Joined because of porn induced erectile dysfunction

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Ron Bigley, Feb 5, 2017.

Should I masturbate without porn if I am horny whilst rebooting?

  1. Yes

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. No

    5 vote(s)
    100.0%
  1. Ron Bigley

    Ron Bigley New Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone I'm Ron and I'm 16 from England. I have decided to join the community as I believe that I'm suffering from pied. I started masturbating when I was about 13 and have always masturbated to porn, ranging from one to twice a day. I have never had any sexual interactions with a girl, not even a kiss, and find it very hard even to talk to a girl, which I think stemmed from going to an all boys school for 5 years. Recently, I noticed, when masturbating to porn, that my erection was much softer and shorter lasting than it had ever been, and I was even struggling to get hard over porn. I tried masturbating several times without porn but found I couldn't even get an erection, and at this point, in December 2016, I decided it was time to reboot. I attempted to stop watching porn for a month, but was replapsing at least 3 times a week, however I have now not masturbated since 23rd January 2017. After two weeks in, I regularly have urges to masturbate and have sexual thoughts, but am yet to relapse which I am proud of.
    That is my story, however there are a few worries that I have and would love to be advised. Firstly, I have had urges to masturbate, and had thoughts about doing it without porn, but should masturbation be avoided if I'm trying to reboot? Secondly, if I shouldn't masturabte, how long should I abstain? Lastly, and most importantly, do you guys have any tips of how I can even have a normal conversation with a girl, as I feel that I become very shy and cannot be myself.
    I am delighted to have joined the community and would really appreciate your guidance and comments.
    Ron
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2017
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    @Ron Bigley, welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.

    Congratulations on not M'ing for two weeks! That's great.

    To answer your questions:
    1. This is going to be your call. There are some who believe M is fine while going through rebooting as long as you don't use P. There are others, myself included, who feel during the rebooting process, it is better to abstain from both to completely reset yourself back to factory settings.
    2. This goes with your choice from the answer above. If you choose the abstain from M, you would abstain the duration of however long you choose for rebooting. (Yes, it is possible not to M that long so don't believe you cannot last that long.)
    3. Work on you before attempting to bring someone else into your world right now. In the process, many gain a level of confidence not believed existed before.
    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
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  3. Ron Bigley

    Ron Bigley New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply @D.J.,
    At the moment, I try to avoid all sexually explicit content and try to keep my mind off of sexual thoughts when I get the urge to masturbate. Would you say that I would be rebooted after 90 days if I didn't masturbate? And how many days do you think it would take to reboot if I did masturbate? My final question is how could I find this confidence, as at college at the moment I try to avoid talking to any girl at all costs. I don't know where this shyness comes from, would you have any idea of how to combat it?
    Thanks, Ron
     
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    There is no exact science to to this because everyone is different; how long you have engaged in PMO, how long your sessions each time, what you are escaping or searching for comfort, the type of P you watch, etc. 6-8 is usually the time it takes to form new habits but. Any have found 90-days is a good goal to strive for to change your existing habits. Because you used P to M, the chances are greater that you will be drawn back to P if you continue M which will extend the time it will take to reach 90-days of sobriety. Because you haven't used PMO for that long, it may be easier but it may also be more difficult because you began during the beginning of puberty. Make no mistake even if if is easier does not mean it is easy. If it were easy, you wouldn't be here.

    Based on what I have just written, I cannot give you a day estimate of changing any variable. You will have to pick a a direction and begin and if that doesn't work, change along the way but if you change, change only once.

    Your confidence comes with accomplishment as well as becoming freer from addiction. As you accomplish days and weeks of sobriety you will begin to have the confidence of knowing you can do what you believed you could not previously do. Also as you free yourself from the grip of addiction, you may gain a confidence that was never there. Oftentimes guys will buy into the lie that unless you look like the guys in porn you will not have success with talking to girls. Do looks matter? Yes, to a degree but what girls, even those who may not be most attracted to you like more than anything else, is confidence.

    Gain confidence from this huge accomplishment you will have.
     
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  5. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Ron Bigley likes this.
  6. Ron Bigley

    Ron Bigley New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much that has really helped me out and given me confidence that I can do this :)
     
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  7. Ron Bigley

    Ron Bigley New Fapstronaut

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    Hi mate,
    I went no PMO for 2 weeks then relapsed until last week. My exams are coming up in about a months time, and I am trying to quit porn forever, however I have been having urges to masturbate to sexy images today. I want to try to avoid this, but not being able to masturbate when I have these urges makes me lose concentration to study. So I would like your advice on whether you think I should masturbate like normal now until after my exams, and then restart the no PMO after my exams to avoid this problem?
    Thanks
     
  8. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    That is going to have to be a personal decision. The frustration you are experiencing will be there whether you have exams or not. As you get closer to your exams, your stress level will continue to rise and using M to calm your nerves may not always be available. Since these are your exams. I cannot take the responsibility of telling you which decision to make but encourage you whichever decision you choose.
     
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