Just turned down sex again

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by The Great Warrior, Aug 12, 2018.

  1. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    i was hard but i had no confidence to go trough with it
    i don't want to fail and be embarrassed

    What can i do ?
     
  2. gamerball77

    gamerball77 Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you have anxiety. The fear of failing puts stress and pressure on you and because of that you fail. Sort of like a self fulfilling prophecy.

    One way I have heard to deal with it is to take up meditation. I think there is even meditations for sexual performance anxiety, might be worth a search on google or youtube.

    I'm thinking of taking it up myself but I am planning on going for walks in the country side or in woods. Spending time around nature on a regular basis. Might even take up sketching while I'm out there just to chill out.
     
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  3. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    i was drunk you would think i should of had all the confidence i needed.
    would zanax work ? should i ask my doctor for some
    what if i imagined and masturbated about if i went trough with it and see how i get on maybe that will boost confidence
    ((maybe i still have pied) thats why i have performance axiety)
     
  4. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Getting drunk ruins my erections(lose feeling) that's why when I'm drunk and banging I stack my booze with Cialus(not ideal, don't do what I do). It's okay to have a couple drinks but don't go full on drunk... Zanax will make things even worse and make you more disoriented. Have a couple drinks if you need to.... but that's it. I'd recommend Cialus before I'd take Zanax.
     
  5. FutureDoctor

    FutureDoctor Fapstronaut

    okay so you should really not try to M to check if it works, it will only bring you to relapse. Same thing for Zanax, for me it is not much different than drugs cause it only brings you artificial comfort. I think that you should try meditation and self-motivation (watch a few motivational speeches online), it will certainly help your performance anxiety.
     
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  6. gamerball77

    gamerball77 Fapstronaut

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    I agree with FutureDoctor. With something like this you should aim to get to the root of the problem. I know I want to deal with this without being dependent on any drug or medication. Meditation and self-motivation should help you get to the point on having full control and I guess it will be more natural............and that in itself should be a major confidence boost knowing you have control over your own body.
     
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  7. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    i know why i never went through with its because i have failed before and have no confidence now
    i'm never gonna have the confidence unless im sure i can preform

    how do i get sure that i can preform if im not allowing myself to try?
     
  8. gamerball77

    gamerball77 Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the same boat as you The Great Warrior, I was with a woman a couple of weeks back and lost what erection I had. I had failed before in the past and because of that I have the fear of failing again (hence the anxiety). That's why I'm doing Nofap along with a number of other things to help. I'm taking up my walking around nature to help chill out, Meditation to find and know myself better (Honestly look it up and see what you think) . I'm also going to join a gym to weight life, which should help boost testosterone levels and get a healthy body. I'm quite optimistic that working on myself this way and enjoying life will work out any anxiety I have and to help me on my Nofap journey.
     
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  9. gamerball77

    gamerball77 Fapstronaut

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    and maybe both of our problems is that we are focusing too much on the problem and making it the center of our thoughts.
     
    guyinsideout likes this.
  10. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    i think if i had gone through with it then i would have had no problems later that night i pmod twice my erections were very hard, even with the girl had erection for like 20+ mins.
     
  11. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    i think i may no longer have pied NoFap really does work but theres always gunna be that fear of failing for failing in the past and the fear of failing because of your fear of failing. unless somehow your sure your not gunna fail or else you just dont care if you fail
     
  12. The Great Warrior

    The Great Warrior Fapstronaut

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    still feeling shitty about this i should be calling her. i haven't done the 90 day challenge i think the highest i got was 30 days no PMO since i started the nofap forum. maybe i do still have PIED how many days to be sure its gone ?
     
  13. I’d say what you need is a good relationship with someone. Tell them your anxiety about it. Ask them to be gentle and patient. Meditation/ contemplation also helps calm you interiorly.
     

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