Just lost my virginity at 22

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by sven_from_russia, Mar 29, 2017.

  1. sven_from_russia

    sven_from_russia Fapstronaut

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    Obviously this contains explicit details, I'm not sure if that is appropriate here but just issuing a fair warning.

    I honestly thought it would never happen, it was kind of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. I had gone almost 23 years (turning 23 in May) without so much as kissing a girl. But a few days ago I put up a post on Whisper app about being a nearly 23 year old virgin, and after awhile a girl responded. We messaged for a few days and shot some pics back and forth, and she ended up coming to my house yesterday afternoon.

    She's 24 and in an open relationship, apparently has been with 11 guys. Suffers from major depression and said she uses sex as a means of self medication. Very friendly and kind, a lot nicer than a girl I ended up with for my first time could have been.

    After taking a shower, cleaning my apartment a bit, and lighting some incense in the bedroom, she came over, I took her to my bedroom, I took off my clothes and we started making out. The first thing that was apparent to me is how much more intimate real sex is as opposed to PMO, there is a lot more touch involved and I am told women respond a lot more to touch than men and it was interesting to hear and see how she responded. She liked being bitten lightly, she told me, and quickly I picked up on how she enjoyed being bitten, kissed and licked on her neck. I removed her bra and started sucking gently on her tits, seeing them get hard was an indication to me that I was doing something right.

    Eventually I moved my hand down her panties and started fingering her before sliding off her pants completely. She gradually became very wet and she invited me to try to eat her out. Apparently I am really good at it lol and she said I was a natural, far from her worst time. She had to move my hand a couple times to show me what to do but on the whole I figured it out pretty quick.

    The only issue was my cock. I'm not sure whether it was just nerves or leftover PMO damage, but even with blowjobs and handjobs, I failed to get hard enough cum and even really to stay inside of her hard. It had been 7 days only since I last jerked off and also busted a nut, honestly I was surprised I didn't blow right away. I didn't mind because I was just enjoying it all so much, and she didn't mind either and was polite about it, but it was something in the back of my mind that I need to work on and want to fix. She felt a little bad that I made her come 5 times in 4 hours and I didn't get anything.

    As someone who was raised a Catholic and told to wait until marriage I was initially conflicted about this, however, both abstinence and the desire to lose my virginity were becoming near madness in my mind and I decided I wanted to just make a decision. We plan to get together at least once more, I want to gain experience with a couple girls maybe a handful of times and then have a better idea of sex after healing completely from PMO and go on to be in a relationship.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
  2. NightReaper775

    NightReaper775 Fapstronaut

    Man you have too much triggers in there. Try to cover them up using spoilers, many will not get past them.
     
  3. Rigel7

    Rigel7 Fapstronaut

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    I am all for sharing but I have to agree. You didn't have to share explicitly what you did with this lady.
     
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  4. NF SINCE BIRTH

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

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    I am happy for you. I lost my virginity last year, two days before my birthday. It was not nearly as good an experience as you had.

    I understand your need to share and I can handle reading a few triggers at this point, but the other guys are right. You should use some spoilers just to be on the safe side. Thanks for the warning though.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  5. BrianRogersStJohn

    BrianRogersStJohn Fapstronaut

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    I am very happy for you and only wish that I could summon the courage to try real sex again. It's been decades .. all because of chronic fapping and porn. The result is some scared of real sex... scared of failure. So please .. keep up the good work and you'll be having fulfilling contact a lot more. Thanks for sharing.
     
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  6. That's quite inspiring actually. Want to know something weird? When I lost virginity a couple months ago, which litterally feels like a freakin year, I felt on top of the world. However, the same old negative feelings and emotions came back, quite weird, but I'm glad I finally got it out of the way.

    I thought that losing my virginity would eliminate, or at least lessen, my negative, self-limiting thoughts, but boy oh boy couldn't I have been more wrong. I'm just telling you this so you know what might be up ahead during your nofap journey. It's definitely tought sometimes man. Anyways, congragulations to you, glad to hear it went very well.
     
  7. sven_from_russia

    sven_from_russia Fapstronaut

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    You're right, it changes almost nothing, apart from having experience and then knowing what else you would want in a relationship. There's a certain void that is present there if it's just a FWB or whatever instead of a girl you love and that's what I'd want to fix when I fall in love. Quitting PMO forever is still a good step in that direction because it's far different than sex.

    I haven't regretted it a lot, only a little bit, but you have to realize that's just another attachment and you have to let it all go.

    Sorry for the triggers. The whole damn thing is a spoiler now lol
     
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  8. JWwantsalife

    JWwantsalife Fapstronaut

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    damn that part on the girl being with 11 guys is quite scary bro, hope you condom up.
    Just a word of caution.

    Also, being a Christian I'm actually also not so supportive of the sex after marriage thing. I feel that I should at least be able to do it once before I meet my wife. I mean the idea of losing your virginity to only your wife is good, but sort of not realistic like come on, when will you meet your wife?
     
    sven_from_russia likes this.
  9. sven_from_russia

    sven_from_russia Fapstronaut

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    It's a nice idea but kind of unrealistic yes. I had had these idealistic dreams about the same thing of losing it to my wife, but here's a couple things : you don't want to be in a relationship for sex, and you also don't want to enter such a commitment without an idea of your sexual compatibility. I think more realistic is have a few hookups or whatever to get an idea of what you are doing so you can please a future partner, stay on your PMO grind, then meet a girl you love and having sex with her when the time is right. And despite the Christian stigma, I do not believe that makes you a bad person. What does is intent to harm others. I'm a Buddhist, not a Christian; they're more progressive on sexuality than many other religions.

    Why do you think hardcore Christian couples marry at like 20? It's so they can have sex without the stigma attached. That is far too young IMO and if that is such a part of the reason you might as well have a few times of casual sex if it means a more genuine relationship later.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
  10. sven_from_russia

    sven_from_russia Fapstronaut

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    On the bright side, even in my week of abstinence from jerking off and having sex instead, I've noticed morning wood comes back. I think it has to do with the fact that fapping and especially to porn is highly unnatural and screws up your sex drive and libido. The ED risk ain't worth it folks
     

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