Just A thought

[FaithWithGod]

So before I post this question/thought, I just want to say that the thought I am about to share does not resemble me in any shape or form, but I am just rather interested in the answers as it might help me keep my emotions & other insecurities in check.

So imagine you're a guy like Chris Hemsworth with all the looks & physique & yet you have never been on a date with a girl or girls have never even hit on you. In addition to this, lets say you have a friend (just imagine someone less attractive than Chris), being on dates after dates.
So I basically want your thoughts on how to control your insecurities & avoid depression if such a period occurs because unless you are not human, you're gonna definitely starting doubting & questioning yourself. (NO TIPS ON HOW TO IMPROVE TO GET GIRLS!)

 

[Xue Hua Piao]

Stop seeing it from your own perspective. Imagine someone else had all these terrible thoughts and unreasonable low self esteem and you’ll probably feel bad and try and give them a fair, more objective and reasonable outlook. Aside from that, if insecurities and self esteem stop you from doing things then just try and do them anyway and you’ll have the gratification of knowing that you didn’t stop for fear of losing. I get put off from loads of things due to poor social skills and self esteem issues but the more I resolve to making an effort to do the things I’m afraid of, the better it becomes

 

[FormerLeatherneck]

The way I see it as there are actually guys out there with Chad looks but a weak and timid personality and it doesn’t help them. So the more outgoing but lesser attractive guy will do better with women because he’s not a Sperg like the timid guy with Chad looks.

 

[FaithWithGod]

Stop seeing it from your own perspective. Imagine someone else had all these terrible thoughts and unreasonable low self esteem and you’ll probably feel bad and try and give them a fair, more objective and reasonable outlook. Aside from that, if insecurities and self esteem stop you from doing things then just try and do them anyway and you’ll have the gratification of knowing that you didn’t stop for fear of losing. I get put off from loads of things due to poor social skills and self esteem issues but the more I resolve to making an effort to do the things I’m afraid of, the better it becomes

Yea I get that a lot. But say you have no problem talking to women casually, but still get no dates. Then would you not worry? That's what's kinda bothering me. I can talk to women and make them feel comfortable as well but like that's it.

 

[FaithWithGod]

The way I see it as there are actually guys out there with Chad looks but a weak and timid personality and it doesn’t help them. So the more outgoing but lesser attractive guy will do better with women because he’s not a Sperg like the timid guy with Chad looks.

I mean I kinda get your point.
But if the reason for going out is solely to get a girl, wouldn't you say that it is too much trouble & kind of needy?

 

[FormerLeatherneck]

I mean I kinda get your point.
But if the reason for going out is solely to get a girl, wouldn't you say that it is too much trouble & kind of needy?

I would say it’s needy if you’re fixated on getting positive results. It’s important to be outcome independent. If you catch something, great, and if not, it’s not the end of the world. The difference is that if you stay home and just stare at your walls, nothing is guaranteed to happen.

 

[Xue Hua Piao]

Yea I get that a lot. But say you have no problem talking to women casually, but still get no dates. Then would you not worry? That's what's kinda bothering me. I can talk to women and make them feel comfortable as well but like that's it.

Tbh A LOT of guys are in that situation. I’ve literally never been on a date before. I really wouldn’t use it as a source of self gratification. Obviously I don’t know things situationally but if I wouldn’t get pressed over it if I were you. Ppl also have ridiculous standards a lot of the time and you might be better off trying with others. I mean go on tinder lol and regardless of how good looking you are the NPC women on there are guaranteed to say no 99.999% of the time.

 

[Xue Hua Piao]

Yea I get that a lot. But say you have no problem talking to women casually, but still get no dates. Then would you not worry? That's what's kinda bothering me. I can talk to women and make them feel comfortable as well but like that's it.

Tbh for me i would personally blame it on my lack of approachability. I’m also fairly reserved about a lot of things so my good qualities don’t get shown very quickly unlike some people who easily broadcast them. This means that I don’t stand out much.

I’ve got no idea how much you interact with women or anything. There are so many factors at play.

I also wouldn’t really worry about it unless you’re majorly discontent with yourself about other things. How many girls you can get literally means nothing. It’s the shittiest form of self validation known to man.