Yes, this is how I feel about it too. I don't think he's being OBJECTIVE at all. As it says below being objective is removing your feelings from the situation and dealing with the facts. objective /əbˈdʒɛktɪv/ adjective (of a person or their judgement) not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts. "historians try to be objective and impartial" All he says is he can't remember things clearly enough so he has to trust his feelings. If he was addicted back then, those feelings are most likely distorted due to addicted self-deceptive thinking. He started looking at porn (mags) at age 12-13 and videos (when they got a VHS player) a year or 2 later. Left home around 18 was in 2 long-term relationships between 18 - 28 both of which were about 3 years in duration but CAN'T OBJECTIVELY say whether he was addicted to porn or not back then or whether he was hiding it from them or not. We talked more about it all this morning. Mainly about the last girlfriend before I met him. There was about a 1 year gap. He's now saying if he tries to look at it objectively, at the facts he can remember, then it's POSSIBLE that he was ADDICTED back then and it's POSSIBLE he was hiding it from her. But he won't for a second commit to that. Because if he TRUSTS his OBJECTIVE VIEW on it now of how it was back then, he feels like he's LYING to himself. His feelings on it are he wasn't hiding it, even though the facts say he probably was. And that he was just a private person and other male friends were all looking at stuff and had magazines hanging around in the open etc and so it wasn't a big deal. Also, he ASSUMES his girlfriend wouldn't have had an issue with it because for instance, her and her sister once sent him to a strip club to keep an eye on the sister's boyfriend because the sister didn't trust him and didn't want him to go. Also this ex was never bothered for instance, if they went to the beach and there was someone topless down there. I said could this be that she just trusted you that you wouldn't be getting aroused and getting off on other women behind her back. Answer - Possibly. My concern is how can he WORK his recovery and make REAL progress if he can't or refuses to look at anything porn related from an OBJECTIVE point of view. He says he can but always has to trust his feelings over objectiveness where he can't remember. And I can tell you from experience everything is a constant "I don't know" or "I can't remember". It always has been. It's like he's stuck in constant LOOP of "Can't remember" or "Don't know"