Jonny's Journal of Recovery

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Johnny_Neruda, Jun 2, 2015.

  1. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Good afternoon from a UK Fapstronaut!

    Today is Day 2 in my fourth or fifth attempt at completing a 90 day hard mode recovery, my longest streak previously having been 2 weeks or so.

    This is the attempt that is going to count, and I'm serious about my efforts this time.

    This thread will journal my daily progress and my experiences, challenges, successes and thoughts along the journey.

    I approach with a sense of positive optimism not of dread. the challenges I overcome will be what makes my character stronger, not the periods of coasting on easy street. I'm excited to share the journey with you all and wish you the very best in your respective journeys and trials and would hope to receive likewise in mine.

    Day 2 down, no real problems or major urges thus far.

    See you tomorrow,

    Jonny
     
    Getter Better likes this.
  2. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 2 down. Hello day 3.

    Had some cravings last thing at night whilst laying in bed, but otherwise no real challenges so far. I know for me it's usually after 5 days to a week that it starts to become more difficult.

    See you tomorrow
     
    Getter Better likes this.
  3. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 3 down. Hello day 4.

    No major cravings yesterday. I think a key factor at the moment is how incredibly busy I'm keeping myself. I got in from work at 6pm yesterday and then went straight out to a public speaking group I attend, then went straight to the gym meaning I didn't get in until 11pm - I literally did not have the energy to fap even if I had wanted to lol.

    I think keeping busy in the first few weeks is going to be key, but not so busy that I burn out and lose willpower.

    Regarding changes, I haven't noticed any changes in my mood or energy levels as of yet.

    See you tomorrow.
     
  4. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 4 down, welcome to Day 5.

    No cravings at all, I feel my libido has dropped pretty sharply since the middle of the day yesterday and today. I wonder if this is the beginning of a very early flatline or just related to training too hard in the gym with too little exercise...

    Bring on day 6.
     
  5. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 5 over, hello day 6.

    Feel like I'm flatlining for sure now, no libido whatsoever. I went out on the town talking to girls last night and could recognise they were attractive but felt no compulsion to pursue them. It admittedly made me very relaxed and lacking in self-consciousness but I could not say assisted in any pick up attempts as there was no purpose to my interactions.

    7 days tomorrow!
     
  6. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 7.

    I thought I had entered an early flatline but today I have been Horny as fuck so I guess not. Still keeping myself ultra busy and out of the house where possible which is helping a lot.

    Day 8 beckons!
     
  7. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 8 down, lacking massively in much needed sleep so it's hard to tell what I would really be feeling today if I was rested! Woke up with morning wood for te first time in quite some which was a pleasant surprise. I'm hoping my reboot might be more like 90 days rather than the 6 months it can take some guys who started Young (I was 13, now 24, had a pc in my room but also regular sex with a girlfriend from 17-23)

    Day 9 tomorrow!
     
  8. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 9 today.

    Totally devoid of any libido, it's weird how up and down it has been over the last couple of days. I'm well rested now at least so I can rule out sleep deprivation's effects. Still feeling motivated.

    10 days tomorrow!
     
  9. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 10.

    It weird but I woke up with morning wood, yet have absolutely no sex drive.

    Anyway I'm pleased I'm at day 10! 4 more days to the 2 week mark and currently 1/9th of the way towards my goal. Meticulously measuring my day by day progress is helping to keep me focused.

    See you tomorrow.
     
  10. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 11

    I'm Pretty convinced that Im flatlining now as I had no morning wood, my dick seems to have shrivelled somewhat and I have no libido. Again it's that sense of seeing a girl and understanding that they are attractive but having no feelings of sexual impulse or drive toward them.

    Day 12 tomorrow, gotta ride through this flat line!
     
  11. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 12.

    Shrivelled penis, no libido, this sucks is all i can think. Really scared when I read reports from some of the guys on here who have flatlined and ED even after 8 months of noFap.

    Have to stay positive and trust in the process and path that has been beaten before me.

    See you tomorrow.
     
  12. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 13.

    Interestingly enough I woke up with morning wood, at maybe 50-60% strength. Definitely not wood like in my young teenage years but a welcome positive boost considering my penis has felt fucking DEAD for a while now.

    Still no libido but my mood has been great yesterday and today. Much of this will be because I'm focusing on eating clean and exercising vigorously I'm sure but from all the success stories I've read an important practice seems to be using your new found spare time productively which creates a synergistic effect of keeping you away from p and creating a positive mindset to get you through r tougher periods.

    See you tomorrow.
     
  13. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 14.

    So last night I went out on the town, and ended up making out with a girl. It was pretty cool but she kind of led the interaction, I think my non-chalance (I literally was not bothered if she was attracted/kissed me) came across as quite attractive and she ended up chasing me a bit. So after a while I pulled her in for the male out. To cut a long story short we hit dance floor where I made out a bit more and got a minor erection which is really pleasing after struggling to even get an erection in the presence of a naked girl who was hotter in my bedroom before this NoFap challenge! I see it as a minor step in progress, and I think surrounding myself regularly with attractive women in real life situations will assist in rewiring my brain away from p and towards real girls more quickly than keeping myself in isolation.

    Cheers. Two weeks down. See you tomorrow
     
  14. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 15.

    Not much to report really. no real changes since yesterday.

    I have noticed a difference over the past couple of days at work and my ability to focus intensely for long periods of time has improved, but this could also be a result of improved diet and exercise.

    See you tomorrow.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2015
  15. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 16. Been feeling a bit frustrated and moody today. still high levels of concentration at work. Not much else to say really!

    See you tomorrow
     
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  16. Shoshin

    Shoshin Fapstronaut

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    I'm following your journal man! Keep up with it!
     
  17. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Thank you mate, I appreciate the encouragement :)
     
  18. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 17

    So today has been a good day :) woke up with the strongest morning wood I've had for a loooong time. I'd say probably 70% strength. Nice surprise, considering.

    Im not going to allow myself to get attached to this though. If I don't get morning wood for the next 7, or however many days, it's no big deal. My brain is healing at its own pace.
     
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  19. Johnny_Neruda

    Johnny_Neruda Fapstronaut

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    Day 18.

    MW again, at maybe 50-60% strength.

    Still not feeling particularly much libido.

    Another effect of doing this ive noticed is that I find maintaining laser eye contact with people in general or even attractive girls absolutely effortless, whereas I consciously noticed it and had to make myself maintain it previously. Could be placebo or unrelated but I see that a lot of fapstronauts have reported a similar effect!

    See you tomorrow.
     
  20. Shoshin

    Shoshin Fapstronaut

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    Man! It's awesome to read your journal! Cause I think we are going mor or less at the same pace and it's really cool to see that! Whenever you need to talk! I'm here, just throw me a line! I'm also allowing my brain and libido to recover at their own speed! That's the best way! You should post more about your healthy habits and activities! Actually I could use some advise for healthy recipes :)

    Keep up man!
     
    Johnny_Neruda likes this.

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