I heard a great analogy yesterday. I had to take my youngest child to a youth psychologist as he's struggling with a number of issues lately, problems at school, smoking pot everyday, in trouble with the police and the latest he's been doing is cutting. The man he seen was lovely and my son liked him so I hope the coming weeks he'll be able to help guide him in a better direction. He was explaining to my son the process of how they work there and said I'd like to draw something because it's easier to understand my point. He drew two mountains, and then him climbing up one mountain and my son climbing up the other. He said we are both here in life dealing with all our stuff and our problems, he said I'm not perfect and I have stuff I'm trying to work out and goals that I'd like to achieve etc....he said we are both trying to get to the top of our mountains and I'm not here to force you or to make you do anything that you don't want to do. I'm only here to make some suggestions, maybe give you some ideas, or help you see some things you may not be able to see right now. He said but there's one thing we both need to understand. He said at no point am I ever going to climb down my mountain and come and push you up yours and at no point will I ever expect you to climb down yours to help push me up my mountain. He said what we can do though, is call out to one another and help each other take the next step. He said, I might see a ledge or crevice that I can guide you to grab on to because you may be to close to even see it and you might do the same for me. We can encourage and support and be there for one another, and help each other get to the top. When I heard that Analogy, I just loved it!! And I've thought about it a lot since. Over the past near decade, I can't count how many times I have climbed down my own mountain at my own expense to help push my husband up his own mountain in relation to his porn addiction, his masturbation addiction and his intimacy anorexia. Although I'm more aware of it these days, his problems and how they affect me, still gets in the way of me being able to be the best person I can possibly be and to reach my full potential and to achieve everything I can as a person. His issues still get me down, I still suffer trauma, I still have so much uncertainty of the future and it has hugely affected my self esteem, my happiness, my inner peace and just everything really - frame of mind, anxiety....the list could go on. But yeah, it was a great ANALOGY I thought.....and today's message to myself. I am not climbing down my mountain ever again to help push my husband or anyone else for that matter to get up there's. I'm exhausted and I'm not getting anywhere in my own life. From now on I'm focusing and climbing up my own mountain ALWAYS!! I'll help support and suggest idea's where I can but ultimately it's him that has to push himself up and be the driving force up his own mountain!!! And my son too of course has to do that, but yeah I just couldn't help but apply this to my Adult Child as well.