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Wow. Great insight and honesty. I really related when I read that and it helps get to the core of what is wrong. A lot of the porn addiction (I think) is a symptom of deeper problems (at least for me and likely many others). Feelings of worthlessness, failure and rejection. They ache every second in our hearts like a bad back and sometimes we just want that shot of dopamine to feel better, even if just for a moment.

 

Good luck. I know full well how career problems can make things 1000x tougher. Please take good care and love yourself, no matter what. Come back whenever you need support.

 

Ok, continuing with this. Finding it challenging because its making me feel uptight and aggressive. Although im not acting on the aggression it must be apparent to those who know me well. But on the upside I have loads of energy. So not all negative. Have occasions of strong urges, but persevere. Hope the aggressive feelings pass soon.

 

Day 1

this has got to be one of the toughest addictions to beat

 

It is difficult because we are hardwired for sex. It is one of the basic functions of the human body. What happened with me is that my reward circuitry changed so that a few pixels on the screen was reality. I was no longer interested in real women because it was much easier to get what I wanted with a click of a mouse. That is why I find it challenging as well.

As another poster stated I am taking it day-by-day and even minute-by-minute. I am flatlining and feel really tired these last few days, but know I need to go through with it to get to where I need to be. Emotionally I feel much more stable this past week.

 

Id like to start today. I need this!

 

I'm gonna start tommorow.

 

I started yesterday. Wish me luck

 

Day 24!

 

I'm in.

 

Well my last entry finished "Hope the aggressive feelings pass soon". They did, after another wet dream the next night! Then another wet dream the night after!! I felt the relief psychologically, but wet dreams can prove messy. A few years ago I gained a urine infection after a wet dream so always weary of this. Also 3 wet dreams in a couple of weeks, soon the wife is going to be asking difficult questions. I understand that the body has to release the semen and I have not had any sex whatsoever, so still going at the Hard mode even though this was never my intention when I started. I need to read more of the other threads to try and understand what is happening and what to expect in the coming weeks.

 

Going strong this time.

 

Started 3 days ago... I feel so tired but I'm going to continue no matter what! No PMO... That's what I'm telling myself in the shower all the time... Gambateh!

 

Day 18....going into hyper aggressive mode.

 

(start of) Day 7

 

In

 

It's two days I'm out of P and M actually but in reality it's more like day one since decided to start today.

 

Day 8

 

Day 10