Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Jagliana, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 690: 12/19/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Moments of SILENCE!

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't talk, we watched some TV as he gave me a foot rub. Then it was time for him to head out to work. At around 5:00 AM our little one wakes me up, because 'it's morning time' and I spent a good 20 minutes convincing her to go back to bed lol and it was pointless because she came right back out 10 minutes later "I'm done sleeping".

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Living An Above Average Life", in this episode, Freddy Fri reminds us that we have everything inside of us to be great! So stop being AVERAGE! Remember, one of the few things more people should have a healthy fear of is being average.

    This morning, Wade had a doctor's appointment and my parents took the girls to school. I am still sick and with the weather being as brutal as it is, I couldn't walk here. Wade gave me some good news, he would get some extra days off, which is great! then I spent the day continuing to put together our budget and then one of my clients contacted me about a small job. It was nice to sit in some silence and try and figure some stuff out, I hate math, numbers, and budgeting... but it has to get done, I would love to get our family out of debt, somehow, someway and one way or another, we will get there. This coming year, there will be a lot of changes happening and as Dave Ramsey says, get comfortable living uncomfortably aka frugally until you can breathe again (debt-free).

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: How giddy I got after finding out I would get extra days with Wade this holiday <3:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Stop Being Average Motivation


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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  2. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 691: 12/20/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we spoke on the bed for a bit, while he caressed me, his touch always puts me on cloud 9, even when I feel sick. He told me about his Mindset book that he had finished, he completed so many books this year, I am so proud of him! he's much better at that than me, but to each his own I guess. I'm slowly getting through my book... I hope I can get through it, some parts are good but others are a bit science-like and boring.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “It’s Time To Get Over Your Past Mistakes", in this episode, Les Brown has a message that inspires you to get over and move beyond your past mistakes. Remember, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of the Universe, which is why we call it the present.

    This morning, Wade told me about his night returning to full duty after being on their definition of limited duty due to his injury. He is happy to get back to it, he said he was with a new guy all night, a young one, some conversations came up about 'looking' at other women and Wade tried to question him because he has a girlfriend of five years but that guy wasn't getting it and I told him 'of course not', because a few years ago - you were him too. Then he told me about a Ted Talk he listened to, but could not get through, a sexologist that was condoning all sorts of sexual exploits, while married so long as everyone is cool with it but no one brought up connection and how things can affect it, so he turned it off and tried another one that was more interesting and was more about connection. Then during our walk, we began listening to "How to Live a Remarkable Life" an interview with Kathy Bates, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Kathy Bates is a Legendary actress who has probably lost count of how many awards she has been nominated for and won. But very few people know about her battles with cancer, her family history of suicide attempts, or her own struggles with PTSD and depression. During this interview, she talks about gratitude, moments of grace, and the fact that you don’t have to be perfect to be remarkable. Some of the topics they've discussed so far have been how she advocates that actors can create empathy and bring people out of their tribes, she shares her family’s story of suicide, details the ways her mother had such a positive impact on her, she discusses her own struggles with depression and his father’s similar struggles, she describes the worst relationship she’s ever been in, and her battle with cancer, then tells the story of a dead finch that turned into a powerful sign, she explains how she learned to not always try to fix or control everything, they discuss faith, God and moments of grace, how you don’t have to be perfect to be remarkable, how she advocates humility and keeping a beginner’s mindset, and interrupts her discussion of humility to discuss being mistaken for a stripper. As we were walking, I noticed a sign at D&B's that they are doing an NYE special, we were planning on sitting this one out for financial reasons, but maybe we should splurge a little before tightening our belts starting Jan 1st!

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: The girl at Target didn't trigger me, better yet Wade didn't get into a debate about it/her and why! (I was relieved).:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    IT'S TIME TO GET OVER IT!


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  3. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 692: 12/21/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't talk, we watched some tv as he gave me a nice foot rub. Then it was time for him to go to work and I headed to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “No More Excuses: Developing A No Excuses Mindset", in this episode, we get encouragement to develop a very helpful no more excuses mindset. Remember, he that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

    This morning, we finished listening to "How to Live a Remarkable Life" an interview with Kathy Bates, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Kathy Bates is an A-list actress who has shared with us her battles with cancer, her family history of suicide attempts, or her own struggles with PTSD and depression. During the rest of this interview, she talks about Richard Jewell’s story, working with Clint Eastwood and worrying that she was finished, needing truth in the media and government, and then she shares her response to the question of what impact she wants to have. During our walk, I noticed a couple, where the female was definitely a trigger for me. They were walking in front of us for a bit, then Wade stop's and picks up his phone to do a game mechanic where you have to use the game's camera, and it was "coincidently" right at the time where that female also stopped and was standing looking over the rails. So, she was right in his view on his camera. Of course, he claims that he didn't realize she was there, he barely noticed her at all the whole time and didn't think she would trigger me etc., but there were just way too many coincidences... not to mention how long he spent explaining those 'facts'... there was no way he didn't notice they [she] was in front of us and unless he is completely blind, no way he didn't see her ass in his camera either, I don't buy it. He denies it and says it was all random, but I just don't believe that everything just so happened to fall into place and he is blinder than a bat when a few years ago he would notice someone's ass on the 3rd floor if we were on 2nd. When he explains himself, yes it all sounds good, but I just don't think it's plausible, sorry - you just can not be that blind, especially given his job.

    Anyway, my little one's nap lasted all but... umm 5 minutes, so now I'm struggling to keep her entertained and come up with some logo ideas/work, while still sick as a dog. God, I'm so depressed right now, I just want to roll up into a ball and cry, but I can't.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: As triggered as I was, I didn't completely lose my shit today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    THE RIGHT MINDSET!


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  4. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 693: 12/22/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we spoke quite a bit about the issue from earlier in the day. He again tried to make his case and explain his position and I made mine. As I've stated before, there are just some things, based on the different places we are coming from on it, we just can't see eye to eye on. When he speaks, it does sound perfect to me, almost like a dream [too good to be true], but it does not compute for me, at least not based on what I've witnessed and have known to be true, for what seems like forever. Anyway, it was good to talk about it all when both of us were a little more relaxed about it. Now he is under the weather too but has one night of work left before having almost two weeks off. So we watched some TV with whatever time was left before he had to head out. In the middle of the night our little one began screaming like a maniac, giving me a total heart attack, she wanted the blanket fixed! ugh.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Stop Waiting For The Perfect Time", in this episode, Eddie Pinero from Your World Within has a message of encouragement for you to stop waiting for the perfect time, and realize that your perfect time is right now. Remember, stop waiting for the perfect moment! You have to take the moment and make it perfect.

    This morning, I was still in a crappy mood and I did give Wade some warning on that. I did not know whether it was still residual effects from yesterdays events, from my being sick, tired, annoyed by my client or a mix of it all... anyway, we took the little one to the mall so she can let some energy out and I could get some of my walk in. During my walk I listened to some more of my book, it's interesting but so professorial that I couldn't keep listening, not in the mood/state I was currently in. So, I decided to lighten my mood with some Dry Bar Comedy, I listened to a little over half of Alex Velluto's full special "Stop Your Racist Reflexes" before my client called and interrupted my fun with some more annoyances. One the way home Wade wanted to listen to some funnies too, so I put on another Dry Bar Comedy with Kevin Bozeman, "The ONLY Time To Tell Kids That Santa Isn't Real". We were laughing most of the time and we only got through half, we'll finish the rest later. My mood is a little better, but I still feel myself in a foul mood, I hope this changes soon. Later today our eldest daughter's friend is coming over, so I expect the noise level to rise yippie.

    Looking forward to tonight, when all the minions are in bed, so Wade and I could watch a movie in peace and quiet.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Was able to 'move' through a few triggers today during my walk.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    It's Time!


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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  5. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 694: 12/23/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Quality Time.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we had a movie night and watched a Netflix original movie "Marriage Story" and I have to stay, it was really good. Not only was the acting phenomenal by Adam Driver, and Scarlett Johansson, but the story was great and served as a surreal window into a place Wade and I could have easily been in, no so long ago, especially if I had given in to my fears and not decided to give him, well - us another chance. It wasn't a comedy, it was a serious (some would say - sad) look into the world of a marriage falling apart and the bitterness of the divorce process.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why Self Pity Is Harming You and How To Let It Go", in this episode, Isaiah Hankel reminds us that self-pity is the enemy, and gives us some tips on getting rid of it forever. Remember, self-pity is like an unattractive jacket. It simply must never be worn.

    This morning, we had a few errands to run between the supermarket and Costco. There weren't many triggers at our first stop, but as usual, Costco had plenty. Wade seemed okay, so my reaction to those triggers wasn't as bad, I'm not sure how directly connected the two are, but I think there is some connection there. During the car ride and moments in between, we spoke about the movie we watched and how it related to us, where we once were etc. as I mentioned, it was like looking into a window, a scary alternate reality/possibility.

    Tonight, if the weather stays decent we plan on doing something fun with the girls, a light show experience at the zoo - I'm looking forward to it.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Didn't let a few triggers ruin my whole day.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Marriage Story | Official Trailer | Netflix


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 695: 12/24/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched some TV. He gave me a foot rub and then we headed to bed. We got intimate, something that we've both been waiting for and wanted for a while but due to sickness, it was almost impossible.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Essence Of Life Through The Ant Philosophy", in this episode, Jim Rohn provides a simple but great explanation of the essence of life. Remember, we must understand that life isn't what we're given, it's what we create.

    This morning, we walked and began listening to "Transform Your Relationship" an interview with Matthew Hussey, on Ed Mylett's show. Matthew Hussey is a world-class speaker, New York Times Bestselling author, a columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and a relationship/dating expert. So far, it is good and because when it comes to love and relationships, Matthew knows what he is talking about and does it in an honest and genuine way, nothing folksy or 'fluffed' about it. So far they've gotten into is there really a ONE and ONLY for you? how to know if you should keep pursuing someone, how to date in a world where technology has given us so many options and sleeping with someone on the first few dates. Then we had an incident, there was a prime standing with her friends, I noticed her quickly (kind of difficult not to, fat ass, bright red yoga pants, Latina with blonde hair) and was put on alert, as we were turning the corner. My focus went straight to Wade and of course, I saw his eyes go in that particular direction, even though we were turning the corner to go in another direction. I thought to myself "I knew he would slip, and I was right, he couldn't help himself". I didn't bring anything up to him, I just kept listening to the video as we made our way to Staples. After we left and were making our way to Target, he asked me if everything was all right. I said to him "I saw you slip" and he began his defensive response, on repeat for about 5-10 minutes straight, claiming that he looked in that direction - yes, but did not see anyone there at all, that maybe he was looking at something else or whatever, but he didn't see anyone like who I'm describing and doesn't really know who I'm talking about or why he even looked in that direction other than, for the sake of randomly looking around. All that frustrated me even more, especially because it made me feel like I made the whole thing up in my head and she was never there. I don't think someone who sticks out like a freaking sore thumb, can be missed, sorry but I don't care how you just 'glace around mindlessly' you just can't miss something like that. Anyway, this back and forth continued for a bit, he tried to come up with better solutions on handling something like this in the future. In the car, he again began repeating himself, explaining how he did not see anyone because he only cares about me these days and no one else matters and as good as it sounds, I just find it so difficult to believe, especially in certain circumstances, especially where someone is dressed like a traffic cone and has his dream ass/body. I want to believe him, I really do and when he speaks about his feelings for me these days, it feels so good and but after what I've been through and continue to deal with during triggers... it seems too good to be true.

    ANYWAY, I will try and breathe, calm down, distract myself with cleaning, reorganizing, designing, doing activities with the girls, etc in order not spoil this holiday for Wade and the girls...

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: As triggered as I got, I am still trying to be excited about the girls/family festive activities today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    LES BROWN: Wake Up - Take on A New Life


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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  7. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 696: 12/25/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Christmas morning fun.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me a soothing back rub and during this, we spoke about the day and the mishap at the mall. As usual, he stated his case, I stated mine, both of us are pretty clear on our own positions, even though we try to understand where the other one is coming from. I've explained both our points about similar topics before, so I'm not going to do it again right now, but we did discuss it and hopefully came up with a decent resolution to try next time we are in this situation. Then he spoiled me further by giving me a foot rub while we started watching the new Netflix show "Witcher"... so far, so good. While in bed, I told him I felt like because of my issues/triggers I was souring the mood for the holidays and I really hate that, he told me that I was not and that there was way more good than bad and he is still happy, lucky and grateful for where we are, especially after watching Marriage Story which reminded him of the alternate reality we could have easily been in, instead this holiday season.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Living Courageously: Living Life On Your Own Terms", in this episode, we hear an inspiring message on living courageously and living your life on your own terms. Remember, the secret to happiness is freedom. The secret to freedom is courage.

    This morning, I got up before our little one (surprisingly!) and realized we forgot to put out the milk and cookies for Santa! so I quickly did the whole setup, even including a thank you note lol, Wade got up helped me make the scene authentic towards the end, then we both hopped back into bed and pretended to be asleep and in the nick of time too because as we did that, she woke up. Of course, she saw Santa stopped by and was super excited, came in and we acted surprised too. The morning was a hit, everyone loved their gifts and the mood was set for the day - in a good way, which I'm thrilled about. Although my dad did try to be a debbie downer and started to tell us how he was up since 2 am because he felt sick, my mom cut him off and told him to stop. Then after that interlude, we continued opening presents, once we were done, Wade began prepping for the Christmas dinner we have planned for this evening with his parents. Although we don't know how that will go for him (emotionally) but we are hoping better than Thanksgiving, because it will just be his parents, not with his brother, wife, and kids too. I hope it will be a better and less draining experience.

    I'm actually looking forward to maybe watching a comedy special and having a few drinks with Wade tonight, one on one time, to decompress and enjoy our time together without chaos.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: In a surprisingly good mood, given the last few days, happy about that.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Give Thanks Every Day


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    [​IMG]
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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 697: 12/26/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, after a very nice Christmas day, we were both super exhausted. We sat down to watch Witcher together with some yummy snacks. But before we did, he went out to have a smoke, when he came he was overfilled with emotion and told me how happy he was, how much he truly loves me and only wants me, no one else. Every time he says it, it does give me this weird feeling, like butterflies in my stomach, not sure how to explain it. It's sweet and I believe that he is truly grateful for this chance and does really love me. I wanted to stay up and make it a date night, but I was passing out as we were watching, so he took me to bed and both of us went to sleep, much different than it would have played out in the past.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Important Life Lessons You Can't Afford Not To Know", in this episode, Freddy Fri reminds us to embrace the drama and mess in your life, dig deeper and find the true message for that is hidden in your mess! Remember, you can count on the Universe to always deliver what you need, but understand what you need will not always be what you want.

    This morning, we had to handle some stuff for my parents (yet again) which also caused us to have a moment because he did something with a customer service rep that irritated me and I kind of snapped at him for it, but we discussed it right away. Once we were finally done, we took the little one to the mall so she can run around the indoor playground and get some energy out. I walked around and listened to a comedy special because after listening to my parents all morning I needed to decompress. Then we picked up some lunch, stopped by Optimum which ended up killing a bit of time, again for my parents... on the car ride back we listened to some more of "Transform Your Relationship" an interview with Matthew Hussey, on Ed Mylett's show. Matthew Hussey is a world-class speaker, New York Times Bestselling author, a columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and a relationship/dating expert. We pause a lot because Matthew's points are always so wise and valid, we agreed with him and are often surprised that someone so young has so much wisdom on these matters, then again that is why he is, who he is. Then he paused and again repeated to me what he said to me last night, it was sweet and gave me those butterflies again. It does feel good, especially when I am present and not in the middle of a trigger where my mind is spinning other thoughts (in the negative). I told that these days, I am also grateful for where we are right now as a couple too, we are on a whole different level. That we can be honest and upfront with each other at the moment something bothers us, so we never have to sit with resentment for long.

    Then from the moment we got home, my parents have been driving us completely insane and we have not had a moment to decompress or breathe... he knows exactly what I am talking about. All I can say is... THPRKDGKR%%#@#RTTDFFSGHGFSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDG$%##@#@#@#%.... UGH.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I didn't completely lose my mind today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Lessons Life Taught Me


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  9. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 698: 12/27/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid down in bed and both just spent a minute just breathing ad sighing heavily, reflecting on what a draining and exhausting day it had been. Then we just ranted to one another, it is so nice to have someone to let all of this frustration out to. Before, it was just me, myself and I... which felt like I was harboring the weight of the world, going insane and not to mention making these type of matters worse because of the depression from my own life/marriage issues. These days, I have (and he has) someone to 'release' to and it has really been such a relief. Then we went to continue watching Witcher while he gave me a nice foot rub, before heading to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why Having A Clear Vision For Your Life Is So Important", in this episode, we hear a message on why having a clear vision for your life is so important. Remember, don't let the limitations of others limit your vision.

    This morning, we walked outside, it was cold but not as bad as it has been. During our walk, we finished listening to "Transform Your Relationship" an interview with Matthew Hussey, on Ed Mylett's show. Matthew Hussey is a relationship/dating expert and has coached millions of women [and men] around the world to help them get the love lives of their dreams. I still can not believe this wise man, is younger than me, sheesh. They talked about compatibility/physical intimacy and it made Wade and I think about how much connection plays a role in physical intimacy. Because in our case, he was always much more hands-on, he enjoys touching, hugging, kissing, etc and he never really cared whether or not we were connected (pre-recovery). Me, on the other hand, when we were disconnected, I found myself finding any excuse I could in order to avoid holding hands, kissing or various forms of true intimacy, because I didn't feel connected to him at all...and I didn't want to get emotionally invested in someone who didn't want me, ignored me and only looked at other women, what would be the point? I still had sex with him, but it was more of 'just to do it because I was horny and he's my husband, I'm not going to step out on the marriage' kind of thing. However, after he began real recovery and we began connecting, we developed a deep intimacy, something neither of us has ever felt before when that happened I actually wanted to be kissed by him, I didn't push his hands away when he wanted to hold mine, etc, there was a dramatic difference. So, for me, in order to be open to intimacy, I need that kind of connection, others are different, each person has their own needs and Matthew was trying to express that you need to be with someone who matches who you want out of a relationship, otherwise, you will always feel like you are always giving and in return constantly being rejected, which feels horrible (I would know/been there). This was a really good interview, so many good points, he went into his Disney story about trashcans ... which he uses as a metaphor for making sure to take care of all the small, daily moving parts of a relationship because those are the ones that matter most and will grow or destroy (if ignored) a relationship. He also made a really good point about relationships, be it love or work being someone's main identity and when they lose it, they feel like they've lost everything, he explained it way better of course. This one is worth watching for everyone.

    Then we had plans to have a rest day, where we could clean the entire house, do some arts and crafts with the girls... but of course, we had to spend the whole day dealing with my parent's tv shit AGAIN, it just never ends #FML.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Felt good to at least get out for a walk, before the chaos of the day began, yet again.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    5 RULES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  10. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 699: 12/28/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Annual Family Day.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we finished Witcher, which we thought was a good series (but short! only 8 episodes) now we have to wait a whole year for new episodes. He gave me a nice foot rub during which always makes everything better lol.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Emotional Triggers: How To Maintain Control Of Your Emotions", in this episode, Lisa Romano explains how to deal with emotional triggers and regain control of your emotions. 1) Identify what triggers you ahead of time before you are triggered and make a list, 2) When triggered, reorient yourself to time and space and identify what is happening as a symptom of being triggered and 3) After the trigger has occurred, talk to your Amygdala and remind yourself that even though you may consciously recognize the trigger, the fact is your body may still be reacting to stress hormones. Remember, you'll reach a new level of freedom when you take control of your own emotions.

    This morning, we had the new family tradition that we started last year, 'annual family day' where our girls get to pick the activities for the day and where we have our family lunch. It's one day before the year ends and the new one begins, where we get to celebrate the year leaving us, connecting as a family. My mom needed something, so I went over to their place really quick, while Wade and the girls were finishing up and supposed to wait for me outside the apartment. When I left my parents place, I didn't see anyone, I thought it was strange "why is it taking them so long?", so I went back to our apartment, as I opened the door, I hear Wade giving a speech and our eldest's eyes puffy and wet as if she was crying and trying to make herself stop. All I could think to myself was "oh, for f*ck's sake, just one day, come on!" - at that point, I didn't even feel like going anywhere anymore. In my opinion, Wade didn't have to start anything about this particular issue, at the end of the day, it is really not that big of a deal and it's a pet peeve of his - yes, but sometimes, it's okay to just let things go, not everything is defcon 3. Was our eldest wrong by not listening to his request, knowing it's a pet peeve of his? yes, was it worth him going into a whole thing about it with her, setting a bad tone for what is supposed to be a happy and fun day for the family? no, because it's really not that big of a deal in my opinion. Anyway, they tried to mend it, I told them that they were both wrong, they seemed to move on, my mood was off because I did not like that the day began this way, it upset me. I tried to get over it, our first stop was a VR place and then Dave and Busters, which helped me get distracted. After that, we had a family lunch at Johnny Rockets where the eldest actually said she was happy that our family dynamic has changed in 2018/2019 because she finally really got to know us more than 'just parents, but people I can trust and share things with' and that touched my heart because that's when recovery/healing began and major changes started for us and our family. That was followed by dessert at this ice cream cookie dough shop and then gifts for the girls. After all, everyone ended up having a good and happy day and I am glad and grateful for that.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No major triggers/incidents today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    Overcome Emotional Triggers and Master your Emotions


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  11. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 700: 12/29/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Getting Medical Answers.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed for some time and spoke about our day, we reflected back on the morning (not so great start for our new family tradition) but also how it went throughout the day, it ended up nice and how good it was to hear what our eldest daughter thought about the changes she has noticed, without us asking or mentioning anything. Then we began watching season 4 of The Expanse on Amazon, as he gave me a nice foot rub - which I am so grateful for. I have still been feeling like crap, so I barely slept again.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Developing These 3 Mindsets Will Change Your Life Completely", in this episode, we learn about 3 mindsets that will change your life completely if you develop them. 1) Ask crazy questions! For example, "What would I do if I had a million dollars?" or "What would I do if he/she/they want me?" Asking absurd questions sparks creative thinking and enthusiasm. 2) Apply a "fear setting" or worst-case scenario and recovery plan. This will convince you that acting on your dreams won't ruin your life--there's a way to survive anything! 3) Before bed, write/type one thing that will make the next day a WIN for you. That one thing each day should be a productive step towards your daily, weekly, yearly or life goal. Remember, if you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.

    OMG, we are on day 700!~ wow! so proud of @Wade W. Wilson!

    This morning, instead of a walk, I decided to go to see a doctor at urgent care because my regular doc has been rather useless. Good thing I did because he told me that I have both a respiratory and sinus infection, meanwhile, my regular doc told me nothing of the sort, she told me "it looks a little red, but I think it's okay", ugh. Anyway, now I'm on a really strong dose of antibiotics which I hope will end this month-long sickness! Then we ran a few quick errands and decided to have a lazy day at home so I can recuperate.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I insisted on an X-Ray, even though normally I would have 'gone with the flow' and agreed with the doc that maybe I didn't need it.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    3 Mindsets That Will Change Your Life


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  12. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 701: 12/30/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Food.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid a little a talked about our days. I still felt like poo, but I was grateful that this urgent care doctor told me what was wrong with me and gave me some proper medication to start. Wade had a very long day himself, he decided to do some cleaning that has been on his "to-do" list for a while, but something always got in the way. He took care of that and still managed to handle food for us all and everything, I am grateful to him for that - he really does a lot for us girls.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Helpful Tips On Overcoming Victim Mentality", in this episode, we hear some helpful tips on overcoming a destructive victim mentality. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

    This morning, we listened to twenty minutes of "How to Have Infinite Energy" Todd Herman on Conversations with Tom Bilyeu. Todd is a peak performance coach who has worked with hundreds of Olympians and champion athletes and has learned that alter egos are an absolute requirement for extraordinary achievement. Here he details exactly how powerful the alter ego can be. He discusses the need for rituals, shares the real stories of how he got where he is, and even explains exactly how to have abundant energy in every area of your life. So far, we've heard them discuss what he likes about New York City, why people struggle with change, common words and phrases we use are actually what traps us, how the brain tries to protect you from looking like an idiot to yourself, he explains how environment changes people, he describes the basic reason people need to create an alter ego, and why we all have multiple identities and uniforms, and they are all flexible and malleable. Then Wade went into the living room to be with our daughter as I did some stuff on my Mac, while we waited for my parents to come over to sit with our girls, so we could go and run some errands. After a bit, I decided to join them there, I asked him a question, twice and he was so into the Nintendo switch that he completely ignored me... which for me was a triggering incident. He was sitting on the same lazy boy, that he spent years doing this very same thing to me, on... it was not pleasant at all, I just wanted to go into the bedroom and breathe in and out before my parents came in but of course, he followed me and started asking me what was going on. We talked about it, even though I really was not in the mood, but then my parents came, he apologized and we had to leave and get things done. The weather was shit, I felt like shit too - in more ways than one and that was that.

    Once we got home, Wade entertained the kids and let me go take a nap, which was nice of him... I actually passed out - those 875 mg antibiotics are really working numbers on me.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I received the correct type of probiotics and I feel like they are actually helping with the antibiotic side effects.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    CHANGE YOUR LIFE WITH THIS


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  13. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 702: 12/31/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) NYE.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, somehow my parents decided to allow our 5-year-old to sleep over their place as well as our 12-year-old. It was so weird, to have our entire place all to ourselves... but after that wore off, we enjoyed our night. He gave me a nice back rub, which helped with my pain from the cramps caused by all of the excessive coughing. Then spoiled me with a foot rub while we watched some TV, before heading to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Effectively Manage Your Mind", in this episode, we get some excellent tips on how to manage your mind - 1. Sleep well…it’s needed, 2. Get up early and exercise 3. Eat healthy, 4. Avoid addictions, 5. Keep in touch with people, 6. Take a break and 7. Meditate regularly. Remember, if you aren't the one who is controlling your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions then you're one who is being controlled.

    This morning, we continued listening to "How to Have Infinite Energy" Todd Herman on Conversations with Tom Bilyeu. Todd is a peak performance coach who has worked with hundreds of Olympians and champion athletes and has learned that alter egos are an absolute requirement for extraordinary achievement. This is a two-hour interview, so it will take a few days to get through. During the next part, they've discussed why he doesn’t need to know who you are because he can see your results, why he asks “what are you”, not “who are you”, he doesn’t spend any time talking to people about motivation, Todd and Tom discuss how labels trap people and limit them, why he loves archetypes but he doesn’t always use them, the most common alter egos people adopt are, surprisingly, Grandmas, Todd describes the need for triggers and rituals, and then Todd and Tom discuss the power of birthing emotional states with physical triggers.

    And I would like to give @Wade W. Wilson a personal message, as we step into another year together - I would like to say, I love you and I am grateful to have you in my life. I’d like to thank you for always lifting me up every time when I was down and encouraging me to move forward, for making those downs not as gloomy, but rather more bearable, sometimes even funny and enjoyable. Without you, I couldn’t have gotten through this year in the way that I did. Let's have another great fulfilled year together, where we will continue to have each other's backs, get through anything - together, remain in sync and connected, with continued growth where we encourage and support each other individually, as a couple and as parents. Let this year give us more accomplished goals, dreams, and new experiences - that's my wish for us. С наступающим baby!

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today, going into the New Year in a peaceful mood *hoping it stays this way*.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Self-Care
    One of The Most Eye Opening Speeches


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 703: 01/01/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Being alive to start a new era.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade and I spent the evening watch his favorite old Russian movies, classic NYE ones. They were comedies and had a lot of music, which was nice. Earlier in the evening we had a mini-family NYE celebration with finger foods (perhaps a bad idea, way too much junk food). Before putting the little one to bed, we played some board games with her. Then, we had the whole night to ourselves, where we continued the Russian holiday movie marathon. Wade made me some chocolate-covered strawberries, which I really appreciated because they were nowhere to be found unless it's Valentine's day. To be honest, his custom version came out better because he used Milk Chocolate, my favorite. We had wine, desserts and each other - that's how we rang in the New Year - it was perfect.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Master Self Discipline And Improve Your Life", in this episode, we have a message on how to master self-discipline and improve your life. Remember, with self-discipline virtually anything is possible.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
    [​IMG]

    This morning, Wade wanted to go have a family breakfast at iHop (a new tradition he is thinking about starting) and of course, when I told my parents to have my eldest home by 9 am (she had slept over), they asked why so I told them... so... they invited themselves to come with us... ugh. It's New Year's day, so I would feel like a horrible person saying "NO, you can't come with us". The whole time there was such a headache for me, between the kids who were deadset on driving us insane with their morning attitudes and my dad's outrageous, embarrassing and shameful behavior --- I just couldn't wait for breakfast to be over. Once we finally got home, it was more calm and peaceful, at least between Wade and myself - we even gave each other nap breaks LOL.

    Our girls start school tomorrow (yeay!) and we have a movie date, we're going to see "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker".

    In other news, his vacation is coming to an end and that makes me sad...

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Started the new year without triggers.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    One of The Most Motivational Videos Ever - SELF DISCIPLINE


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  15. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 704: 01/02/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Movie Date with Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and spoke about what can possibly come up with/do to help make some changes within our eldest. She is a really emotional child and addicted to electronics, with a dose of sick attitude. Then she walked into our room to ask a question and Wade responded to her very immaturely, but quickly caught himself (thankfully) and went to apologize to her and explain himself. Then we went to watch some TV as he gave me a nice foot rub.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Integrity Matters: Integrity Is Kind Of A Big Deal Here's Why", in this episode, Freddy Fri tells us about the importance of living your life with integrity. Remember, what you do in the dark will find its way to the light.

    This morning, I began reaching out to some old connections but I have a feeling no one will respond. Then, we had a movie date, we saw "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker". Before that, we ended up paying only .10 cents for our snacks at CVS and then had another $5.00 off at the movies for our popcorn. When I opened my bottle of coke, it bubbled up, even though I opened it slowly and got all over me and normally, a few years back that one incident would have ruined my whole experience and mood for the entire day - causing me to snap at Wade and everyone else the rest of the day. This time, I got annoyed by it, yeah, but I brushed it off with an "it is, what it is, I will just have to throw everything into the laundry". Wade kept apologizing, but I told him exactly what I told myself. In the end, we both enjoyed the movie, it was our first date for 2020, we got lucky with coupons on our food, so we save quite a bit of money - so there was more good than bad today, in my opinion.

    It's the start of a New Year, time to tighten our financial belt, it won't be easy - but I will have to figure it out, (re)budget and see if I can somehow get our debt down.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Didn't let spilled coke ruin my whole day.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Why Integrity Matters


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    [​IMG]
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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
  16. Purity Power

    Purity Power Fapstronaut

    Hello, may I ask why ? Lol
     
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  17. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Because I would let the situation get to me and allow my frustration to be top of mind, the whole being wet, sticky with coke all over me for 2.5 hrs. Things like would put in the "ugh, of course, this would happen to me" type of mood.

    I'm just weird like that lol
     
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  18. GID2020

    GID2020 Fapstronaut

    I don't think it is weird at all! I think when we don't deal with the big issues we have in our lives, the little ones become much bigger to us! Probably because you could feel more comfortable (at a certain point in your marriage) of pointing out that you were pissed about something small (ie. spilling your drink) than you could pointing out the big problem you felt you were going through (ie. being married to a PA).

    Not weird at all! :) And shows tremendous growth on your part that you can say that you let that go and had fun anyway!!:)
     
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  19. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Thank you! I agree with you.

    I believe that (other than some female triggers), I have been better at letting things go more and I believe you are right - because I'm no longer holding the weight of the world on my shoulders alone (all of that depression, fear, resentment, anger) it makes it easier to diffuse myself and not let every single thing turn into defcon 2.
     
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  20. GID2020

    GID2020 Fapstronaut

    That's REALLY great! That will help you with everything in your life! Including raising teenagers. Lol.
     
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