Journal - Maybe one day I will be...

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Shatteredsoul, Aug 2, 2019.

  1. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

    613
    284
    63
    I had that, it was like why do that if no sex. It was bait here also but for nothing on the hook.
     
  2. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

    613
    284
    63
    Its awful when they do that, mine was the same way!
     
  3. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    I can hear the sorrow behind your anger. If your husband is like me, he probably also regrets that it took him so long to wake up and you're both in grief, as my wife and me are. It's such a devastating addiction.
    My wife is still dealing with her grief, I am too and we are working on it in counseling together. After a year of each of us trying to process emotions and me understanding what happened and changing my life, we're starting what feels like a new relationship and is completely different in many respects. I wish you will be able to do that with your husband or another person who hasn't got the burden of PA.
     
  4. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,348
    1,869
    143
    He regrets it more than words can say. Now that he’s been clean, he sees himself in a far different light of the kind of husband he has been. He doesn’t like what he sees and he’s working hard to be the man God designed and called him to be. We too, have what feels like and honestly is a new and different relationship. Counseling has helped. I will never, ever, be in a romantic relationship again. I will never say wedding vows again. He once asked me to renew our vows, I told him no. I meant them the first time and clearly he did not, so why would I ever do that again? The man he is now, a year and a half later, is a man that any woman would be proud and happily married to. I pray he continues in his recovery. My recovery may take longer, lol.
     
  5. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    I think so too. In a book about PA I read that it is toughest for the partners. And knowing how hard it is for me, I can see how hard it must be for my wife as it is for you. The secrecy is the worst, she says, not knowing, not being informed all those years. In hindsight I am wondering why I didn't tell her while there were so many chances. My mind was tricking me, I guess. Not as an excuse, but as a matter of fact.
     
  6. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    1,348
    1,869
    143
    Yes, the first 5 years of our marriage, I thought I was going crazy. Once I discovered what he was doing, I was relieved to know that I wasn’t crazy and my gut instinct was right. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any help or even any understanding of porn/sex addiction, so he continued. The lies were and are the worst. He’s been a year and a half clean, my gut is always right, but learning to believe it has been hard. His recovery really started 5 years ago, not addressing porn at that time but him working through depression, ocd, adhd. Then a year and a half ago we discovered it was an addiction and that was when he started seeing a csat and going to sa groups. He has been growing/healing by leaps and bounds, me not so much. My csat says this is very normal. She said 3-5 years for me. She said once the addict hits 2 years clean the odds of relapse is very small.
     
    LoveIsAllWeNeed likes this.
  7. Shatteredsoul

    Shatteredsoul Fapstronaut

    59
    43
    18
    I am drunk maybe.


    *deleted... probably shouldn't write these types of things down.. especially in that state
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2020
  8. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

    613
    284
    63
    Are you ok? I have been in your shoes, I am so sorry your in this position.
     
  9. Shatteredsoul

    Shatteredsoul Fapstronaut

    59
    43
    18
    Not really right now. Thanks...
    I'm sorry you have been there too.
     
  10. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

    613
    284
    63
    A penis that does not work, wrecks our self confidence and makes us feel horrible..
     
    Shatteredsoul likes this.
  11. Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

    613
    284
    63
    A non normal sex life makes us nuts too!
     
  12. Shatteredsoul

    Shatteredsoul Fapstronaut

    59
    43
    18
    Yeah, it does.. I broke out in hives on my legs again last night..which hasn't happened for a while.

    My bf and I just had a conversation about how I didn't have the confidence to initiate anymore and I dont feel like he wants me etc.. he told me how much he does and I should have the confidence, etc etc.. then less than a week later I try and he literally tells me to stop because he doesn't know or think he'll get aroused (mind you I crawled across the floor wearing nothing waist down while he was on the couch across from me) he looks down at me and straight turns me down. Who fuckin does that!? How embarrassing.

    The thing is, is that if there's any physical touch on either side it works just fine.. just not visually which I dont understand since the screen of girls don't touch him and he doesn't touch them and there didnt seem to be a problem!
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2020

Share This Page