Joining the fight

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by RTBFOP, Apr 20, 2019.


    RTBFOP Fapstronaut

    Hello everybody ill start by saying glad to be here. I wish I wasn't but I struggle with the same issues many of you do and really wonder how many more men are out there still in denial. That was me in denial. I actually found this site a couple years ago looked around read some stories and thought I'm not that bad porn isn't affecting my life. I quit for a short stretches but always went back. I didn't want to admit I had a problem. That is the first and maybe hardest step for me was getting past that. I knew I had lots of problems my brain knew and used porn and masturbation to try and cope for the past 15 years. I look back now at the past 10 years and hate myself for things I have done people I hurt, relationships I can never repair. For me is started like most just a kid looking at porn then continued I had relationships growing up I had what I consider good sex with out porn back then. Where i got into trouble was I started using porn to cope with anxiety stress and depression. Every time things would get tough in any situation i would go watch porn and jerk off make everything better. The real start downhill happened about 10 years ago. My girlfriend of 4 years got pregnant. Before that point we had regular and what I consider amazing sex. During and after her pregnancy sex slowed, we were young broke and having a baby so stress soared as did my porn usage. Well to sum it up after a year couple years we split up. I used to blame it on alot of things being young and stress of new baby but I know that is all bullshit now. I had started to love porn and not her. With the situation came more stress and more porn. Very painful but we both moved on. She found someone that loved her I kept using porn. I met my current girlfriend a couple years later. The first time we were going to have sex it didnt work because of PIED. I quit watching porn and masturbating for a few weeks and things improved. The past 5 years have been much of the same once the honeymoon phase was over and I started to have problems in our relationship and with my job I went back the the good old porn and masturbation to make it all better. We are still together but I feel our relationship has severely struggled. I actually broke down 2 years ago and told her I thought I might be addicted to porn. She laughed, she didn't know, she didn't understand. When she realized I was serious she was upset hurt and confused. We are still together and she is supportive of me. She really does love me and wants me to get through this. So that is why I want/need to do this. I can't hurt anymore innocent people with my addiction
    So there is a long short introduction. Feels good to get some of that off my chest and out in the open. I am hoping that with the support of this site and some hard work i can beat this and eventually be writing a success story like all the ones I have read.
    Realquiter likes this.
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    Welcome! I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry no one welcomed you sooner.

    My story isn't like yours, but there are a lot of guys who have similar stories. We're all in this together! Keep coming back, and if I can help, let me know.

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