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Just starting and a way to go (relapsed)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Darksyl, Sep 17, 2014.

  1. Darksyl

    Darksyl Fapstronaut

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    All right guys, I knew it would happen to me anyway.
    So here it is. I actually wanted to try nofap challenge to see if it was true and of course get rid of porn addiction... I found out this site (on reddit to be exact) in June. Then I thought, ok lets give it a try. So my first semi no pmo challenge started at the end of the june and lasted for 60 days. Quite a lot for a first try? But it wasnt hard mode, sometimes I binged so i dont count it much.
    So you ask if it was worth it. Yes it is true that I've really felt more energetic less shy, my optimism went up. I travelled a lot during that time met many people so maybe thats the solution. I have a problem that I pmo because I have nothing else to do. Thats why this year (1st year at UNI starting in october) I will take up a lot of activities that will help me to make use of the time which is as we all know priceless (and we have not much of it).

    Then after relapse i read a bit more about nofap and decided to try to go for 90 days (or maybe more) to experience the feeling of reboot. Well if the reboot goes okay then why not forget about porn forever?
    So after the first amateur 60 day streak i decided to go full hard mode. But it wasnt so easy as i thought.
    So I lasted 6 days. Well the problem was that i was so bored that i thought about pmoing because of lack of anything else to do. I took 2 day break and went on 4 days streak. So in 10 days i pmoed just twice. I used to pmo every other day sometimes every day and actually it was quite an achievment. AS I said i didnt binge, no thinkging about porn i didnt look at it even (during that 60 day i sometimes looked at porn but never ever orgasmed).
    Then another 2 days break and I went for 7 day no pmo streak. I wanted it to last 90 days but I lost control and something told me I couldnt do it...

    And yes thats today, I relapsed. I felt shit just after relapse, but then realised I really improved since June. 21 days and only 4 times pmo. Not bad not bad. Im not going to give up now I know the strategy.
    Ive found out from what others said that the biggest urge to fap is during 7th day (testosterone has highest level). That I experienced too. So now knowing that I will do everything to go thorugh the 2nd week of the challenge.

    90 day without wasting time for porn shit. I know i can do it, I'm not felling bad that i relapsed because I was caught off guard by that testosterone level ( If I knew that it gets better after I would do as much as possilbe to avoid it). Just thought that relapsing after 7 days would be less painful than after 10. But who said im going to relapse after 10?

    Thats it im going for it again. I think that Im able to go past thorugh first 2 weeks. Im stronger than I was before, and even though i relapsed I can look into other people's eyes, which for me as a shy person was a huge problem before.

    Fell free to give me a hints for my first 90 challenge.
    I'm really excited :).
    And to everybody who feel bad about yourself because of relapse. Look at the bright side. When you were addicted you could even fap more than once a day and with this challenge (even if you fail after the 1st day) you still fapped less often. Thats it. Rome wasn't built in a day. I know that I and all of those who try and want to try will succeed sooner or later.

    And what more I like about this challenge that I never sounded so optimistic before.
    This is amazing. :)
     

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