Just started NoFap and dating

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by koning, Jul 13, 2018.

  1. koning

    koning Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    Just recently I discovered that I have PIED. I discovered it because I started dating.
    I'm going out with this girl for more then two weeks now, and there have been two moments in which we touched each other and where an erection really should appear, but nothing happens.

    I've had this problem for a while, but all the times I was intimate with a girl, I was drunk. So I thought: It must be the alcohol.

    Since I'm dating this girl, I think it's maybe PIED. I've watched a lot of porn in the past years, and I can remember much harder erections in the far past. The erections I get due watching porn are also not that hard.

    Since I'm new here, I can use some advice.

    My first question has to do with the girl. She knows I've ED-problems, but this good looking girl is extremely horny. She is touching me all the time and wants me badly to touch her. How to handle this girl during reboot?

    Current streak: 1 week off.
     
  2. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Hey there,

    welcome to the site! Glad you made it here.
    I thought the same, the first time I experienced it.
    Hm... how come she knows about your problems? Have you talked about it? Does she know about NoFap or your reboot? If you feel you can't handle it, may be set up boundaries for a while? She should be understanding, or is this not the case? On the other hand, if you hold yourself back just because you got performance anxiety, it might be good to try around a little.
    That's a good start! Keep going.
     
  3. koning

    koning Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the quick respond.

    Yes I did and she was understandable.

    Well it's oke with me, but i'm not sure how it affects the rebooting process.

    I don't feel any anxiety, no real sense of excitement either. I'm afraid i'll get to much used to her looks and the way she feels during the reboot. But i'm not sure if this will be the case, since I've read many different rebootstories.

    Nochmals danke
     
  4. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    There are different views on that here. Some people say that it's better to go for one or three month hard mode, i.e. without sex, too, while others embrace sexual intercourse as what is normal and natural and will "rewire your brain" so you will enjoy what you are supposed to enjoy again, not that touch of your hand and that pixelated screen in isolation. So this is something you really have to decide for yourself. Listen to your gut feeling, may be also reflect about what you want from that woman.
    By "getting used", do you mean you will lose interest in her, sexually? Otherwise I don't see a problem with getting used to her. It's a good thing, at least if you are looking for a relationship. Regarding the way she appeals to you, well, that won't last forever, anyway, and more importantly, I don't see how that should be connected to your reboot. I'm not sure if I understand you right.
    Gern geschehen! Ich kann leider kein Niederländisch...
     
  5. koning

    koning Fapstronaut

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    Yes getting used to her sexually. Even right now I don't feel much excitement touching her, although boring would be a overstatement. She is really hot, therefore I got worried and started the reboot. Meaning; if this girl won't excite me, no girl will.

    So should I take it slow, maybe, and wait for my libido get's a bit recovered to a more normal state? What do you think?

    Zwei bier bestellen auf Niederländisch würde aber noch gehen.
     
  6. sephhh

    sephhh Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, there are two things with this I would suggest.

    One is, you have to get more comfortable with the girl.

    Two is, PIED goes away with time.

    If you don't touch your junk and you only allow yourself to be turned with women. Your body will adjust accordingly. We can talk about all the dynamics of this all day for a long time and honestly it doesn't matter about any of that. It's only a matter of time.
     
    Headspace likes this.
  7. Tokenator27

    Tokenator27 Fapstronaut

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    I have a similar situation as OP. I stopped counting because I dont give a shit about the numbers. Its gonna be day Infiniti for PM for me. Around day 15. The woman I'm seeing wants sex again, understands I'm on hard mode but still wants it. My whole goal is to cure myself of this garbage so that I can live normally again between the sheets. I have one bombshell secret to unload on her (told her ive had sex with 6 women, undisclosed amount of times. In reality its 6 times, with 2 women.) If she doesn't beat me up for trying to initially bullshit her I'm going to try to unleash the beast the next time we want it. Cant hurt to experiment.
     
  8. koning

    koning Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply,

    Well that I've already achieved. Im feeling fine around her. Not nervous at all.
    So you say; just go with this girl and try things out, even if I don't feel any excitement.
     
  9. koning

    koning Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I'm still not sure what is the best way to recover. But yea, right now I'm not able to get any erection. So I even have to wait.
     

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