Joining after relapse (14 days later)

hey y'all

New member, 24. I've been a former depression patient and I still experience generalised anxiety slightly.
I started NoFap to curb my anxieties and gain self confidence; things that were badly missing from my life. I could not assert myself, could not approach girls, be extremely awkward and nervous around them, and in general feel lethargic and down.
After starting nofap fourteen days ago I'd started feeling a tinge of positivity and relief from anxiety as well as a trust in my abilities and strengths. I started waking up early and decided even to join the gym to gain muscle (I'm underweight).
Unfortunately today I relapsed. There are daily intermittent periods when I think about porn but I am able to overcome those temptations by watching motivational videos on YouTube. This time however I felt like it was a severe bout instead of just a fleeting, passing temptation. It was just so strong and random that it caught me off guard.
Right now I feel really remorseful and all my loftiness and ego have been shattered. I feel utterly shameful.
Just wanted to share this in order to vent the darkness inside right now

 

Thanks for the comforting words man.
Other than watching motivational videos, you can try watching documentaries that show the dark side of porn and how the industry works in atrocious, inhumane fashion by human trafficking exploit and even torture. That's what kept me afloat for 2 weeks.

hanks for the wo