just about to start!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by callel, May 17, 2019.

  1. callel

    callel Fapstronaut

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    hi, I'm 21, nonbinary (he/they), I'm currently a student and I've decided that I need to really re-evaluate porn/porn-adjacent use in my life. I basically started watching porn when I was around 9/10 and trying to imitate a lot of the things I saw, even though I was too young to actually get off (fucked up! I know) & I was lucky that nothing ever happened to me, but I was desperate for attention and up to when I was like 13 I was pretending to be older to get attention from older men ://

    my porn use is actually so much better than it used to be. Up until a couple of years ago it was destroying my relationship with my body and my sexuality, distorting the view of intimacy I wanted but couldn't have with other people & really affecting me morally and psychologically (I hate the porn industry & think it's evil but also I couldn't stop watching it). this cycle continued for a long time, I was constantly telling myself that I should stop, it made me feel so ashamed and disgusting but I would always eventually justify it somehow and end up giving in.

    I now haven't watched porn in about a year and a half (!) & while I still see sexualised images of people all over the internet, I don't click links and I don't actively look for them. my current worry, however, is that I've substituted porn for other types of stimulation, like reading erotica or listening to erotic audios. I don't think that i feel the same compulsion to use them/repeat the PMO cycle, but since I've convinced myself it's "healthy" I just want to know that I can stop if I want to and that it really is different. I'm especially concerned because I whenever I've tried I haven't been able to orgasm without some sort of stimulation of that kind.

    I have exams over the next couple of months, so my challenge for myself is 90 days (a bit ambitious, I know, lol) without any kind of erotic material, without any kind of masturbation or orgasm. I'm not sexually active (messed up relationship with my body & sexuality) but if I somehow meet someone and feel comfortable enough to have sex with them within 90 days, that would be allowed.

    I plan to start today (Sat 18th May) & would massively appreciate any support and/or advice
     
    Out of the mess likes this.
  2. Xen

    Xen Fapstronaut

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    Hi, callel

    My goal (90 days starting today) is pretty much the same.

    All the best!
     
    callel likes this.
  3. Out of the mess

    Out of the mess Fapstronaut

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    Hello! Welcome to the squad. You're in good company here, all us just wanting better for ourselves. We got this
     
    callel likes this.
  4. callel

    callel Fapstronaut

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    Good luck to you as well!
     
  5. callel

    callel Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouragement!
     

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