Journey to the light

day0

The Sun is bright, I feel a little hopeful, in order to keep my self in track, I just avoid technology and other nude things.

Given good life but still searching for real light. I do not feel ashame because I can not fix it and it is a male nature to love females but in the right way, so, I am powerless.

 

Day 1

I am feeling tired because of yesterday's job, wanting to play games, but still, I need to get to 3 days for me to breath out a little easier, Hopefully, time will go pass by faster and I will get to my College classes in this summer, it is going to be awesome, because college will give more opportunities to express my self, than setting in home. Today I have my computer class and some daily challenges such as fasting, solving math problems and others.

So back to the main thesis that I can not fix my addiction, it is noFap and God that is healing me by giving me guidance and love,
Therefore I will not let my anger and emotions distract me from what I need to go for every day to have the beauty of life and satisfaction.

 

DAY 2
I feel ashamed because I masturbated last night unconsciously but still I am going just for avoiding porn so, I will not change my day counter and still, I will continue to get rid of main disease porn and orgasm, but masturbation will be fixed by doing some weight workout, still, I can not fix my disease it is Nofap and God that is doing it for me.

 

DAY3

I want to edge but in reality, I am not doing anything just destroying my own reproductive organs on somewhat nothing or on a nude STDs or HIV carrier who does not have anything just destroying other people's lives because their reproductive systems are destroyed and they are just hopeless and helpless, so, misleading others to the wrong path is the only way they have to show others their own feelings. I do not want to be that stupid to destroy my healthy organ by watching her or his dirt nude actions.

I am a good boy

 

• Day 5
• 
  
• You want relief from sexual frustration - so you use porn to scratch the itch.
• You want connection - so you use porn to distract.
• You want a relationship - so you use porn to forget.
• Your current relationship has issues - so you use porn to avoid them.
• You have uncomfortable thoughts or feelings - so you use porn to numb them.
• You want stress relief - so you use porn to feel calm for a few minutes.
• You want to feel healthy and in shape - so you use porn to forget.
• You’re exhausted and are having trouble sleeping - so you use porn to relax.

The porn cycle is viewing porn to feel better, acting out, keeping it secret and feeling shame then back to viewing porn to feel better and other steps.

life is just as it is, I do not want to be in the same cycle so I did some other things to keep myself busy and out of it. although yesterday I wanted to watch sexy girls, I stopped and call it a day. At night sleeping was hard, I masturbated unconsciously and I will not count it as a relapse because I did not do it on purpose of pleasure.

 

I relapsed today and I feel like shit, it is all because I need to change all of my sins into anger and use that anger in order to achieve my goals and be in discipline.

 

Day0

I do not have any schedule, I will make one today in order to keep my self-busy and away from harming myself, with the addition of fasting I will go to the gym to get my body some endorphins. The day is bright and beautiful but the sins make me dark in my heart, in addition, these sins go to anger and I will use these anger to be productive and do my things such as workout, homework and others. The 3-day challenge to get out of the dirt and breath a little bit.

 

Day1

I already have my goal and I am trying to get the start of my day with some love toward my creator, I let my lord's will to change me and give me healing, and I do not want to displease him. I feel sorry for what I did the day before yesterday, and I do not want to repeat it again because it is not beneficial.

 

Day1
I relapsed again and again and again and again,.............................................. I am done brother, I am done, I can not take it anymore, once it is boiled the water will overflow and the same my patience is also overflowing, I cannot take it anymore.

I want to go 10, 20, 30, 40, 50,60,100,200 and more days please my lord open mercy on me, please.

 

Day2

I am going to college doing my homework and assignments done and I will continue keeping myself busy
for getting my self out of the second day, then I will be with people so I am not sneaking if I am in a situation that is really easy to watch porn I will try to go out of that place by 20 to 40 meters.

 

wow I relapsed againslakfdmasdlkfmasdfmalksdfmnasdlkfmv.huhh whywhy again.