Just got back from first date

You've invested years of emotional and mental energy into her. So now you feel like it needs to happen. That you can't walk away from this. So every time something bad happens with her, you're going to double down on your investment towards her in order to chase your losses. In order to regain that control of making that specific outcome happen. To control and own her. You will double down via compensating, compromising, convincing, and performing to win her approval back. This is the foundation you're building with her. She's being taught that she gets rewarded every time she withholds affection and validation from you. All the rewards with minor commitment and effort on her part.

Playing games with her won't end. You'll also feel like you have to win over her friends and family. Things will go wrong and you'll double down on investment some more. Can't lose that approval right? You'll always be afraid of losing her. 10 years down the line you'll still be trying to decode her signals, replaying mistakes in your head, and wondering what the right time is to text her.

The only thing you'll win from this game is being liked for someone that you aren't.

Looks like you'll have to learn the long and hard way though.

 

Speaking from experience? Sharing your story might help.

 

Not at all. What I mean is simply get on with your life while you are waiting for another opportunity because while your hanging on to your phone for dear life waiting for that next text, you could be improving yourself in a way that allows you alot more options then the ones you currently have. She could be the one for you. She also could not. I thought I Couldnt live without my first (official) ex. Now i have trouble actually remembering her name.

 

The thing is how can one care and not care. If I said I'm looking and not looking at porn I expect you'd be puzzled. No one here says there doing and not doing nofap. Surely you're in or out... Surely you care or don't. With my ex I either cared for her or didn't. I was talking to my cousin about this and he said there's middle ground but I just don't see it.

 

I noticed u asked if you should follow her on social media. HELL NO! Or you want to be friends with her? Or you want to stalk her from a distance, observing her life? I hope not. And my advice is to get all the asocial media out of your life while you still can. Good luck!