Jonny's Journal of Recovery

Thanks mate ! Yes I agree it's cool to see somebody going at a similar pace, and also extra motivation not to fall off the wagon so I can keep up

Regarding healthy habits and eating, I vaguely follow the Body-4-Life exercise plan, which is upper body weights Monday, cardio (I do kickboxing) Tuesday,lower body weights Wednesday, kickboxing Thurs, upper body Friday, kickboxing Saturday I find it is easier to continue going to the gym when it's a daily habit rather than a vague commitment to go 'twice a week' as breaking the habit and not going is actually tougher than just bloody turning up!

Also research has suggested it takes 66 days on average to create a solid habit (as opposed to the widely touted 21 days as suggested by a lot of self help literature) so for any guys trying to create new habits, the first two months can be hard but after then these behaviours should become more or less automatic!

Improving diet also has the effect of accelerating the rate at which your brain regenerates and heals itself (see the book The Ultramind Solution) so I think in terms of what we are all setting out to accomplish in this community, nutrition is surely something that should not be overlooked

Cheers!

Johnny

 

Day 19.

No MW today but no worries at all, just thought I should mention it for the benefit of anybody following the journal.

No real differences from yeaterday, I think I find myself thinking about real girls and ways to meet them more than I have been, but at the same time I have so little spare time I'm not really sure!

Twenty days tomorrow, 3 weeks coming up fast!

 

Day 20.

So I went out by myself last night, really good night and I met a group of girls and one girl in particular who I really plowed with for over an hour but couldn't get the kiss despite her seemingly being attracted!! I mention this because normally I either stick with interactions with girls if they go to plan, but eject if they don't go smoothly the way I planned, however I think as a man it's absolutely necessary sometimes to really just keep going and go for the kiss and the number, guys who don't give up are the ones who become successful in this world. I think my brain is realising the new reality that real girls will be the only form of sexual release and that going home early will not provide this relief/release which is only a good thing.

Anyway not much else to say other than that!

See you tomorrow.

 

Day 21,

So I didn't get a chance to update my journal yeaterday but still going strong.

I went to a house party and got with this gorgeous blonde girl, and she was definitely up for more than just kissing but I didn't have the confidence to try anything, given my last experience with taking a girl back to my house.

I do need to remember that I'm only 3 weeks into what is a 12 week minimum process, cut myself a bit of slack here.

Day 22, I woke up this morning in the middle of a sexual dream (the first one I have been aware of in my journey so far) and with MW at maybe 75% strength which was awesome and the strongest so far, also the first for a few days!!

 

Thanks mate

No real w/d symptoms other than fluctuating moods: happy one day then down and easily annoyed the next, then happy again the next then down for the next 3 days, etc. I'm not a depressive person really, or a person with an oscillating mood in this way so this has been an unusual experience/side effect.

 

Day 23.

Strangely I woke up this morning in the midst of a sexual dream for the second day in a row, with perhaps 75% strength MW. Really surprising considering before embarking on this reboot I never seemed to have dreams of this nature, and super rarely did I get MW.

 

Hahahah I know it's pretty homoerotic but I feel it's necessary to share warts and all for firstly my own reference - ultimately this journal is for me, but also for anybody who wants to see an in depth journal of somebody who has watched P from the age of 12 with probaby milder P related symptoms and PIED than quite a few of the guys here simply because I had sex fairly regularly from 17-23, but have been affected by it nonetheless particularly in recent times.

Cheers
Johnny

 

Day 24,

No MW or anything today which was a bit of a relief to be fair as I had some vasocongestion (blue balls) which was a little uncomfortable yesterday evening lol...

Nothing else to report.

See you tomorrow.

 

Day 25,

Same as yesterday. Nothing to report really. Really low on energy today for some reason despite eating clean, drinking plenty of water and getting 8.5 hours of sleep. Just started taking 5-htp supplements but I doubt this is related.

 

Day 26,

Energy levels normal again today, sex drive stable as it has been - I'm mostly indifferent but still notice attractive girls. Not much else to report!

Something I haven't really mentioned throughout this journal have been whether or not I have experienced 'urges' to PMO, or struggled against them. Well the honest answer is that since I made a FULL COMMITMENT to get through the 90 days, I havent really suffered any, although it did cross my mind a couple of times earlier on but that was more from the draw of habit, at certain times of day than a true desire to do it. Having an absolute fucking commitment to get through the 90 days, not some obscure wishy-washy 'I'd really quite like to do this, I really hope I can!' is key, as it is in anything.

This guy's 100+ days thread was a big motivator btw, definitely worth a read if any of you haven't read it yet http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/over-100-days-of-nofap.18284/

Cheers,
See you tomorrow.

 

Day 27.

Nothing to report other than a minor increase in sex drive - could be the rare red hot sunshine we've just had in the UK!

See your tomorrow.

 

Day 28,

Going well, definitely feeling an upward trajectory in my sex drive. Got a boner from looking at a photo of a really attractive girl (fully clothed, and not in any sort of overly provocative pose) which has not happened since I was probably 14 lol! Another sign that my brain is moving in the right direction

See you tomorrow.

 

Day 29.

So close now to a major milestone of 30 days, which represents a 1/3rd of the reboot down

 

Day 30!!! (Late posting this)

1/3rd of the 90 day challenge down!

Yesterday was actually the closest I came to breaking by FAR. I went back to see my mother in the city she lives in, and I still have a room there... With my old PC. Anyway, I log on my account on the pc on the evening and load up my internet browser, and click bookmarks with no memory of what was on there... And I have a TON of highly explicit bookmarks to all the old genres of P I used to watch. Holy shit, temptation to the max :/ I had like a state of paralysis where my brain was trying to create all these rationalisations for why I should or shouldn't click the links... 'Don't do it, you've come too far', 'ah but I'll just have a quick watch of it, and not MO...', 'but you will cave in as soon as you start watching it, and watching it is the main issue anyway!'

Anyway after about a minute in this state of paralysis and indecision, I opened bookmarks manager and deleted it all, loaded up a boomtastic deep house track and lay on my bed to chill.

Anyway, fuck yes, thank God I got over that little hurdle. I highly recommend others starting their reboot think carefully about any potential triggers and take steps at the beginning o the reboot to limit your exposure to them.

Anyway that was that, day 31 today!

See you tomorrow.

 

Day 31 & 32,

Over and out.

 

Up to day 35 now, back in a flatline (woop ).

Oh well, still going and absolutely no temptation to even peek at P since my testing moment a week or so back that was definitely a make or break point in my journey.

See you soon