Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Jagliana, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Thanks <3

    And I think I will need a lot more healing and strength in order to deal with the teenage phase because so far the tween phase has been... umm... PLEAD THE FIFTH. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: LOL #HELP
     
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  2. GID2020

    GID2020 Fapstronaut

    Lol, I understand! My husband and I have 6 kids (we are a blended family) and we have a 17, 15, 13 and almost 13 year old in the house right now! It's enough to drive anyone a little crazy. Lol. They are all pretty great too but its still a lot of hormones to deal with at once! Lol.
     
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  3. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Oh man, yeah, I don't know if I would be able to survive that many teens in one house, at least not without asylum stays here and there lmao. You are strong! <3
     
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  4. GID2020

    GID2020 Fapstronaut

    Lol! Thanks! You seem like you are pretty strong yourself! If you ever want any advice about raising teenagers don't hesitate to ask! I read a great book called "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!" It's by Michael J Bradley. Really great stuff in there and I highly recommend it!
     
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  5. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Thank you again, for sure!!

    AND I will definitely look into that book because that title is on point LOL.
     
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  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 705: 01/03/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and reflected on the day and how we're feeling. He told me how happy he was with where I was in my healing and what I wrote about my handling of the spilled coke situation. Then we discussed my parents and some of their antics. Afterward, we went to watch some tv, he gave me a lovely foot rub and then we headed to bed. This is what I like, peace - I enjoy peace, it makes me feel safe and at ease.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Taking Full Responsibility For Your Life Is A Sign Of Maturity", in this episode, Jim Rohn reminds us that taking full responsibility for what happens in our life is one of the highest forms of maturity. Remember, you can change your whole life on any day you wish.

    This morning, we continued listening to "How to Have Infinite Energy" Todd Herman on Conversations with Tom Bilyeu. This time we heard them discuss how we react to people based on the clothes they wear, about a study that showed that kids did better when dressed up as Batman, then Tom explains why he strongly advocates self-signaling and using totems to stay obsessed, Todd explains why he uses his glasses as a totem and ritual to get into his alter ego, the need for scarring rituals to mark big life changes, how people’s family narratives can hold them back, how everything you need to be successful is already inside you, that pressure does not exist in Todd’s universe, and Todd explains how to rebuild after a crushing loss. When they started talking about pressure, it opened up a good exchange between Wade and myself - as our opinions on it differ slightly. Then, we agreed wholeheartedly when they began going into Olympians and how perhaps if they didn't build themselves up to want the #1 spot/gold metal, instead strive for 9th pace, so if you get 5th place, they will feel a lot better about it than when they go for the gold and get 5th place, it's all mental. While I agree with the concept of not being overzealous, we are talking about folks who spend their entire lifetime training to get the gold medal lol, with people all around them telling them daily that they need to work to achieve that gold... so if they turn around and go "yeah well, listen here coach, I think I'll shoot for 9th place and take it from there, okay?"... umm... lol Now, something like an American Idol audition, yeah, shoot for "at least one of the top ten!" and if you are #4 or #1, then you've done it! that's a little different. It was a lively and fun conversation to have with Wade, I really did enjoy it.

    When we got home, Wade made me a surprise breakfast meal and I loved it. He made me a pizza/panini type of dish, a Naan with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, and balsamic glaze baked - it was delicious. I really appreciated it and of course, I appreciate him cooking for me in general in this way (with love & creativity), especially because he never put love into it the past, he barely cooked, most of our stuff was just microwaved, not to mention we barely ever ate together.

    I'm sad his extended vacation is coming to a close, but grateful for the extra time we did have.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers, few days in a row, I'm shocked but happy.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Jim Rohn - Find Out What Drives You


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    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  7. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 706: 01/04/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Calming Pets.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched some TV while he gave me a foot rub, then he left for work and it felt weird going to bed by myself, yet again. It's daunting having to get used to this process time and time again. :confused:

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Overcome Negative Thinking: Train Yourself To Always See The Good In Others", in this episode, we have an excellent message on teaching yourself to see the good in others. Remember, everybody you meet is struggling with something.

    This morning, Wade had to work, the weather sucked so I was stuck at home, not able to get my walk in and with no way to get a moment to myself, I felt like I was spiraling. At 11 am, my parents came and now, for an hour and a half straight, my dad has been talking and repeating the same stories that I've heard for years without a breather. Not to mention they saw I had a show on Netflix paused, to the point where the show went back to the home screen and I just turned the tv off. All morning the little one was singing 'to herself' [and by that I mean, out loud for our neighbors to hear] in a super high pitched tone, then my dad adds on to it... and it isn't even lunchtime yet!

    I just want to lock myself in a soundproof room for a few hours.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I haven't gone completely insane... yet.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Overcome Negative Thoughts


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 707: 01/05/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I was so drained by night time, my coughing had gotten worse again which made my head throb, plus dealing with the kids and my parents just made all of my symptoms worse. Wade got home and brought me a sweet treat, later on, even though he worked practically a double shift and barely slept, and his wrist was hurting... he still insisted on giving me a back rub and foot rub, even though I tried to tell him not to because I knew how tired he was. Anyway, I was grateful for it, whatever he does - it helps relieve both my back and head pains. Then we watched some TV and headed to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Achieve Anything You Want To Achieve", in this episode, we have a great lesson on how to achieve anything you want to achieve in your life. Remember, figure out what you want in life then go after it as though your life depends on it.

    This morning, before we left the house we continued listening to "How to Have Infinite Energy" Todd Herman on Conversations with Tom Bilyeu. This time we heard them discuss how important it is to love the struggle, not just the results, how you have many identities and many roles that you play in life, that it may be more important to be in a stable hierarchy than to be at the top, they strongly advocate mentorship and really learning something, they discuss authenticity and whether there is an authentic self, that whatever it takes to get you to take action, do it, even if it’s “fake”, they discuss the real story on the mindset necessary for greatness, and Todd shares the story of being sexually abused as a 12-year-old. Again, just like the last time, we found ourselves disagreeing with some of Todd's perspectives on things while siding more with Tom, like how you should try and inspire/encourage others to be better instead of trying to belittle them/shame them into doing better. During my walk at the mall, I listened to some more of my book "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk, there was a lot to unpack but an interesting point I took out of what I heard today was "many people who lack emotional connection at home, seek it out elsewhere, they look for belonging and often times it is through joining communities outside of the home, like the military in order to form bonds and connections". This instantly made me think of Wade, given what I know now about how disconnected he was growing up.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No major triggers during my walk.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    New Year Goals for Winning Life in 2020


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  9. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 708: 01/06/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning talk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched some tv, he gave me a foot rub which really helped with my headache that had been ongoing, all day. Then the little one woke me up multiple times throughout the night... so that was 'fun'.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Self Doubt and Anxiety: How To Overcome Self Doubt and Achieve Greatness", in this episode, we get some great advice on how to overcome self-doubt and anxiety. Remember, it's not your business what others are doing, what matters is what you're doing.

    This morning, we had to do our weekly grocery shopping, on the way to the store we finished listening to "How to Have Infinite Energy" Todd Herman on Conversations with Tom Bilyeu, we only had a few minutes left. Todd went through a lot of trauma as a tween, I'm surprised he managed to dig himself out of such depression, figure out a solution and find a way to help others. Then we also talked about the interesting point the author of my book made that I posted about yesterday. How, many people who lack emotional connection at home, seek it out elsewhere, they look for belonging and often times it is through joining communities outside of the home, like the military in order to form bonds and connections. His parents came to this country to avoid having him drafted into the military, then he goes and signs up voluntarily here, perhaps there was more to that. I also updated him on what I am doing with our budget, well my plan for this month and how I will use what I learn and apply it throughout the rest of the year. We did our shopping and came home, Wade went to bed and I sat down and tried to figure out this whole withholding allowances stuff from his check, which has been made 100x more complicated this year than I expected it to be. I even gave up and reached out to our tax guy who called me and said that what I sent him, confused him too... and I was like "great, then there is ZERO hope for me figuring it out now". I will keep researching though, he said Wade will probably have to go to Payroll and have them explain all these new options on the W-4, so we can do it correctly. He said once he does our taxes for 2019, he will be better equipped to let us know what the correct amount of withholding should be.

    My brain hurts, this is on top of all of my other aches and pains, sigh, why couldn't I be born a financial genius.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I didn't beat myself up over not walking due to feeling sick.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How to Have Infinite Energy


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  10. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 709: 01/07/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we talked for some time, about our day, how his night went at work and that he managed to get a lot of recovery work done and that made him feel accomplished. Then I brought up something that had been bothering me the last two days, my response to him when he told me he would get stuck at work, on a weekend, which triggered and overwhelmed me in multiple ways. I remembered the selfish reasons he would do that in the past, then it instantly dawned on me that due to the weather/my illness I wouldn't be able to walk outside either, then the fact that the kids were home all day PLUS my parents would be in and out all day too and there would be no break for me anywhere in sight - all of those thoughts, feelings, and emotions just took over and I gave him attitude, but given all that and after working all day, he still gave me a nice back and foot rub, when I objected to it (because he was tired). We talked about it all and then we went to watch some TV before he had to go to work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Always Hold Your Head Up", in this episode, Les Brown reminds you to hold your head up when you're going through difficult times because stumbling every now and then is simply an indication that you're trying new things. Remember, success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

    This morning, after a few vague messages back and forth, he left me hanging in uncertainty and I do not do well sitting in uncertainty, especially when my morning is thrown out of balance because of it. I would have rather have a concrete NO or yes, rather than a "maybe", "we'll see" or "I'll let you know later". By him doing that (being vague), he put me in an uneasy mood this morning and I did not want to go anywhere, at all. I give myself certainty with the morning routine I've established for myself, I get up, wash up, get dressed for my walk and ready the kids for school, so then I could have a few moments of peace while they are busy. He sends me a message a little after 5 am, that he is so tired and had a busy night, which he could not wait for it to be over. Without following up with what that means for our morning... so of course, I have to fish, I respond with "So I take it, no walk today?" and his response was "we'll see, relaxing right now" -- bam, throwing me into uncertainty, which for me is equivalent to spiraling out/panic attack. Am I getting dressed for a walk? am I not? should I start my meds? should I not? should I bother setting myself up in the bedroom or living room???? it goes at a mile a minute and it really bothers me and I don't care if other people think "it's so small or silly", to me uncertainty is the pits and he knows it. After we spoke, I told him it was fine, we'll just stay home because I don't want to go anywhere at this point especially if he is tired, and now I am in a shitty mood. He began convincing me that he was good to go and wanted to go for a walk, I really *breathe in and out* and put my bad mood on pause in order to agree to go, which took a lot out of me. On the way to the mall, we began listening to "What If My Story Is Different" a podcast by The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert, whom we hadn't listened to in a long time. Then after a few minutes in, we remembered why we stopped listening... it was a lot of "filler", ever since they began promoting paid content, the free stuff is minimal. They spent the first 15-minutes of the 27-minute podcast answering a question about how they pick their topics, repeating their points on top of each other. So, we learned nothing and once we were in the mall, Wade actually began talking about our morning, my feelings, uncertainty and our whole morning exchange starting from his first message. We seemed to have hashed it out and kind of figured out what he should do next time when something like this comes up. Then on the ride back home, we finished BAE's podcast... which felt like dead air to me with a side of judgment on one point, where Ashlynn scoffs at the idea that some couples in recovery share trigger's with each other in order to build trust, well, Wade and I did it this way and it actually helped us build the kind of connection we now have - where I can tell him that him putting me in this uncertainty set me off this morning and we could talk about it, instead of me holding it in and remaining in a funk. Or me being able to acknowledge my own faults, like having an attitude due to getting triggered. Or him telling me the truth about how an interview with a former porn star about the industry, he may have found it more interesting than it really was... because he remembered her from some of his PA days and was afraid listening to part two would trigger him, so we didn't watch. Or when something explicit comes up on a TV show, he can talk to me about how it made him feel or if it didn't bother him at all, why and then we can rationalize further, together. You can't claim to be 100% honest with each other and constantly promote the concept of getting comfortable being uncomfortable if you are still withholding information, which is what BAE promotes, aka "have integrity, be accountable, be transparent, support each other" and then two minutes later they contradict themselves by saying don't talk about triggers... or laugh/scoff at the idea that being 110% honest is somehow not the right way to grow trust, because it is something they can not do. So much irony coming from the group that keeps saying "there is no perfect pill in recovery, every story is different and done in their own way".

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I opened up about what was bothering me.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    IT'S TIME TO GET OVER IT!


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  11. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 710: 01/08/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we did not talk because we spoke in the morning. We went to watch some TV as he gave me a foot rub. He had a back and forth with our eldest, and did not let her go to bed while listening to her phone (music). So, a few minutes it, my gut was giving me signals, I sent him back into her room and when he came back out, he said that she seemed okay. A few minutes later, she came out in tears and we had a good heart to heart with her, well at least I believe so.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How Self-Discipline Is The Key To Success", in this episode, Jim Rohn talks about how Self-Discipline is the key to your success. Remember, self-Discipline is the magic power that makes you virtually unstoppable.

    This morning, we couldn't go to the mall because we want to save miles, we were going to stay home but then I weighed myself and got into a depression... so we went for a short walk because it was bitter cold. We began listening to "You Grow Most When You Push Yourself Into The Discomfort" an interview with Nico Rosberg, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. So far we heard them discuss how Nico avoids pushing his children too much and about his rivalry with Lewis Hamilton. I mean we didn't get into much, but both of us agree that it is 'meh' so far, not sure if we'll continue it. Then we had a junk food-filled lazy day.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Jim Rohn - Successful People are Self Disciplined!


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  12. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 711: 01/09/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and talked, he continued to be full of gratitude and compliments toward me, of course, it feels good to hear, and I continue to get butterflies from some of his words but he seemed a bit extra yesterday, I think it was because he may have felt guilty from earlier in the evening when I ended up taking down the Christmas tree decorations on my own because he was taking forever to finish his writing. He claims that is not the case, but I do notice an uptick in that sort of talk/behavior when he is in guilt or shame. Both of us seemed to have gotten into a giggly/happier mood towards the end of our talk, then we went to watch some tv and he gave me a nice foot rub - before heading to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Question What Is Forgiveness And Why Is It Important", in this episode, Freddy Fri answers the question, what is forgiveness and why is it important, he reminds us that it's super important to forgive but to never feel like you must restore the relationship to its previous state! Remember, to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

    This morning, we began listening to "Change Starts with You" an interview with Dhar Mann, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dhar Mann is a serial entrepreneur who has experienced the highs and lows of success, From funding millions of dollars in real estate loans at 19 to his time in the medical marijuana industry, to scaling an eight-figure cosmetics business, he has a proven ability to build companies. Most recently he has become the fastest-growing viral video creator in less than one year with over 3 billion views across Facebook, IGTV, and YouTube. Here he shares his story of shallow success, failure, rock bottom, reinvention, and finally true success. So far, we've heard them discuss where the “fake it til you make it” mentality can go wrong, the story Dhar hasn’t shared publicly about his biggest failures, why your reputation is worth more than money, what happens when you accept that you are the problem and why you must be in the right mindset to take advantage of opportunities. So far we like it and it interested us right away, unlike yesterday's one.

    Hopefully today we will get a chance to start our first lesson/class of Financial Peace University and it will be the beginning of the end of our life, living in debt and paycheck to paycheck, I am so happy and excited that Wade wants to do it with me... this would have never been the case two years ago.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No major triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How To Forgive And Move Forward


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  13. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 712: 01/10/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Errands with Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me a lovely back rub and we spoke for a bit about how he would like to contribute to the recovery community - perhaps through videos, groups, etc., he would like to inspire others who are just starting out, help where he can and just do more. I told him I would support him and help him in any way that I can. All that I ask is to keep it off of places where his family could catch wind of it, so it does not come raining down on us from them and then eventually my parents finding out too - I am not ready for that. Afterward, he continued spoiling me with a foot rub, he really knows the key to my heart LOL

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Fighting For Your Life When All You Want To Do Is Give Up", in this episode, we have a very inspiring message about fighting for your life against all the things that make you want to give up. Remember, the Universe responds to the man or woman who refuses to be denied.

    This morning, we finished listening to "Change Starts with You" an interview with Dhar Mann, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dhar Mann is a serial entrepreneur who has experienced the highs and lows of success. During the rest of this conversation, Dhar discusses why he waited so long to come back on social media and how to stay positive while building your brand and content when no one is watching. We got quite a bit done today, stopped by the pet shop, laundry was done, ran an errand at Costco and there were a few triggers there, but I managed them. Then Wade and I watched lesson 01 of Financial Peace University and looked through/worked on our budget [app] together, both of us feel good about this process and I hope this is the push/change we both needed and needed to pursue together, to finally get out of debt. We are in a different place these days when it comes to our relationship, so I think things will be different on this front too.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Enjoyed lesson one of budgeting with Wade.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Motivational Speech Compilation


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 713: 01/11/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Slow Mornings.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't talk, we watched the movie "Lost in Space" since we finished watching the TV show of it. Both of them were different, with some slight similar elements. He gave me a nice foot rub too, then we went to bed a little early... for some fun and then sleep.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why You Must Stop Constantly Worrying About What Others Think Of You", in this episode, we hear why you must stop constantly worrying about what others think of you. Don't let other people's opinions distort your reality, be true to yourself, be bold in pursuing your dreams and be unapologetically you! Do not allow other people's opinions of your lifestyle affect you. It is your life to chose how you live it. Remember, the darkest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.

    This morning, I finished listening to "The Power Of The Infinite Mindset" an interview with Simon Sinek, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Wade joined me for a little while we sorted the laundry and listened as well, but he is going to relisten to the whole thing on his own later. Simon is a business consultant, author, and motivational speaker. He teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. In this interview, Simon talks about his journey and why creating a great work environment is so important to him. He also discusses the Infinite Game and why it’s a process that will reap great benefits. During this interview, they discuss how to avoid sustained stress in business, why you should be inspired to go to work, Simon’s definition of a leader, how to build your self-confidence, and why the Infinite Mind is vital to our future success.

    Excited about working on this budget thing with Wade, pumped about it actually. I even found a free event to do with the kiddos today at Barnes and Noble, keyword being free! hoping there won't be any triggers there and it will be a nice, fun and relaxing event - for everyone.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Enjoyed being lazy today, and I felt no shame about it.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Watch This If You Constantly Worry About What Others Think


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
  15. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 714: 01/12/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and he spoke to me about his feelings toward me and wanted to express that he understands that sometimes it may feel overwhelming for me or seem like he is overdoing it for reasons... with something more behind it, like to butter me up. But, he says it is coming from a straight forward, and honest place with nothing else behind it. That after the cruise, he also felt a shift, just as I did, he feels closer to me and so much more grateful and lucky for where we are, that he can not help himself and expresses those thoughts as they pop in his head. Then we watched some tv before he left for work and I went to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Get Back On Track When You're In Need Of A Mental Adjustment", in this episode, Brendon Burchard talks with us about how to get back on track when you need to make a shift to a more positive mindset. Remember, if you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree.

    This morning, the erratic weather pattern continued, but it was over 65 degrees so we walked locally. During our walk, we listened to "The Real Secret to a Healthy Mind and Body" an interview with Aaron Alexander, on Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Aaron is a manual therapist and movement coach that knows better health is inseparable from deep healing. As a result, he helps people align their mind, body, environment, posture, and movement, achieving incredible results. Here he details exactly how to change a multitude of small aspects of your life to become physically and mentally healthier. During their discussion, they talked about how body language, posture, and dance affect the brain, how music causes physical and emotional state change, how changing your facial expression changes your emotions, he talks about some of the “diseases of affluence” like sitting too much, and he also strongly advocates spending some time each day hanging, staring and being in nature. Then we decided that this interview/content just wasn't doing it for us, it wasn't 'impacting' us, so we stopped listening.

    After we got home, I jumped in the shower, when I came out Wade had prepared me breakfast and presented in a way that they would in a restaurant, it was so thoughtful and cute. I was thankful that he spent time cooking and putting it together for me, I appreciate it. After he went to sleep, my parents stayed another full two hours and my dad kept talking about used cars and all of the things he clearly knows (and I/we do not!) about finances, how Dave Ramsey is clearly a fraud and how he knows better, etc. It was annoying, especially since I had just heard all of those same points, from him, last night, sigh.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Sharing tender kisses and hugs with my little one, she is still into cuddles aha.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    BAD DAY? 3 Mindset Tricks to Get Positivity Back


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  16. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 715: 01/13/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Breakfast by Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't talk, we went straight to watching TV and my fav: foot rub! it's been every day, but I still can not get used to it lol. It's so nice to be in the place we are at these days, that no matter how triggered I am, we can still get back to this peaceful place. Then he went to work and I went to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To More Effectively Deal With Difficult People", in this episode, we get some excellent tips on how to deal with difficult people more effectively. Remember, the less you respond to difficult people the more peaceful your life will become.

    This morning, I listened to "Why Terrifying Self-Discovery Is the Only Way to Succeed" a Mindvalley talk with Tom Bilyeu. It was quite uplifting and inspiring, on how - no matter where you are at today, tomorrow can be different, so never give up hope and never give up on yourself. Tom shares his gritty, unglamorous success story. How his journey started with a whirl-wind adventure to eventually end up in success. 15 years after battling with depression, having his only reason for getting out of bed in the morning being his girlfriend's lunch break, he learned the art of growth-mindset and becoming ANTIfragile, and here he explains how he did it through terrifying self-discovery that may motivate you to want to confront who you really are. Then, Wade and I did our weekly grocery run, our adjusted one for this off week - the goal for this week was under $50.00 and we did it! on the way to the supermarket, he told me about a job he had to handle tonight, where there was a suicidal woman at the scene, who was in her mid to late twenties and completely naked. He told me he did not get triggered and he did not ogle her, he assessed the situation and became self-aware, then the urgency of the scene and kept his mind worried about keeping this woman from jumping, rather than having an urge to objectify her. He said after they got her safe and secure, got EMS to take her to a hospital, he sat down and rationalized the situation to himself and realized that he did not have the urge to objectify her, something he would have been excited to do a few years back, instead he humanized her and felt sorry for her, wondered if she was mentally ill, etc. He also said he didn't even think twice about whether to tell me or not, which I am happy about, well that and the fact that it didn't trigger him. Then we talked about a few other things, like how he was happy about something he picked up on... me constantly referring to getting 'us' out of debt, working on 'our' financial goals, etc - which gives him more hope for our future, that I'm looking into our future as us, not just worried about myself. When we came home and before he went to bed - he made me a yummy salad.

    Tonight, he is going to try a Borscht recipe in the Instant Pot, I'm excited for how it will turn out!

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Heard Wade's story and did not get triggered.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How to Deal with Difficult People | Jay Johnson


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  17. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 716: 01/14/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Photoshop.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and spoke for a bit. Wade needed to decompress because he had a headache from my dad and our eldest and her antics.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why Attitude Is Everything", in this episode, Jim Rohn explains very clearly why attitude is everything. Remember, a bad attitude is like a flat tire, if you don't change it you'll never go anywhere.

    This morning, I listened to a few Dave Ramsey videos, one was really informative, it was his explanation and breakdown of whole life insurance versus term life insurance, "Why Is Term Insurance Better Than Whole Life Insurance?". I think everyone here should definitely listen to it, I never knew whatever funds you put into whole life insurance vanish if you die before taking it out, what a fraud! Wade had to get our car inspection done, the weather was iffy and my cough returned with a vengeance last night and continued on this morning, so I got situated to stay home and not go for my walk. Then, Wade calls and tells me to get ready to go, I mentioned to him about my coughing, that we wouldn't be able to talk because I'd need to cover my mouth, etc., and that I had already gotten comfortable and situated myself -for staying home- that I was working on my tearsheets, but he throws out there "so what, get dressed, no excuses!" or something like that. I'm sure his intent was not malicious, but what he said definitely threw me into shame and guilt, so I got dressed and ready to go on the walk, even though I really did not want to at this point, it was easier to just do it because the shame of not going after his remarks would have eaten me alive. We spoke about it, he told me that it was not his intent, that he was joking and that he thought I wanted to walk. Then, I [re]explained why I was under the impression we weren't walking today, and after I broke down/reminded him of stuff I did mention to him before - how I need my morning balance to remain intact (one way or another) that when it comes to my morning routine, I like things done, in order - one way if the result is to go out or another way if it is to stay home; even if it seems odd to him or for anyone else - he apologized and seemed like he understood why his comments threw me into shame and guilt. Anyhow, during our walk, we decided to move on and began listening to "He Explains in 51 Seconds Everything That's Holding You Back" an interview with Les Brown, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Les Brown is a Legendary motivational speaker who has overcome the most profound challenges. Over the course of his incredible career, he went from being labeled mentally retarded and working menial jobs to inspiring audiences of up to 80,000 people at a time. Here he shares the truth about how everyone has to fail their way to success. He also details his strategies for improving his mindset, explains exactly how he transformed the story he tells himself about himself and talks about how to deal with negative thoughts and negative people. So far, we heard them discuss how life is a battle for territory, he discusses his battle with cancer, which he has been winning for over 20 years, how he changed his beliefs and the stories he told himself about himself, how his experience with prejudice, and how he learned to have hope, how the dominant culture dismantles people’s creativity and sense of self and he also strongly advocates embracing your own uniqueness.

    By the time we were going home, I had calmed down a little bit and he apologized one last time. My mood got better when we paid a total for .40 cents for a treasure trove of snacks at CVS. At home, he made some food and we sat down to start lesson two of Financial Peace University, pausing and sharing some thoughts in between. We didn't finish because he wanted to go take a nap, but we will finish tonight. Dave Ramsey is a really smart guy, he is a bit blunt, maybe over the top but he knows what he is talking about. The only thing Wade and I don't really enjoy is the nonstop references to God and religion, but we have to look past all that because we are swimming in debt and both of us have hit the point where we have had enough and are not going to live like this anymore.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I was about to get out of my own head and not stay in my shame/anger.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
  18. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 717: 01/15/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade gave me a nice back rub and we spoke during. We discussed our plan of action after listening to lesson two of Dave Ramsey's FPU. How we plan on making payments, implementing the snowball method and etc. Then we talked about feeling disconnected earlier in the day and then feeling better and more connected later, after getting excited about working on even more changes together - both relationship-wise and financial.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Practical And Useful Tips On How To Change Your World", in this episode, Admiral William McRaven provides some practical and useful tips on how to change your world. Remember, people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

    This morning, we finished listening to "He Explains in 51 Seconds Everything That's Holding You Back" an interview with Les Brown, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Les Brown is a Legendary motivational speaker, as we finished up this interview they discussed how not to live the life that was given to you by your circumstances, he strongly recommends reading, changing your social circle, and finding a mentor, he makes some surprising book recommendations, Les talks about holding negative thoughts in check, he shares his strategy for continuously improving his mindset, and talks about the impact his mother had on his life and advocates listening, telling stories, and orchestrating an experience. After this one, since we still had some time, we began listening to our next one "How To Improve Your Mood" an interview with Doctor Daniel Amen, with Jay Shetty. Only a few minutes in and we are already excited about this one, we loved his interview with Tom before, so I'm sure this one will be just as mind-blowing, pun intended... Dr. Amen is a psychiatrist and brain expert.

    Later today Wade has to pull a double shift, which sucks for me because I like his company in the evenings, especially after the girls are in bed - it's our time to talk, connect and watch shows together. It will feel out of sync, but "work is work" and all that crap, blah blah. :rolleyes: Can't wait for his days off to begin...

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: It was great/exciting learning more about insurance with Wade today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Admiral McRaven Leaves the Audience SPEECHLESS


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
  19. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 718: 01/16/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Saving money!

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade had to work a double, so he wasn't really home during the evening/night. However, my kids and parents were and omg my head as throbbing for hours. Finally, after everyone was in there corners, I finally had some alone time and continued watching Shitt's Creek. Then, Wade called me for some advice, he was done early, but it was at such a time where he didn't know if it made any sense to stop by the house or just go straight to work. I told him that perhaps it was worth it to swing by because he would be able to make himself some coffee and lunch to take to work, which means he would be saving money by not eating out. He decided to stop by, it was a pleasant treat, we got to chat for a bit but when he got home, something felt off about his mood, he didn't seem as uplifted as he normally gets and didn't greet me with a hug, I couldn't put my finger on it, maybe it was all in my head and he was just tired. Oh and then I saw a mouse!! run by ugh... so now there is that.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Stop Complaining: Immediately Change Your Life For The Better", in this episode, we hear why you must stop complaining and start taking action instead. Remember, stop complaining if for no other reason than the more you complain the more unhappy you become.

    This morning, we went to Home Depot to get a mousetrap... boo... during our time running our errand we spoke about his night, my night and some thoughts he had on changing things up in his career. I told him my concerns/fears, which prompted a discussion about how certain he is with where he is at in his life and how he feels about me. He said although he understands how I still feel and am fearful of things he knows his truth and is pretty certain about it... I wish I could say the same, I would love it but it seems so impossible. I told him that I think a lot of it stems from feeling like perhaps I was never really his 'prime type' or just type from the start and he just settled. We both agreed that throughout this recovery, but especially after this last cruise, a shift did happen and we just keep falling more and more in love with each other. However, love and connection are not everything, physical attraction has to be there and in my opinion, it has to be big. He told me that he is really attracted to me, more than ever and of course it is amplified by connection, but it is definitely both. Sometimes when he speaks these days, I feel butterflies, perhaps a faint whisper in the back of mind where it all sounds so good and dreamy, I almost start believing that maybe it could be true/possible, but then when I remember the facts at hand and history, it snaps me out of it. Anyhow, then both of us start working on our life insurance rate and got it locked in and down! which will bring our February monthly budget lower!! we a working out some kinks this January, but I think within three months we will have a better and more solid plan for our budget. We're doing this together and that's both exciting and inspiring, for us both.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    "Stop Complaining! Do Something About It"


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  20. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 719: 01/17/2020

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and decompressed, spoke for some time. Someone joined his Discord channel (for PA's) and I have one of my own for partners who are in need of support/healing (message me for an invite) and we spoke about that. Then he gave me a lovely pedicure (minus the coloring) with a massage, while we watched TV. Then we went to bed!

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Living In The Present And Making The Most Of Every Moment", in this episode, we have a fantastic message on living in the present and making the most of every moment. Remember, yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery, but today... today is a gift. And that is why it's called the present.

    This morning, we finished listening to "How To Improve Your Mood" an interview with Doctor Daniel Amen, with Jay Shetty. What an interview! after listening to Dr. Amen on Impact Theory, I began following him on social media, but this interview enlightened me even more to his wisdom. Dr. Amen is a psychiatrist, brain expert, and ten-time New York Times bestselling author. During the rest of this interview, they discuss how addiction starts and being addicted to his craft, identifying the causes of living with a damaged brain, overcoming making irrational decisions, we don't have to believe every stupid thought we have, how attachment causes suffering, you're responsible for your relationships, that you need to be suspicious of new love, you won't see things clearly for 3-4 months, how our pleasure centers are being worn out by the modern world, is purpose [knowing your 'why'] critical to happiness? what do drugs and alcohol do to our brains? and why is inspiration short-lived and how we can make it long-lasting? He thinks everyone should implement these two tiny habits to their lives, daily so that it becomes their new normal, tiny habit #1 - asking yourself is this good or bad for my brain? tiny habit #2 - start every day thinking today's going to be a great day.

    Now we are watching FPU baby step 3, together! I'm excited about doing this together. <3

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Had a potential panicky situation on the bridge, instead of getting triggered/angered I was calm and let it go.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Making The Most Out Of The Present


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020

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