how it should be translated. It was originally translated as happiness but in recent years has been translated as flourishing. Flourishing is really thought to be the reason for human existence; well what is flourishing? well it's not heroin, it's not cocaine, it's not new boots... that will give you pleasure that's a certain kind of happiness but it's very fleeting, it needs more all the time, it's very addictive as opposed to - eudaimonic happiness which is what recovery is about. Which is about being whole and regulated and really ultimately they find that being of service to others, being present with others is how you find eudaimonic happiness. But to actually achieve eudaimonia you have to have some skills, he called that technique, you have to have some wisdom, he called that phronesis and you had to have some capacity, something you trained to do to make the difference, to really contribute in a way that would make you eudaimonically whole." and also what Russell said when he was addressing addicts... "One thing I am absolutely certain about is the accuracy of this word; "recovery", is that you recover the person you were meant to be, that there is an intention on a biochemical biological level, the same way as there would be of a tree barring a negative incident and disease, the tree won't flourish, it will become the thing it was intended. Impediment, impairment, intoxication will prevent this it will prevent the intended journey from being experienced".

    This evening his entire family is coming over for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm on pins and needles, I don't know what to expect in the aftermath and to be honest, this is not how I wanted to spend my Thanksgiving at all. I wanted to have a small family dinner, with just us and have it calm, peaceful and stress-free, a repeat of last year. Wade wanted to invite his parents and I told him that by doing so, they will insist on him inviting his brother too (and the brother's family too). He said it's fine and now we are here... he told me he was feeling anxious last night, I've been anxious all week and today most of all. I don't know how it will go, what I do know is it will be loud, chaotic and his brother's kids will more likely than not, mess with my holiday decorations. I hope it goes quickly and so I could have my stress levels come back down. In any event, I am grateful for my little family and where I am with Wade in our connection these days, we are on a whole different level and we both feel it, we have each other to get through anything.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Love how my hair looks.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How To Deal With The Fear Of Rejection


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  11. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 670: 11/29/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we spoke about thanksgiving dinner with the whole family. It was just as loud and chaotic as I predicted. I was actually more concerned for Wade throughout the dinner because he was getting overwhelmed a whole lot more than I was. I think it was a whole host of issues, but most of all his parents coming for what appears to be the wrong reasons, but in all honesty - it's all normal to them. Wade is seeking out some sort of connection with them, but they are not reciprocating because they are not looking for connection, they are just checking boxes. For his mom it was a photo op for her Facebook friends, his dad well was there in order to show off a bit, but it ended up backfiring because it kind of hurt/offended Wade. We asked them and his brother to bring a small number of side dishes/salads for the table because Wade was making the main stuff. They ended up bringing a lot of food, way more than we asked for - which of course we appreciate the gesture in theory because they wasted money, etc, however, it was also quite inconsiderate in the same breath because they knew Wade worked the night before, woke up early just to cook his dishes for the table but because they brought so much food, no one had 'room' for what he prepared, I think only he, his mom, myself and our daughter had some. Had they told him the night before that they were planning on getting a lot more than we agreed upon, he would have slept longer, been a lot more well-rested for the evening and not bothered cooking anything for the table - we could have saved the ingredients for our own family dinner later on. Then his mom wanted pictures taken, his dad was messing around and taking horrible shots making this fake (and forced) photo op last what seemed like forever, making Wade more and more annoyed and emotionally exhausted. I tried to hold his hand, so he knows I'm there with him but I could tell his mood was foul. His brother was loud, full of himself and just arrogant as usual. Their kids were screaming 85% of the time, so the noise pollution was insane. Then as soon as we sat at the table to eat, they give both their kid's tablets, which I'm almost certain pissed Wade off because as soon as they did that, our wanted hers too and he couldn't say no since they were using theirs. He is not a fan of electronics at the dinner table, especially not right away, usually 30 minutes in once they get antsy (after they finish eating and we're still working on our meals) we give in, but not while they still have food on their plate. My mom was on guard for my Christmas decorations lol as they kept trying to touch them, which annoyed me, and their parents didn't give a flying f*ck about anything. At the end of this whole ordeal, Wade said: "never again"... I think it finally clicked if it's not an authentic connection, what's the point? it's better to have a smaller table but have happiness, calm and peace (like last year) -- then what we had here, chaos, noise, and emotional turmoil/stress and not to mention feeling unappreciated, well at least I felt like he wasn't appreciated/considered by them, not sure if that's how he took it.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How Overthinking Things Hurts Your Growth", in this episode, we learn about how overthinking things hurts your growth. Remember, there is nothing in the world that can trouble you as much as your own thoughts.

    This morning, my little one woke me up at 5:20 am, joined me in bed with the false promise of 'sleeping again'. Shortly after we were both out of bed, at 7:15 am on the dot, the door unlocks and my mom walks in and just sits there waiting for me to doing some Black Friday shopping for cruises, which I quickly saw there wasn't much of a deal on them, she still stayed until Wade got home... within a few minutes after he got home, my dad comes in with more problems for us to solve... "right now!" when all we wanted to go was get out of the house and go for our walk asap, so he can get back home and go to sleep after his shift. After what seemed like the longest delay ever, we finally got into the car and drove down to the mall for our walk. We began listening to "Why You Need to Proactively Change Your Thought Patterns & Beliefs" an interview with Gabby Bernstein, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. She is the acknowledged “spirit junkie” and best-selling author who has devoted her life to helping people unpack and overcome the deep trauma that leads to so many forms of chronic physical and mental illnesses. We only got a few minutes into the interview and so far it is off to a good start about triggers and trauma. We ended up having a nice conversation stemming from her point about blacking out a lot of childhood memories. We would have continued listening during our walk, however, due to the fact that this morning was a total clusterf*ck - I forgot to take our headphones. I guess we will have to finish tomorrow.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: As tired and annoyed as I am by today's nonstop noise pollution, I have not snapped.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Sadhguru - Positive Thinking


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
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  12. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 671: 11/30/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he let me pour out my shame because I did something really stupid when booking our next trip. I overlooked something due to being excited and I regret it immensely, it's something I normally never do and that makes me feel like shit. He let me get my frustrations out and it did feel a little better, but I knew I still had to tell my mom because she would be affected as well and my nerves were shot because of it. Then we talked about his family and the most recent Thanksgiving gettogether, reflected on the whole situation and the lessons we've now learned from it.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Secrets To How To Be More Confident", in this episode, we get some great tips on how to be more confident. Remember, confidence is not 'They will like me', confidence is 'I'll be perfectly fine if they don't'.

    This morning, we continued listening to "Why You Need to Proactively Change Your Thought Patterns & Beliefs" an interview with Gabby Bernstein, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. She is a best-selling author who has devoted her life to helping people unpack and overcome the deep trauma that leads to so many forms of chronic physical and mental illnesses. During this conversation they discuss how can you can decide to stop feeling bad, she describes the point where your meditation stops working, how her faith helped her deal with buried trauma, the healing process begins by recognizing the real roots of the trauma, she talks about the EMDR therapy process, the emotional freedom technique, or “tapping” - something I've actually tried through a free app I downloaded, kind of works but you need pure silence to focus and I can never get that, she also advocates transcendental meditation and using a mantra, how do you practice not believing your own judgments, because her belief is that judgment is an addiction, then she shares her story of getting clean from addiction and that is where we stopped. Then everything was going good until... we were leaving Target and there was a trigger, she was right in front of us, with her tight jeans that really defined her plump, round ass and she stayed in front of us all the way out the store, so for me, it felt like forever. Wade was right beside me, I didn't dare turn my head his way because I was so terrified that if I caught him slipping, ogling or whatever I would completely lose my shit and have an epic meltdown. When she was finally out of our line of sight, Wade stops me, looks at me and begins telling me how beautiful he thinks I am. It was like déjà vu hitting me because we just went through this already and I told him then how it makes me feel. But, here we were again, round 2... to me, when he does this - in this very moment his words and actions scream inauthenticity - they scream agenda, it's as if he is 'making up for' something [slipping, ogling, being triggered, being tempted, etc] by trying to butter me up with compliments at this very moment or at the very least trying to calm me like a crazy person with a "Hey little girl, don't be sad, you're beautiful, don't worry! see I noticed you too!" meanwhile in my head, all I am seeing is red (feeling like I am not who he wants, he wants HER) so these words do not come off as 'coincidental' to me at all, they come off like a strategy he concocted when he noticed the threat, instead of his truth from the heart and I don't like that at all.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I gained a sense of calm about my mistake after telling my mom what occurred and her taking it better than I expected.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    5 RULES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE | Matthew McConaughey


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  13. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 672: 12/01/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Teaching the little on kindness.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, as he gave me a soothing backrub we finished listening to "Why You Need to Proactively Change Your Thought Patterns & Beliefs" an interview with Gabby Bernstein, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. She is a best-selling author who has devoted her life to helping people unpack and overcome the deep trauma that leads to so many forms of chronic physical and mental illnesses. During this final part of the conversation they discussed the benefits of meditation, relaxation, and calm, what’s wrong with the mindset that “if I don’t make it happen, it won’t happen”, she describes how the feeling of unworthiness holds us back, and she explains how to choose new belief systems. Then the fun continued when we went to watch some tv and he gave me a foot rub to boot.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Get What You Want Out Of Life", in this episode, Eric Thomas and Gary V talk about how to get what you want out of life. Remember, luck is for leprechauns, and you're not green.

    This morning, as I got my morning walk in and listened to some more of my book, Wade took our little one to the indoor playground. After we wanted to teach her about good deeds so we purchased a bunch of toys but explained to her that she wasn't allowed to keep them, instead, we headed over to the Toys for Tots and donated them and she was super excited about it. We explained to her it was the kind thing to do, the right thing to do and exactly what holiday spirit was all about. We were also the ones to 'open' the Disney store, so she received a special Disney store key and was stoked about that. She had a great morning and so did we. On the car ride home, Wade told me about an interesting conversation he had with some co-workers, the female, in particular, was very condescending to him about facebook posts that he has been dedicating to me... various one's like quotes/memes about how he is thinking of me, love, missing you messages, etc. She began questioning his motivates behind those posts, perhaps if it was I who was making him do it and when he told her no, she questioned if maybe I was getting tired of getting them? aka he was posting too many messages of this sort, for her liking. I told him that those messages are irritating her because it's something she is probably yearning for from her own husband and he is not doing it, so every time she sees one of Wade's posts to me, it's like a knife in the gut. Then a male coworker said he knows his wife would enjoy getting messages, but "oh well" and Wade no longer agrees with any of that. We are both in a very different place. They brought up arguments and if we ever curse at each other when we fight and he said no, never - which is 100% true, we never name called, even during his PA when we were disconnected, it was just something neither of us ever did. These days, no matter how triggered I am or how in shame he is, how mad, frustrated we are, we end up talking it out peacefully, we never disrespected each other, even if at the end of the talk, we still do not agree with each other, we validate the other's perspective and move on.

    There's a snow storm starting here, I'm hoping they don't close schools tomorrow, sigh. Wade has PT in the morning and I have to see my annoying ass MD right after, not looking forward to THAT.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No major triggers, on a Sunday!:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    I CAN, I WILL, I MUST


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 673: 12/02/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we spoke about the various topics that we've been talking about in recent days. We revisited his coworker and how much denial she must be in, for his posts to bother her so much. Then we went to watch TV before going to bed. We were abruptly woken up at 4:15 am, my dad was having a lot of pain and Wade had to drive him down to the emergency room.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “5 Simple And Easy Ways To Help With Overcoming Self Doubt", in this episode, we get 5 simple and easy ways to help with overcoming self-doubt. 1) Have Principles And Live By Them, 2) Have Your Cheerleading Squad, 3) Keep Your Ego Under Control, 4) Compare Yourself To No One But Your Former Self and 5) Put In The Work. Remember, if you're going to doubt anything in life, doubt that you have limitations.

    This morning, we got the news that the kids would be having a snow day and my dad would be getting admitted to the hospital for pancreatitis. So the rest of the day was a fairly lazy day at home with a heaping mix of stress and anxiety mixed in. With days like this... I miss those Spring days with Wade, where we got to walk while the kids were in school, then went to lunch and everything seemed so peaceful. I'm just glad he is home tonight too.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Keeping my head up, even though so much is happening, all at once.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    5 Ways To CRUSH Self Doubt


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
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  15. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 674: 12/03/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning with Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I really appreciated that even though Wade's back was also hurting, he gave me a nice back rub to help with my pain. I even insisted that he shouldn't but he told me he wanted to. Then we went to watch some TV before heading to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Self-Improvement Tips: How to Develop a Growth Mindset", in this episode, Brendon Burchard gives us some great tips and advice on how to develop a growth mindset - 1. Believe in your ability to figure things out, 2. Question your assumptions, 3. Create your own curriculum for growth and 4. Honor the struggle. Remember, the very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of you.

    This morning, we started listening to "The Science of Building Successful Habits And Breaking Addiction" an interview with Dr. Jud Brewer, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dr. Jud Brewer is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, as well as a research affiliate at MIT. As an addiction psychiatrist and internationally known expert in mindfulness training for treating addictions, Dr. Jud has developed and tested novel mindfulness programs for habit change, including both in-person and app-based treatments for smoking, emotional eating, and anxiety. So far we both liked this one, obviously, it is relatable and this doctor brings up a lot of interesting points on navigating out of habits and addictions. We ended up pausing multiple times so far to branch off into other conversations.

    It's also been so sweet how he's been randomly telling me he loves me, it was cute when he noticed an uptick in it himself today and compared it to the past. Well, there is nothing to compare, he only really told me during special occasions or when he was drunk, maybe there was a one-off here or there, but I don't recall - I was disconnected after all. These days I hear it, feel it and embrace his words, touch, and sweet nothings because it's truly coming from him, from a real place within him... and not just because I've been pleading for it.

    My dad is still in the hospital, after dropping the girls off at home we might stop by to visit him at the hospital, although he asked us not to.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers in Costco today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How to Develop a Growth Mindset


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  16. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 675: 12/04/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed for a little, spoke about our day, how I would love it for everything to kind of go back to some sense of normalcy like getting my dad back home again, as crazy as he drives us. Then we went to the living room to watch some TV and he gave me a soothing foot rub before heading out to work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Managing Your Emotions: How To Stop Being Controlled By Your Emotions", in this episode, Tony Robbins talks about managing your emotions so that you control them instead of having them control you. Remember, if you don't manage your emotions, then your emotions will manage you.

    This morning, we finished listening to "The Science of Building Successful Habits And Breaking Addiction" an interview with Dr. Jud Brewer, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dr. Jud Brewer is an addiction psychiatrist and internationally known expert in mindfulness training for treating addictions. We all have addictions. He talks about how some of us know exactly what habits we need to break, others don’t even realize we’re addicted to unhealthy patterns. No matter the addiction, we could all benefit from rationalizing out our habits to begin to understand them. If we can learn to investigate our minds the way we investigated our environment as children, we can begin to understand ourselves and our patterns. Sometimes it’s our ego that we continue to feed while other times it’s a false sense of reward we think we’re receiving from an old habit. Dr. Brewer believes that through mindfulness, we can learn to experience our habits as they are and not as we remember them because when we do this, we can begin breaking even our most challenging addictions.

    Later after we pick up the girls from school, we'll drop them off and go visit my dad at the hospital. I would really love for him to be back home and driving us crazy here.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today, phew.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Manage Your Emotions and Recreate Your Life


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  17. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 676: 12/05/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I was laying, waiting for Wade to finish watching a show he's been watching with our eldest. Then he joined me and we laid together for a bit, chatted and then went to watch some tv while he gave me a mind-blowing foot rub. I don't know what or how he does it, but it makes my nerves fire off and my brain spasm too, in a good way.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Signs That Tell You It’s Time To Get New Friends", in this episode, Freddy Fri Day, explains if your old friends are not supporting your dreams, you need new friends that share the same winning mindset as you. He says it's tough to cut people out, but if the people in your circle are bringing negative energy your way, it might be time for you to find some new friends who are on your wavelength. Today's message is on when it's time to get new friends. Remember, no person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.

    This morning, we listened to "Your Concept Of Who You Are Is F*cking You Up" an interview with Mark Manson, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Mark Manson is the New York Times bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck and the new book, Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope. He talks about the importance of hope and how to peel away the layers of your values & identity. He also focuses on values rather than traditional metrics of success, what made him change his focus from music to writing and why he “mourned” his change in career, how to establish a foundation of strong values for yourself (and why it matters), how to decide what your beliefs should be in order to have a better life, why you shouldn’t always trust your emotions, how to build your willpower so that you can do things that are difficult, how “our self worth equals the sum of our emotions over time”, how to develop resilience and why you have a relationship with yourself just as you have a relationship with someone else & the difference between low and high self-esteem, and how to peel back the layers that make up your sense of self. It was really cold, so we didn't speak much throughout, we spoke in the car and really like Mark's point about "for every action, there's an equal and opposite emotional reaction", therefore, you have the opportunity to one-up your self talk in moments of frustration, laziness or temptation, etc. So when your emotional brain is telling you "a free donut! yummy and free!!!!! I must have it!" your thinking brain can step in with some rational thoughts like "free? yes, but how will I feel after? how have I felt after eating a donut in the past? bloated, guilty and fat! - so, even if it is free, is it worth it? no, let's skip it... we didn't finish the whole thing, but probably will tonight.

    I hope my dad comes home tonight!~ fingers crossed.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Sick, but in a good mood.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    NEW FRIENDS NEW LIFE


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  18. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 677: 12/06/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed a little and spoke about the items of the day for us. Most of all our plans for the holidays... because we want to do so much, but unfortunately we are broke. Wade also reflected back on our vacation plans for 2020, how maybe we should have skipped it this year in order to pay off some debt - something I kept telling him, but he said: "it's fine, just book it!" (so I did). Then we decided instead of going out somewhere for NYE, we'll celebrate together at home. Then we went to watch some TV.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Daily Discipline: What It Is And How To Improve It", in this episode, we learn what daily discipline is and how we can improve it for even more success in life. Remember, success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every single day.

    This morning, we finished up "Your Concept Of Who You Are Is F*cking You Up" an interview with Mark Manson, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Then we started on another one of his interview's "I Got Chills When I Heard This Quote" with Robin Sharma. He is considered to be one of the top 5 leadership experts in the world. He has worked with rock stars, royalty, billionaires and many celebrity CEOs. Here he talks about why you should wake up early and how to get clarity around your life's mission. The interview starts off with such a beautiful quote "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in adapting the world to himself", so true. During this conversation, we learn about how to cultivate enthusiasm and become a high achiever, why you should wake up before the sun rises and Robin Sharma’s 20/20/20 framework, why so many people are brainwashed into believing they are not capable of amazing things, why he bucked his 9-5 and started his business, he goes into why nothing is more expensive than losing your joy and your peace of mind, the importance of heart-set, health-set, and soul-set, how to become braver, more courageous and accomplish more, how to eliminate distractions from your life, his thoughts on patience vs. impatience, and the 3 traits to cultivate in yourself if you want to be a leader.

    Then we went and bought two adorable guinea piggies, little baby ones! Wade set up the cage and the girls don't know yet. I can not wait to see their faces when they walk into the house! they'll be excited and I'll even let each one name one piggie.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Our two new guinea pigs made my mood go up x10.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    This is Why Daily Discipline makes people successful


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  19. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 678: 12/07/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched some TV as he gave me a quick foot rub, I think he was very excited about our new friends, which our daughters named Chocolate and Ginger. As soon as he was done with the foot rub, he grabbed Ginger and gave me Chocolate and they laid on us as we watched TV, until he had to go to work. His reaction to them was adorable, we've had a family guinea pig in the past and I don't remember him acting this loving towards him before.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “7 Great Ways To Maintain A Positive Mindset", in this episode, we hear a few ways to help you maintain a positive mindset. 1) Believe, 2) Create a great environment, 3) Help someone, 4) Improve your habits, 5) Have accountability, 6) Be Grateful, and 7) Live your One Word. Remember, a positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you.

    This morning, we finished listening to "I Got Chills When I Heard This Quote" an interview with Robin Sharma, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. During the rest of this conversation, they discussed what drives him to keep working, his deepest and most cherished core values and his protocol for biohacking. It was interesting and his book sounds like it would be an intriguing read. I can also attest to the fact that having a good morning routine really does set the day off to a good start for you. Wade was acting all cute throughout our walk, but I still felt like shit because my right ear has been clogged for three days now due to this freaking cold. Once we were done with IT, I decided to change it up a little and turn on a comedy special but it wasn't all that great, so Wade suggested we listen to one of our geek review shows, where they discuss the epic failure of a movie: The Dark Phoenix, which had him and I going for quite some time, as we both agree with the commentators.

    After some research, I found a recommendation for a device, that was said to 'work' for clogged ears, so long as it was not an ear infection. It's pricey $60 and I thought it sounded a bit gimmicky, but I was desperate and had a lot of coupons for CVS. So, I bought this "Eustachi Eustachian Tube Exerciser"... and it actually worked, I was in shock, it unclogged my ear about 80%, it's also been popping ever since (clearing out). However, the only thing is the headache I was having from the cold/clogged ear, has gotten worse as this probably agitated it, Advil isn't doing much plus my little one hasn't closed her mouth the entire day either, which doesn't help...

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers, always make me happy.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    7 Ways to Keep a Positive Mindset


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  20. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 679: 12/08/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid on the bed and spoke a little about a video I watched. Afterward, he told me about some situations at work with a coworker, where he make a joke/comment, along with someone else and then felt guilty because he felt like he had shamed that person. I'm glad he is able to express himself to me, it is better than being guilt-ridden. I had a rough night, pain, coughing and lack of sleep. My phone kept blinking, so I decided to check it out, it was notifying me that action was required with one of my google accounts. The account was Wade's, which I've had on my phone since day one because of the mobile game we play. Concerned, I messaged him because I thought his account may have gotten hacked. He told me that it was him, he forgot his password and needed to reset it. Then he questioned why I had his account on my phone, so I reminded him that I have had both accounts on my phone all along and he knew that because I told him that on multiple occasions. But the way he was wording his responses ... made it seem like he was getting defensive (and surprised - when it was never a secret) and questioning my integrity/trustworthiness as to why I would have his account on my phone. It was just a really off-putting reaction and triggered me to respond with "are you hiding something?" and after some back and forth, him telling me that I was misunderstanding his responses, I was over it and just wanted to go back to sleep.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Power And Importance of Enlightened Self Interest", in this episode, Jim Rohn helps us to understand the power and importance of enlightened self-interest. Remember, the key to finding is searching.

    This morning, we talked about the middle of the night issue. Then on the way to the mall, we began listening to "What Everyone Who is Too Self-Critical Needs to Know" an interview with Marisa Peer, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. She is a Famed hypnotherapist, named the Best British Therapist by Men’s Health Magazine, has devoted her life to helping people resolve childhood trauma, find love, and lead healthier lives. Her primary insight is that the mind does what you tell it to, but most people do not understand how to talk effectively with their own minds. So far in this episode, Mrs. Peer explains exactly how to transform your negative self-talk, details the process by which you can come to the full realization that you are enough, and explains how to deal with the primary impediments to personal growth. We only got 8 minutes in, but she tells the story of what led her to hypnotherapy, how hypnotherapy shuts down the critical part of the brain and explains why you need to use language that is powerful and absolutely up to date. Then I went for my walk while Wade took the little one to the indoor playground. While I walked, I listened to my book "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk. An interesting point was "We have learned an enormous amount, not only the impact and manifestations of trauma but also about ways to help traumatized people find their way back. Since the early 1990s, brain imaging tools have started to show what actually happens inside the brains of traumatized people. This has proven essential to understanding the damage inflicted by trauma and has guided us to formulate entire new avenues of repair. We have also begun to understand how overwhelming experiences affect our innermost sensations and our relationship to our physical reality; the core of who we are. We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past, it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and body manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think, and what we think about, but also our very compacity to think. We have discovered that helping victims of trauma find the words to describe what has happened to them is profoundly meaningful but usually it is not enough. The act of telling the story doesn't necessarily alter the automatic physical and hormonal responses of bodies that remain hyper-vigilant, prepared to be assaulted or violated at any time. For real change to take place, the body needs to learn that the danger has passed and to live in the reality of the present. ". This book has a lot of science but explains a whole lot in ways anyone can understand.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Some minor triggers during my walk got through them quickly.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Jim Rohn: TIME IS VALUABLE


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2019

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