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Jealousy. How can I stop this feeling?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Zin, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. Aug 28, 2015 #1
    Zin

    Zin Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I wanted to hold off making my own thread until it was about something I felt is important and can't be googled.

    The girl I'm with has a lot more sexual experience than me. Shes been with 9 guys. I've only been with her. This fact alone doesn't bother me. At least I tell myself it doesn't. Knowing about it is fine I guess. The thing is I have to hear about it a lot.

    Sometimes she will bring something up with me about a past partner or she will chime in with someones conversation with her experience. I don't feel like I'm out of line for feeling jealous when this happens. So I told her how I felt. She apologized but continues to slip up.

    It's got to a point where I actually feel a pain in my chest and become depressed afterwards. Later on in the day I will recover.

    The reason why I'm here is because I have PIED and other associated symptom of PMO addiction. So when we have had sex it hasn't been great. This is not all my fault though. Essentially she has said due to the number of her past partners that she is now bored of sex. This really hurts me. It's like shes had all her fun with them and so now doesn't want to have fun with me.

    In every other way she is supportive of me but she's just so sexually closed off. So when I have to hear about her past it makes me want to tear my hair out.

    And advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
     
    Zin, Aug 28, 2015
    Zin, Aug 28, 2015
    #1
  2. Aug 28, 2015 #2
    Moni

    Moni Fapstronaut

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    You have to look at her side of the story. Think of it this way, if you try chocolate for the first time you'll go "Did God send it from heaven?" but since you've had it hundreds of times it doesn't make any difference to you. If your girl has been with several guys before that does not mean that she's 'experienced', it means that she could not find what she was looking for in those 9 guys and that is definitely not sexual gratification. She'll open up once she realizes that you've got more to offer than your reproductive organ. From what I know a girl looks for emotional support in a guy and a guy looks for sexual pleasure in a girl(typically). Its a two way road. You can't expect something from her before offering her what she needs.

    Sorry if I didn't make any sense.
     
    Moni, Aug 28, 2015
    Moni, Aug 28, 2015
    #2
    Zin likes this.
  3. Aug 28, 2015 #3
    AlltheRageBackHome

    AlltheRageBackHome Guest

    I'm just going to give a short and brief answer....

    I wouldn't even give a woman like this the time of day...... I've come too far and seen enough shit to waste that sort of time. Many relationship experts suggest leaving someone who continues to talk about their exes constantly. It is a huge red flag, and it is SO insensitive and obnoxious.

    It is different if your girl has a child with some other guy and has to naturally make reference of him from time to time. Other than that, talking about exes is absolutely unacceptable.

    I think you are only with her out of your own insecurities, because deep down you feel that you wont be able to find someone else. You need to let go of those beliefs. They are false. It sounds like she doesn't really care what the hell she does....

    She's bored of sex? Fuck that. There are plenty of amazing women out there who would have me. Why the hell would I stay with someone with all of these blasé attitudes? Come on, dude, wake up and smell the coffee.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2015
    AlltheRageBackHome, Aug 28, 2015
    AlltheRageBackHome, Aug 28, 2015
    #3
    Eskorbuto, himmelstoss, another_user and 1 other person like this.
  4. Sep 2, 2015 #4
    Eskorbuto

    Eskorbuto Fapstronaut

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    If I were you I wouldn't be with that girl. I think that:

    1. She's testing you to know how masculine you are

    2. She wants to use you as her emotional rubbish box

    Anyway, I think that this girl needs to be alone for a long time and to discover what does she want in her life... The only thing that you are going to achieve from this relationship is to get depressed. I was with girl four years ago and she was talking to me about her EX everytime. In the end I splited up with her because it was toxic relationship. She was depressed and I couldn't support more time (9 months)

    Develope yourself, meditate what do you want in your life, reboot and step by step you will find the girl with you want to share your life. It is about a win-win paradigm. In that one that you explain is a win-lose paradigm: She wins in remove her shits with you, and you lose eating that shit.

    Remember this: Win-win or no treat!!

    Hugs!!
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2015
    Eskorbuto, Sep 2, 2015
    Eskorbuto, Sep 2, 2015
    #4

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