Just ended my longest streak, couldn't feel worse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by lastime, Jul 10, 2018.

  1. lastime

    lastime Fapstronaut

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    Title says it all, I dont know what to think anymore.
    This year has been a great progress since I have improved a lot containing myself. However, just after I finally succeded not fapping for more than 100 days, it got very complicated. My mind was focused on sex every night and every morning making it very hard to resist PMO. So I started M'ing few days ago at night and then finally PMO'ed today.
    I really thought I wouldn't have PMO problems anymore after my 90 days streak but I was so so wrong. The fact that I just started my vacations thus being a lot less busy was definitely decisive. Plus being a Christian, I feel like I've greatly dissapointed God, I asked for forgiveness from the bottom of my heart and even though I know he has forgiven me, I still feel bad because He made some wonderful changes in my life this year and our relationship kept growing through the ups and downs of my life. Prayers would really be appreciated.

    Be careful guys and girls, whatever you believe in, keep fighting and break free from these chains that have fettered you for too long.

    Bless you and have a beautiful day
     
  2. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

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    what's the deal if you make your entire life depend on freaking NoFap?
    You wanna have some backup strats that unleash your inner beast even if you relapse.

    Just get back on track the next day and your good to go
     
  3. Player 1

    Player 1 Fapstronaut

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    The less you PMO over time, the better.
    100 days is an insanely high streak you should be proud, now try to preserve your energy the best you can and may God help you not failing again.

    You did it once, you can do it again. :)
     
    Fallensoldier1 and lastime like this.
  4. astronaut prime

    astronaut prime Fapstronaut

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    hey man,

    congrats on your 100 day streak! i don't think you need to be so harsh on yourself. just like the grace god gives you, be gracious and kind to yourself too. if you had a son and he messed up, i don't think you'd be so disappointed or harsh with him. you'd probably be proud. and that's how god sees you too.

    i spend a lot of time journaling/writing to really challenge my thoughts. i think spending that hour everyday being mindful, understanding the pain women go through (objectification, assault, rape), and pursuing to be the kind of man i want to be, puts a different perspective of how i see sex/women. maybe it might help you too.

    growth often isn't linear. it's cyclic. we go in circles, relapse and struggle with the same things over and over again. but growth is also spiraling up. it's going in circles, but spiraling up like a cylinder/slinky. you are making progress and getting better, even with mistakes.

    from your post, i hope you're not feeling shameful as a person.
    just because you made an undesirable action, it doesn't mean you're a bad person.
    the action was poor, but it doesn't necessarily reflect who you actually are.
    it's okay to make mistakes. it just means we're human.
    and it's great that you're trying again. that speaks much more volume than you making a mistake.

    good job man! and keep up the great work!
     
    lastime likes this.
  5. lastime

    lastime Fapstronaut

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    Thank you bros, I really appreciate your kind words
     
  6. lastime

    lastime Fapstronaut

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    Astronaut prime, thanks dude you're right. The thing is that I feel like I keep making the same mistakes knowingly and even though I'm improving, I get angry against myself for getting back on this cycle.

    Wow this is an excellent idea man, I've never thought of it. I'll try starting this, I believe that this kind of habit can really change our way of thinking and seeing women or other people in general.

    I see your point and I definitely agree. I don't think I can abruptly stop a bad habit such as PMO, but it surely is frustrating to not see the light at the end of the tunnel and right now I feel like I'm compressing my slinky.

    You're 100% right, I honestly don't think I'm a bad person in spite of these mistakes. I love life, I love people and I believe that we can all do better to improve ourselves as mature, self-controlled and respectful humans.

    Thanks a million for taking time to help me bro, I really appreciate it and I love all of you guys for your support.
    Bless you and keep fighting !
     

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