Just got brushed off and relapsed

"Depression" is a clinical diagnosis. What you experienced was a normal emotional reaction. You are used to numb your emotions by drugging your mind through PMO, that's why your emotions triggered you in that case. When I rebooted, I made the experience it' not only emotions that I experience as negative which lead me to PMO, but intense positive ones as well. It's really curious. You need to learn to be patient and watch your mind like a neutral observer, this will bring many benefits to you.

Anyway, it's good that you had a first achievement right after joining this site. You are only just starting. Don't give up. Just go on, even if you keep relapsing. Try to change your lifestlye for the better in other areas of life as well. If you go on and on you will be tired of relapsing at some point, and you will make progress on the quantity of your PMO habit as well!

 

Great reply @Headspace. The good news Daniel is that you're already making the connection between you're disappointment about being brushed off, and your desire to escape it via M. Some people struggle for awhile before being able to make an observation like that, so consider yourself slightly ahead of schedule, even though you had a setback. And know you know you can get through a night without M, so try pushing it a little farther. Best of luck!

 

Congratz on taking that first step man, thats huge. I get that you relapsed couse of being sad, i used to do that. But the truth is that shit happens, and you gotta learn to deal with it and keep on going. A girl i was dating told me she didnt want to keep dating recently, and sure it made me sad af, and not so long ago i wouldve reacted like u did. But i didnt, i resistes the temptation, went out jogging, studied and played the guitar and went out with friends. When you fall down a hole, you have to climb the fuck out of there, not digg even deeper. We are what we do with what we have. Now get up, and keep fighting couse life waits for nobody i promise you ll feel amazing, even if you are sad. Best of luck

 

I totally understand where you're coming from. I've learned over a fairly long period of time that people generally suck. I've come to the realization that my happiness should not be dependent on someone else liking me. I know what I have to offer as a person (so do those select few who have bothered to engage me), and if many people don't want to take a short amount of time to get to know the real me then they're really not worthy to be my friends. It took me a while to realize this, but it's brought a measure of peace to my troubled mind.
Think it over.

 

Headspace was completely right when he said that depression and deep sadness are not one in the same. Never forget that.

I have suffered from clinical depression, it's more like a deep, dark hole of nothing than sadness. It's a numbness to anything. When you're depressed, you wish you could feel sad, or feel something because you know that you did feel something once. More often than not, it's hard to find a reason to get out of bed... or to shower. Or to eat. Or to post on a forum. Or do anything.

People using the word depression in place of sadness is kind of like using the abbreviation OCD for when they are in a perfectionist mindset. The difference is: one person can escape from whatever it is they are feeling and one cannot. You can be sad for a day and get over it the next day or within a week or something. Depression lasts for months, years.

Please, learn the difference. Be thankful that you are not depressed and that you feel something. Sadness is actually quite beautiful if you let it be.

I can relate to what you are feeling. It's disheartening to have a connection dissipate. It's the nature of all relationships. They are transient and they die, just like we do. It's something that we all must come to terms with in life. If you don't, the dissapointment will be a very heavy burden to carry.

Welcome to nofap. Hang on for the ride of your life.

 

There are different forms of depression which are, indeed, depression.

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

From the above link:
Signs and Symptoms
If you have been experiencing some of the following signs and symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks, you may be suffering from depression:

• Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood

So sadness can be part and parcel of clinical depression. Believe me, I know. I've suffered from it on and off for decades.