Journal of beating PAWS/Flatline!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by sikreodds97, Aug 13, 2020.

  1. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 205: About to enter my 7th Month. Mentally i feel still terrible, i have maybe had 2-3 good days during these 7 months where i feel like my dopamine receptors actually works a little bit. If i dont feel different after 24 months then im going to take action and probably start microdosing or do TRT if my test is low which i suspect it is. But lets hope i soon breakthrough and this has been paws all along
     
  2. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 212: 7 Months, and i feel worse. I cant be bothered anymore.
     
  3. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

    2,413
    649
    113
  4. DGZ

    DGZ Fapstronaut

    177
    254
    63
    Have you checked your testosterone, estrogen, etc. ?
     
  5. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43

    I havent. I do expect my hormones to be all messed up. However i dont see the solution to get checked because the only option they can give is TRT and im defiently not ready to go that route. I still have that hope and kinda belief that my huge PMO addiction messed up my hormones and the reboot period will balance those hormones again. Im gonna give this streak 2 years and if im not better i will consider going against my beliefs and will and go the big pharma way even tho it hurts everything i stand for lol
     
  6. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
  7. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 223: Depression been a little bit better these past 3 days. Been having more urges too so need to stay focused.
     
  8. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 231: Had lots of sexual thoughts yesterday and tonight i had a big wet dream. First one in about 2+ months i think. Kinda sucks. Need to be more alert.
     
  9. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 234: Not much to report. Had that big wet dream. Not having morning wood anymore but having an ok libido. Libido is not important to me. The anhedonia and social anxiety is. It kinda stays with me, it hasnt been too bad lately. its been decent, still hoping i can bounce back and feel like my old self :) Lets see what happens.
     
  10. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 238: Nothing major to report. Just used to this PAWS reality or whatever it is. Depression/anxiety. Gonna go to 2 years hard mode and if its not better than im gonna go the pharma route and probably destroy my life but who cares. I cant feel like this anymore and if 2 years doesnt make me feel normal again then clearly my paws is not cureable. Im convinced im one of the most severe paws cases out there, i severely ruined my brain with pmo'ing 6 times a day and smoking weed. It sucks, it truly does. But who knows, a miracle can happen if i stay hard mode.
     
  11. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 243: 8 Months! Had a wet dream this morning.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  12. Mokoulou

    Mokoulou Fapstronaut

    12
    4
    3
    How you feel bro. Still anhedonia, anxiety et depression??
     
  13. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Yeah man unfortunally. It never leaves me, so im used to it. Somedays is of course worse than others. But its not like the beginning where i had superpowers before flatline.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  14. Mokoulou

    Mokoulou Fapstronaut

    12
    4
    3
    Damn man. It's scary but you gotta hang in there because one day it will go away as people reported more lengthy Paws some of which may take 2 to 3 years. A'd try not to fantasize even if it is real life based. And are you having sex or not. Because in my case when I feel like my libido is a little bit present, my depression and my anxiety tend to fade completely and I feel like the king of the world. But to get used to this you have to rewire my man. I know the panic attack this idea can create but we don't have any other choice if we want to enjoy life again. I, myself, will go a 90 days, and after that I will try to rewire with prostitute to make me feel comfortable and then looking for a a steady girlfriend because nowadays I am so nervous around women you can't even imagine man when I am alone with a girl this panic attack almost fucks my chest up so that's my plan. And I will report this after I am done with it.
    Sorry for any mistake cause I am not a native speaker
     
  15. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43

    I have lost a lot of belief in PAWS. Sometimes i think im just damaged permentantly because its been so long. But i have hope of course thats why i fight everyday to keep this lifestyle going and to not return to my relapse ways. Good luck bro!
     
    Freeddom_Taker and Mokoulou like this.
  16. As somebody who has wasted many years and many dollars using the services of the sex industry I would strongly advise against this. I would be willing to bet that this will not solve any of your problems.
     
    Mokoulou and sikreodds97 like this.
  17. Mokoulou

    Mokoulou Fapstronaut

    12
    4
    3
    Thanks brother. I appreciate it.
     
  18. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 247: 8 months and 7 days. Been having it kinda rough lately.
     
  19. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

    184
    239
    43
    Day 251: Got to be honest, been having a big wave of stress anxiety depression. Its horrible and started about a week ago or two weeks ago. Stress from work has been making it so much worse. I wake up everyday and wonder what i did to deserve this life. No real friends, no girlfriend, brain chemistry fucked, hormones fucked, social anxiety, balding, etc etc etc. It hurts my soul. I dont think i have any trauma in my life, but i remember being depressed and anxious as a kid too but not like this. I dont feel anything. If i wasnt spiritual i wouldhave commited suicide by now. I fapped 6 times a day from before puberty, i feel beyond fucked even 4 years into this journey with different streaks. Im nearly done, i dont know what to do.
     
  20. jayyad

    jayyad Fapstronaut

    69
    59
    18
    You have to keep going, if your going through hell, keep going.
     
    sikreodds97 and Freeddom_Taker like this.

Share This Page