Just random thoughts about the nature of addiction and how to handle it

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Foxhole, Jan 28, 2019.

  1. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    I had this conversation with fellow fapstronaut last week and i think that it might be helpful for others, so i just repost it here:

    Me:
    I was thinking about the addiction this morning. I woke up late and i felf like a failure, you know, and of course urges was stronger than usual.

    And even if you know what you should do, you have some brain fog and fapping is the easiest, the most available option and it is so tempting it really f***in hard to resist.
    But its not like you need IT. There never was a need for porn or masturbation. No. The problem is a general lack of sense or happiness. And there is nothing more senseless and pointless than molesting yourself to some garbage fictional imaginery.
    So yeah, it is addictive, but not because its something worth to us, but because it kills all happiness and sense we have.

    But what to do with it? It's easy to fight it when you're happy and productive. You can set up a routine to follow and avoid every harmful thought. But sooner or later you'll fail following your routine, you fuck up in work or school and you're there. Anxious and hopeless and fapping is just a fingertip away, so comforting and tempting.

    So what to do in moments like this? Well first of all you need a power to say stop. Loud and bold STOP. You have to force yourself to think clearly at least for a while. Don't fall into trap of softcore or p-subs. It doesnt help to relieve, never. It only make it worse. It make you crave even more. Its a trap. You have to move yourself in totally different direction. Realise that you dont really want porn - that you just miss something - sense, happiness. That you feel miserably just because you are miserable not because you need to fap.

    And then you can do something about it. Do something that makes you happy. Something useful, if you have power to do that, or at least something comforting but not porn-related. Have a cup of coffee or tea, listen to music, read a book, eat a snack. Go to the mall and buy something for dinner...

    The fellow dude:
    As you told one needs a sense of happiness. The problem is generally we tend to think happiness when someone gives you, that is you seek validation and when you feel like crap and no one is there to validate you. That's when one falls into the cycle again

    Me:
    Yeah, you're right. I guess its the time we live in which learns us to take and consume more than give.

    But the real sense is what we do, not what we get from it. We need some kind of approval that shows us that we do something that matters. But today we are appreciated for nothing - for sharing stupid status on facebook or loading a pornsite.
    And it really fucked up our perception of sense and meaningfullness.

    The fellow dude:
    Yeah you are right. We have to re-orient our sense of fulfilment and happiness
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2019
    Maninsearchofasoul likes this.
  2. Retentionman

    Retentionman Fapstronaut

  3. That is the way my friend
     
    Foxhole likes this.

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