Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Castielle, Feb 12, 2020 at 6:14 PM.

  1. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Forgive me if my details are off on this. I only just heard about this today, but it's a pretty crazy story.

    Long story short, Johnny Depp was accused of domestic violence against his (now ex) wife Amber Heard. Turns out, she's the abusive one. He supposedly lost his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in the newest Pirates movie because of these false accusations, and is now suing Amber for defamation.

    This is long, but honestly an incredibly eye-opening audio recording of one if their arguments. (Don't ask me why they record their arguments... I have no idea. But apparently Amber submitted this so evidence against him, which is rather hilarious, because it only serves to prove that she is the abuser.)

    There are so many classic signs of domestic violence and emotional abuse in this recording. To name a few:

    - Gaslighting

    - The ever-so-classic "yes, I hit you, but it's your fault, because you make me mad and I just can't control myself"

    - Putting all the blame of her bad actions onto him

    - Demeaning and mocking him for reaching out for help, like he is a coward for wanting the abuse to stop (I think this is a tactic more common among female perpetrators. They attack the man's masculinity and make him feel like he's not a man anymore if he can't handle being abused by a woman, or wants the abuse to stop. Which is pretty rich, considering the reason he reaches out for help is so the situation will be mediated calmly, instead of ending with him finally snapping and knocking her the eff out. His reaching out for help, or walking away, is not because he's too weak to fight back. It's because he's a good man who doesn't want to fight back, and he's taking necessary steps to make sure that doesn't happen.)

    - Constantly twisting the conversation back to what he's done, and never accepting her own blame

    - BS apologies such as "I can't defend my actions on that day, BUT, I also can't fully blame myself, because YOU provoked me."

    It's actually a fascinating clip to listen to in its entirety. And honestly, despite how insane she is and how much I think he is completely justified in leaving her, it's actually kind of awesome to see them come to a somewhat fruitful conclusion in the end. And the reason is because of his humility throughout the whole thing. He really handles this entire argument like a champ, and I think everyone could learn a lot from how Johnny handled this.

    Even when your spouse is being ridiuclous, if you remain calm and humble, you will come out not only as the bigger person, but you will also likely be able to resolve the situation.

    I actually learned a lot from listening to this, and I want to apply some of this to my own marriage. There were some small aspects of Amber's responses that I, unfortunately, could see myself in, and I definitely don't want that. I think Johnny set an awesome example of being a good spouse in this, and I think everyone can learn something. Or if you're not married, at the very least, it's an interesting psychological roller coaster to listen to.

    Anyway, I hope the guy gets justice. After listening to this, he seems like a class act to me.

    Last edited: Feb 12, 2020 at 6:19 PM
  2. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Sorry for typos. My phone likes to autocorrect words that are already words, into other words, because it thinks it's smarter than me.
  3. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    One last thing: it really kills me how she's so upset about him walking away all the time, when he is literally doing that FOR HER.

    She can't see it, because she clearly doesn't understand how crazy she's being. But he's walking away because if he doesn't, he might hurt her. And when she is physically hitting him, it would actually be completely justified by the law for him to defend himself. Instead, he chooses to protect her by removing himself from the situation.

    She acts like he's being selfish, but it couldn't be further from the truth.
  4. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

    I didn't listen to the whole audio, but I just listened to enough to know you are really right. She's driving herself mad trying to get him to behave toward filling her insecurities. At first I thought he might be trying not to lift a finger toward helping, which might be part of the problem, but pretty quickly it's evident he's being careful not to enflame things. It made me pretty sad to listen to. Sad that she's that insecure, sad that she's not in touch with that, sad that they had to go through this. Silver lining is they aren't together anymore?

    This was a nice post Castielle. You said some things very supportive of men and it's appreciated. Thank you.
  5. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    The biggest moment in the audio that really condemns her is this (I can't recall a time stamp, sorry):

    They start talking about a previous fight they had and he mentions that she was punching him, and she interrupted him, saying,

    "I did NOT punch you. Okay, I'm sorry I didn't extend my hand fully into a proper slap, but it was NOT a punch."

    She goes on to mock him over and over, telling him to grow yo and saying "oh, come on, you're fine." It's really disgusting. It's crazy that she can flat out admit to physically assaulting him, and then just casually dismiss it like that. And then to be so bold as to present this video as if it's since kind of evidence against him? Absolutely crazy, and shows how messed up the world is that she isn't already arrested. She admitted to domestic abuse in this recording. If she were a man, she would probably already be behind bars.

    Of course. I support men all the time. I support anyone who is being wronged unjustly.
  6. Krillin1993

    Krillin1993 Fapstronaut

    Dont get me wrong but at some point I can understand the people who support MGTOW.
    I have listened abit to this recording and I think this is enough to talk about. Wether she is right or wrong, the voice she is raising drives me crazy and JD stayed calm (wether he is right or wrong) Why did she act like that arguing is something what brings solutions to their relationship? You always can talk with a normal voice. And if you are not happy with this relationship then simply leave it or sue him (if she is right and this is real)...Nobody needs a relationship to be happy. It is always us who feels lonely and feeling atracted to others,..... but happiness is within you....unless you need him/her more than you think. I experienced alot of bad things with woman, so I am aware that people can be impulsive and unfair. I also experienced alot of woman who really need meditation or psychological help to get through life. But lets say the men is the one who is abusive then he had to learn with pmo-addiction or to learn that an agresive mood like beating woman (even if woman are unfair) it could be never a way of justice, it isn't even a fine way to get to a solution. You can't solve violence with violence or unfairness with more unfairness. You can't solve hate with more hate. It is just useless. I dont know which side is right or wrong but if somebody is that unfair to you, you would leave immediately.
  7. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Geez, I'm going crazy reading comments on Twitter. So many women still support Amber. It's really just insanity to me. Some people are just so blind and can't possibly bear to admit that a woman can abuse a man, and a man can be a victim. It's sickening. This is exactly why male victims of domestic violence never get the help and support they need. It's completely unjust.

    Hey feminists, if you want to fight for actual equality, why don't you start here? Start with shutting down all your fellow lady friends who dismiss and invalidate male victims. This is far from equality.
  8. BlindSisyphus

    BlindSisyphus Fapstronaut

    Women iirc are actually more likely to hit their partner. It's just not usually thought of that way because men can easily hurt a woman while a woman can't easily hurt a man. Unfortunately due to this and the fact that we think women are always right 100% of the time this means a woman can constantly beat a man and then cry crocodile tears and get away with it.
    brilliantidiot and Castielle like this.
  9. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

    All the crazy stuff I have been seeing lately has helped me come to the realization that getting married is akin to playing Russian roulette!
  10. fg4795

    fg4795 Fapstronaut

    Because feminist have become an extremist group, and since it has been mentioned in the post, same goes for MGTOW.
    Groups that don't want justice or equity, they just want something/someone to blame.
    For them you have two options:
    You can agree with them or you can be wrong.
    I mean here in Italy , a "Journalist" got on top trend because she wrote an article in which she explained, without any doubt, why being born male it can be considered itself an act of machismo.
    And on FB her page was full of women who praised her because she had the gut to tell the truth.
    So you know you just have to understand who are you talking to and then decide if you should consider his/her opinion
    brilliantidiot likes this.
  11. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I don't agree with that at all. You need to get to know someone before you get married, and pay attention to red flags. I doubt this woman was a perfect peach for the several years they dated, and then all of a sudden became insane after marriage.

    But please, let's not devolve this conversation into something it's not about.
  12. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I know. That's why I said what I said. It was a tongue-in-cheek accusation, not a legitimate question.
    fg4795 likes this.
  13. gordie

    gordie Fapstronaut

    I was in an extremely abusive relationship awhile back and it was similar to all of this, though admittedly the physical abuse for me was laughable because women are smaller. The psychological abuse both leveled my mind and my life. It's hard to go into details because they're so nuanced, but it started when, about 2 weeks into the relationship, she found a photo of my ex in my wallet that I had honestly forgotten about. I apologized, told her it wasn't intentional and that I wasn't "hung up," and never again did we have an incident where any trace of this ex came into our lives again. However, for 2 years she brought the ex up, comparing herself, seething over what we had, comparing our relationship, etc. It was utter insanity, and had she not brought this woman up on a daily basis I would not have thought about or spoken about her.
    She would come to my work and start weeping on the bar stool in front of all the customers, throw beer bottles at my head in her apartment (which was shared with one of her friends). I'd meet her friends and they'd immediately start talking shit about me. It's hard to understand in the slightest how I ended up in a relationship like that, abuse is so wack because it drains all of your hope, energy, and self-esteem so it feels like you cannot leave. When I finally woke up to the situation 2 years later and broke up with her, my job had fallen apart, I had dropped out of school, I was living with my parents and I had no foreseeable future. I'm not gonna take a male abuse vs female abuse on this because abuse is just wack, and anyone that thinks they might be being abused in anyway I would highly suggest that you get help as quickly as possible.
  14. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I'm so sorry that happened to you :(

    Agreed. Abuse is wrong, period, no matter who the perpetrator or the victim is. The only reason gender is relevant in this case is because men are so often not believed or supported when it comes to domestic violence. And that's a big problem.
    fg4795 likes this.
  15. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

    Weren’t they abusing each other? According to videos from TMZ, etc. So they were both wrong and right about the events. I don’t like Johnny Depp, and I don’t know enough about Amber, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s true.

    But with that aside, that’s domestic abuse in general. It’s easy to automatically think of the bloke being the violent one, but in all reality it’s more nuanced than that.
    fg4795 likes this.
  16. LEPAGE

    LEPAGE Fapstronaut

    He should have stuck it out with the mother of his children. Better for everyone involved. For him and the kids at least.

    I also heard he is broke now, despite all the hundreds of millions he made on those pirate movies. Not sure if that's the result of Hurricane Amber or just plain old Nick Cage style reckless spending.
    Lilla_My likes this.
  17. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I haven't seen the videos you're referring to. From this audio recording, I find it hard to believe he was abusing her at all. He remains totally calm the entire time she's screaming at him, swearing at him, and insulting him. And her main issue with him is that he's always leaving during arguments, which he explains is necessary because when she starts to get physical, he doesn't want to return that, so he walks away.

    There are only two mentions, in this recording, of him being physical with her. One is that he pushed her when she was hitting him. Sounds like self defense to me. Another is that when she was throwing a bunch of cans at him, he threw one back. Probably would have been better not to return the favor, but I don't think that counts as both of them abusing each other.

    I just really find it hard to believe that in the middle of a heated arguement, when she's already blaming him for everything and bringing up everything he's ever done wrong, she wouldn't mention more instances of hims abusing her. I've been in heated arguments like this, and it seems really weird to me that he could mention a time when she was hitting him and she wouldn't say "oh yeah? What about all the times when you hit me, and did this and this and this." I just personally feel like if there was more to tell, she would have said it.
  18. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Also, all of his ex's, and Amber's own parents, say that he is not abusive. So that's pretty telling to me.
  19. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I don't know if there are other videos, but this is the only one I can find at the moment, and it's not abuse in the slightest. People have said that this was after his mother died and he lost a ton of money. He wasn't angry at Amber or fighting with her. And then she video tapes this vulnerable moment? What kind of person does that?

    I'm not saying anger and throwing things is appropriate, but my husband has had some moments in the past where he was angry like this about something serious, and I can't imagine deciding to video tape him. And now that he know she has falsely accused him of abuse, I think he was right to be mad when he realized she was taping. Because clearly she was going to use that to further her BS story.

    If you have any other videos that actually show him being abusive, I'd love to see it, but so far I've seen no evidence except some picture she took with a bruise and a split lip. Which would be incredibly easy to fake, unlike his pictures of his entire finger being practically sliced off.

  20. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    I didn't have the audio on when I watched that, but the audio is even worse now that we know the context of why he was throwing stuff around. It had nothing to do with her, and she came in and set up a camera and started saying stuff like "nothing even happened this morning. You were so nice and sweet, and I said was sorry." It had nothing to do with her. She's freaking crazy.

    And honestly, after everything I've heard her say and do from those recordings, I wouldn't call it domestic violence if Johnny snapped and ended up hitting her once or twice. It would be wrong, of course, but there is a huge difference between being an abusive person, and having someone actively poking and poking and poking and trying to provoke you into violence, and you finally snapping. But even so, there has been zero evidence of him ever hitting her anyway. At least not that I can find.
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2020 at 10:48 AM

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