So, it’s 3:07 am where I am living and I have to get up at 7:10, I have to take oral exam early in the morning. Being the idiot that I am, I relapsed just only after a one day streak, pathetic. Basically, my goal is to journal my period in the course of 30 days, with certain points: - Praying at least five times a day - Physical exercises - Gaining knowledge, at least a small part of it. If you believe in Christ and Lord Almighty, please pray for me. I got a flu and I just relapsed I have to go to work tomorrow, I just can’t imagine how shitty this day will be, but I will make it! I will journal everyday myprogress!
Day 0 is complete. A wild one, overslept for my oral exam my mom woke me up, what an awful experience, however my professor was kind enough to hear me out and gave me four. Went to work, felt bad and good at the same time, tried to pray in my head but couldn’t do it for a longer period of time as thoughts of me failing again and relapse cycle began to appear in my head. Tried not to check out girls on the street, but it’s difficult I got so undisciplined. Unfortunately, bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked three of them, I’m also battling this addiction and devil won this one, then came home and watched football match and intense workout session, done some college work and now I’m quite tired in my bed. To sum up: -Praying at least five times a day ✅ -Physical exercises ✅ -Gaining knowledge ✅ (interesting video on YouTube) All power to the God Almighty and his son Jesus Christ who died for our sins. See ya tomorrow, pray for me.
Day 1 is complete. Not quite what I intended, I was basically busy throughout the whole day, had online classes from 8 to 16:30, after that went for a two hour walk. Unfortunately, i was smoking a lot today, and when I was getting home I threw out my pack with three cigarettes in it I think. After returning home I was quite lazy, I could use that time for praying or working out however, I spent almost an hour laying my bed in my phone. After that I decided to watch a movie which might be useful for my exam. I am a bit ashamed and angry that I look at women on the street, I also felt anxiety when I left home, however God’s grace helped me to get through and I got home in a relatively good mood. Maybe it was also because of conversation with my ex on the phone, I broke up with her. Because of my porn addiction, but she still loves me, however I feel we can’t be together, I must change to deserve love. She’s goofy and very capricious but still she made my soul a bit calmer. -Praying at least five times a day ✅ (Weak prayers, very short ones but I think there were five. I hope so! ) -Physical exercises ❌ (failed to exercise, not proud of it) -Gaining knowledge ❌ (Unfortunately, it was a busy day, but I know it’s not an excuse) Lord Almighty, I love you. Please, let me feel your grace and bless me with your wisdom, strength and mindset. in Jesus almighty name, Amen!
Day 2 is complete. Pretty boring day, my semester is coming to an end and I’m headed for the exam session, I’m a bit worried and nervous because my uni decided that most important exams should take place on campus. From this day, in addition to my regular praying routine in which I ask Almighty to grace with me his strength and determination in this battle against the flesh, I will also pray that he will give me a successful exam session. Had a pretty intense workout this morning and was hoping that me and my brother will hit the gym later, but unfortunately he got sick, I could have gone on my own, but I decided to stay at home and read some summary. Besides, I feel a bit insecure about being there on my own, I’m a pretty skinny guy so that’s where it’s coming from, I guess. I watched “The Great Gatsby” tonight, as it was based on a novel that might be on my literature exam, very interesting plot, after the end I realized that no one and nothing is more powerful than God. Your money, status, influence and position in social hierarchy are nothing when compared to God’s force, glory be to Him. -Praying at least five times a day ✅ (could have made my prayers more effective and my desires more clear) -Physical exercises ✅ (Amazing morning workout, too bad I didn’t go to the gym, as I will probably miss it tomorrow too, since EURO’s starting and before that I have work.) -Gaining knowledge ✅ Glory be to the Almighty God. Thank you for another day of my life, everyday is a gift and your grace, I love you so much. Forgive me, I’m a sinner, but I will pray and praise you to the end of my life! Amen!
Day 3 is complete. Pretty busy, had a bit low energy today. All my classes are officially over, and on Monday I got two serious exams which I’m a bit stressed about, throughout the weekend I will try to study as much as possible. Today, when I got home from work I didn’t workout, basically had no time since I was hanging out with my brother and we watched some football. I’m a bit ashamed that I haven’t prayed five times. That’s the least I can do.... That’s all for today, I’m exhausted -Praying five times a day ❌ (Lord, forgive me) -Physical exercises ❌ -Gaining knowledge ❌ I love you Lord Almighty. Please take care of me, day 4 is the hardest for me, I need your protection. Please God before me, I’m a sinner! Amen!
Day 4 is complete. Went to work today, a bit stressful but finished earlier luckily, after that I came home and fell asleep before EURO started. What can I say? Today’s situation on football pitch in Copenhagen was a miracle, I saw how fragile life is and I was sincerely begging God to let Christian Eriksen live. I remember that I said in my prayer that I can sacrifice all of my streaks and determination for living a better lifestyle just for this great athlete’s life. I bet many people were praying and this situation is a clear proof that God hears and helps, great reaction by paramedics and team’s unity were a God’s grace. I got very emotional, so until the rest of the day I was a bit exhausted and I didn’t do any physical exercises. Again.... However, tomorrow I plan to wake up early and do my best, before all the matches start so I can have more time for praying, studying and relaxing. -Physical exercises ❌ - Praying at least five times a day ✅ (Glory be to God!) -Gaining knowledge ❌/✅ (Yes and no, I just refreshed my memory before the test, so I would say I didn’t gain any new knowledge, but I also didn’t waste time.) Lord Almighty! I love you and I accept you in my heart and soul. I know you make miracles and I beg you to save my twisted and sinful soul. Amen! Glory be to God!
Hi, hope you don't mind me commenting! But I just wanted to say that I've been encouraged following this and I want to encourage you in return. When you watch Athletes in the EUROs or anywhere, recall that the Bible often uses the discipline of an athlete as an analogy for our battles and Christian life, so in a way we can look to athletes for motivation in our fight against temptation. Keep running the race and fighting the good fight! "24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." - 1 Corinthians 9:24-25 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1-2 (See also 11-13) "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." - 2 Timothy 4:7
Hello, brother! You don’t even know how happy I am that my struggle and this journaling encourages at least one person. I hope you are doing well on your journey and God is with you. Yes! I completely agree with you, athletes are a great example of strong body and strong will. Since I was a child football players were always an inspiration for me, but this tournament I look at them through different lens, I notice that many of them are warriors of Christ, which thank God for a goal and I think that’s inspiring. Thank you for this comment, you inspired me to keep going and fight for Lord’s grace. God bless you!
Day 5 is complete. My days pretty much look the same right now, however today I decided to get up early and workout. I’m pretty happy about that, however I think my performance could have been better, but every bit of performance is the grace of God and I thank Him for that. Tomorrow I have two important exams one is an oral one, the topic is American literature I pretty much read almost all of the assigned books, and those that I haven’t are thoroughly summed up by me, so I count on God’s help and ask Him to help me tomorrow. -Physical exercises ✅ -Praying at least five times a day ✅ (God, I love you. Please save me from this sinful way and show me the light.) -Gaining knowledge ❌ (It could have been better) Lord Almighty, I’m tired of constant failure and suffering. Devil and his temptations are trying to get me under his control, but I revolt against evil realities of modernity Lord and beg you to take me into your arms and save from these evil conditions of today’s world. I feel tempted and feel quite nervous because of the exams and because I might lose my streak, but I praise you God and I know that you are one and only source of happiness, and you are my Lord and savior. In Jesus Almighty name, Amen!
Day 6 is complete. What a busy day, I got up early and took an oral exam, I was very stressed about it but Lord heard all my prayers, and let me not only pass this test, but also get an A! I thank you for that Lord Almighty! Later I had another test which was a written one, a bit difficult, but I managed to pass. After that I concentrated on relaxing and exercising, watching matches and doing push-ups. Sometime later I decided to go the gym on my own for the first time, previously I went only with my brother, but since he got a small flu I thought it would be a good idea. Had an intense workout session and decided to go to the gym more frequently (at least three times a week). -Praying at least five times a day ✅ -Physical exercises ✅ - Gaining new knowledge ❌ (haven’t read anything unfortunately) Lord Almighty, please I’m approaching day seven, I feel like a loaded gun which is about to explode anytime. Please Lord, kill this devil inside me I only believe you and I count on your grace, Lord Almighty. Save me from satanic manipulations. In Jesus Almighty name, amen!
Relapse Relapsed twice today. I have no words, tomorrow i have an oral exam for which I didn’t prepare. I was doing so well for these past seven days, today I didn’t pray at all. I woke up with an overwhelming feeling of lust and when I came home I just gave in. God, when will this end? Jesus Almighty in eight days I’ll be back in uni for my exam, I’ll see my colleagues there and I wanted to have so much energy, but I failed. My only hope is that I will withstand in Lord’s name for this period of time. God forgive me, I’m such a sinner I wasted so much time and energy. I feel horrible, I feel like I have felt during my teenage years in high school, after masturbarting three times a day. Horrible, weak minded, God how will I go to the gym after this and look people in the eyes?
Day 0 is finished Felt horrible throughout this day, had a good one week streak, but relapsed. Had an oral exam in the morning I passed it successfully, but my session is not over yet. I want this to be over, I want to have a new refreshed mindset, my dream is to be a fit and strong man with strong principles and moral values. God help me, please -Physical exercises ❌ -Praying at least five times a day ✅ - Gaining new knowledge ✅
Day 1 is finished. Had an exam, then pretty much did nothing. In the evening I went to the gym with my brother, oh Lord please save me from lust I beg you. Again it feels like I’m too weak. I need you God, please help me and save me. -Physical exercises ✅ -Praying at least five times a day ✅ -Gaining new knowledge ❌
Day 2 is finished. I’m so tired I can’t even write anything. I love you God every day of chastity is a blessing.
Day 3 is complete. This day was hard, I had to pray in order to overcome my struggles. Currently, I’m quite nervous because of upcoming exam on Monday, I have to memorize 100 exam questions and I have only one day for that. I pray to Lord Almighty that he will help me and that he will let me be strong in this stressful situation, despite my tendency to relapse when I’m overwhelmed with stress. -Praying at least five times a day ✅ -Physical exercises ✅ (Weak, but not bad morning workout) - Gaining new knowledge ✅ (Started to watch “Death of a Salesman”, a great play! Also a lot of information from exam questions) Lord Almighty, I beg you to rescue me my soul from this struggle. I beg you to help me overcome this addiction and help me during my last two exams. I pray to you God and ask you for help, please give me strength to pass these exams. I beg you, Lord Almighty! In Jesus Christ name. Amen.
