Just wanna share a story that is one of the reasons why I WILL NEVER PMO again.

First i must say that i hate when i remember this.

So i was already comitted to stop PMO, and was on a 86 days streak at that time, when i was browsing facebook, and then i looked at the people who i had conversations with, and i ran into one friend of mine, who is heavily addicted to PMO, and he is truly a chronic addict, he is 25 (was 24 back then i think), and i wanted to do something to make him stop ruining his life with this, i just wanted to make him stop, and during this time i was a believer in God, and used to read the Bible a lot, and tried to get close to God and do righteous things, instead of sinful, (now i am not so much like this, because i started doubting, but i still read the Bible, and believe in God. I am not a christian in the full sense of the word, i don't go to church and etc.). So this friend of mine, he also was a believer, and he used to share some christian pics on FB, and how Jesus helps people, things of this type, so i decided to talk with him about PMO being against the commandments of God, and being a sin, so we started texting, and then he said something about the PMO, and i said to him, you should stop doing this, this is a violation of the commandments of God, you want God to help you, but you continue doing these things, you must try to stop this, you are sinning everyday. And then he said something funny, i won't say it, i laughed,i was like alright, man, you decide, and left him. I was already confident in myself, since i had a streak of 86 days, and i had few other big streaks behind me. And then somehow the urges started hitting me, i fell asleep very horny, and in the morning, i was just like fiending for some trigger, and there were triggers, and i ended up relapsing, and relapsed, and i knew very well what i was doing, but i wanted to do it anyway, although i knew what's coming afterwards. So then, after the relapse, my thoughts hit me straight, it was like this: YOU HYPOCRITICAL IDIOT, YOU SCUM, YOU TOLD HIM TO STOP PMO, BECAUSE YOU FELT THAT YOU HAD IT OVERCOME, AND HE WAS STUCK IN IT, AND THE VERY NEXT DAY YOU DID THE SAME THING THAT HE DOES, AND THE SAME THING YOU WERE TELLING HIM TO STOP DOING !!! YOU ARE SO VILE, PITIFUL AND MISERABLE !!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, NOW HE WILL THINK OF YOU THAT YOU DON'T DO IT, BUT YOU ACTUALLY DID IT THE DAY AFTER YOU TOLD HIM !!! HYPOCRITE AND FOOL !! And then i hated myself for what i did, and started repenting, although i could not reverse anything... I should have watched my steps better ... I still could choose not to do it, but i failed not only myself, but i failed God too. And i knew that in the Bible there are special curses and woes for the hypocrites, and i knew that it pertains to me, because i am one of them.
So from then on, i decided, THIS WILL BE THE VERY END OF PMO FOR ME, IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE FOR ME TO CONTINUE TO INDULGE IN THIS VICE, NO RELAPSE FROM NOW ON WHATSOEVER. And from then on, i am very careful about what i talk to people if there is any conversation about PMO, i even fear to say that i don't do it, because if i say it, the next day it might strike me all of a sudden... But in my mind, i have promised and vowed to never do it again, as far and as long as i have the power of choice and decision.. So the moral of the story: Watch your own self, and try to improve yourself, before you criticize the faults of the other people around you, because they might be your faults too. ;D

 

Yes, i underestimated it the last time, but i can't agree that relapses just happen, they happen only if we allow it. So i slipped and allowed it to happen, but now i will be careful all the time not to allow a failure again. Anyway, it was a long time ago, but i needed to share this story.

Yeah, thank you for the support, i forgot to say that this story didnt take place soon, it was long time ago (almost 8 months), i keep fighting and will not surrender, and haven't done it since then. I want to help my friend, but i am not very sure that this site will have any impact on him, or that it will change anything in him, he just loves doing it and doesn't seem to want to stop. I feel bad for him, but in the end, it's about decisions ...

 

well, i have completed the 90 days before, and i have even managed to make it to 4 months and few days, but ended up relapsing, then i didn't even know about nofap, i just struggled to make it on my own. ;D Now i am almost on 8 months...

 

YES! EXACTLY ! ;D Thanks for the reply, sometimes you have to be rude with your brain ...

 

Thanks. This reply is useful to me.