Just had to come somewhere to vent

You must truly despise P and the after feeling in order to succeed to greater and greater streaks.

I ask you this. When you relapse, do you assume you are not capable?
Or do you immediately get ready to fight again?

This is the biggest thing to control. Positivity and negativity.

If you can create the foundations of the fighting spirit after a relapse and forget the negativity you will go further with every retry.

It's mind over matter...you must believe in yourself and why you are doing it (most important).
And never forget why you want to quit. When you forget, you open vulnerability.

 

I feel you dude.

I've been trying to do this for what must be about 10 years now - typing that out makes me realize how pathetic that is, but shit, at least I've been trying. What I've discovered after all this time but especially more recently is that avoiding porn and fapping makes any anxiety I have really in strength - make no mistake, it's very much there, but it's not nearly as much of a presence as it is when I spend each day in that fapping cycle. I couldn't believe it at first, but the evidence is staring me in the face. I feel better. I don't know why, but I do. I guess maybe watching porn triggers something deep in my subconscious that keeps me in this funk, this chaotic place.

If you feel that getting spiritual about it would help, go for it - that being said, don't doubt for a second that you have the potential to get through this entirely on your own if. Like I said, I have been trying to quit for ten years and yesterday I blew a 5 day lead - I've gotten to 110 days before, earlier on when I started, but that amount of time is a blip compared to the days flushed down the drain with me and a porn site.

Don't worry about time. If you're working against this thing that's consuming your life, you're doing something. Feel free to message me whenevs.

 

Just ended a 40-day streak. And while I binged it was only a half day relapse which is a big improvement for me. Started with watching porn/porn sub then woke up in the middle of the nite and fapped. Watching porn/porn subs made me feel awful made it hard to sleep, and then wanking made me feel even worse. Shocking that I haven't stopped this habit. It's like every once in awhile I get this urge to punch myself in the nuts and somehow my brain convinces me that I want to punch myself in the nuts and that it will feel good. Right after doing it it's pretty clear to me that it won't feel good and that it will hurt, but after awhile my brain starts convincing me otherwise.

I can trace the relapse back to not controlling my thoughts and letting lustful thoughts take root. I would think about the things to convince myself I had no interest [ and likely on some level was checking if I was into it], but it still allowed it to take root when what I should have done is ignored the thoughts thus putting them out of my head.