I’ve decided to make myself a journal because I’m really having a hard time, and there’s no support group for “friend of porn addict,” so I hope this is okay. After opening up to me about his porn addiction, my friend has now clammed up. Barely talks to me. We are on opposite coasts, and we used to text pretty much all day every day. Now, next to nothing. It’s not a romantic relationship — never has been, never will be — so I don’t have any of the betrayal feelings common to girlfriends and spouses. It just feels like I’ve lost one of my best friends. Even if it’s not forever, it sucks. I’ve been educating myself on withdrawal, so in addition to what he told me, I have some idea of what he’s going through, like brain fog, mood swings, loss of appetite, intense dreams, fighting cravings, managing triggers, maybe flatlining at this point, fatigue, lack of motivation. I keep telling myself to just give him time and space. He knows I’m here, knows he has my full support, no judgment. He doesn’t want me to act like his mother, doesn’t want to check in, doesn’t want to talk about it because then he’ll be thinking about it, which is the hardest part he says. I tell myself, yeah as much as you miss him, and maybe even the dopamine of constant texts, imagine how much he misses porn. So I gather it’s best for me to adapt my life/routine without him while he attempts to do the same without porn. Intellectually, I get all of this. IT JUST SUCKS.