Keep questioning my sexuality. Need help please !

Pornography perverts our psychology and personal sexuality. Like any other addiction, PMO requires more and more, sometimes in terms of frequency, but most often in terms of novelty or extremity. After many years of viewing standard guy/girl porn, I moved on to lesbian, and most recently into some fetish categories. All I can say is the addiction will draw you into stranger and stranger genres, more dangerous extremes.

Above all, you must understand that you're dealing with sin here. Sin isn't just bad behavior, it is a supernatural force that dwells in man and acts upon man to compel wrong actions, negative actions that firstly offend God. People are born with sinful inclinations toward all sorts of vices i.e. drunkenness, theft, homosexuality, fornication, etc. Although we may feel internally driven toward these sinful practices, their existence does not suggest that we are, or ever should become these things. Angry people needn't become murders, thieves needn't become kleptomaniacs, and men with wandering eyes needn't become adulterers. This isn't a question of moderation either, all of these things are dangerous, even when one attempts to do them in a controlled fashion.

I am aware of several testimonies of men who developed homosexual and aberrant sexual appetites after exploring darker genres of porn. You may be more susceptible than others, or have a predisposition toward trans/gay stuff, but that by no means categorically means that you are in that camp. Resist, resist, resist, do not lose hope. To be honest, I still crave strange stuff from time to time, but I know that's not the new me, that's the old man gasping for air as he is being smothered out of existence.

 

I have OCD, an obsession where I question if I am homosexual. You habituate to porn you normally would find gross or alien a doctor told me. This means you condition your lizard brain to get aroused to sexual stimuli, but this doesn't mean it works that way in real life. Even if you were aroused by a transsexual in real life doesn't mean you're romantically attracted to them. The medical community believes sexuality is a spectrum, in your case likely meaning you could have sexual attractions or fantasies about transsexuals but not be romantically attracted to them. Research HOCD (HOMOSEXUAL OCD). I am reassuring you, but SEEKING REASSURANCE is a temporary solution and will make your doubt and confusion worse! Find a qualified Ocd therapist who does "Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy." This therapy means you take baby steps towards facing the fears, which may not be true.An OCD brain wants certainty, but you cannot have absolute certainty about anything including your sexuality.

 

You clearly lack the understanding of how PMO addiction affects the brain. It cannot be compared to other typical life struggles like having a "test" or "spousal issues", as you put it. I’ll leave you to your research, because you are in dire need of conducting some...

 

I would like to say something to everyone, it seems a bit too crazy to say to a person that he probably suffers from OCD especially if you are not a doctor, the OCD is a serious matter and must be diagnosed by a doctor, my first advice isthis: do a hard reboot, go in hard mode if possible, and if you continue to worry consult a sexologist. The third thing I wanted to tell you is not to worry, you're not gay, it's just that your brain dependent on pornography must restabilize, even at a certain point I masturbated on the transwomen, I was a bit afraid of being gay, but on the other hand I could remain lucid because I realized that this is an effect of porn-addiction, now I no longer have this problem and I'm sure you can solve it too!

 

I never said he had OCD, I said he has HOCD. This is most commonly directly caused from over-masturbation. It also tends to differ from general OCD in that it does not necessarily indicate deeper-rooted issues beyond the effects of PMO addiction. Frankly I don’t like the fact that it’s associated with OCD because (at least the porn-induced variation of HOCD) is very unique in its cause compared to clinical OCD. I’m sure there are indeed people with “clinical” OCD that do have the disorder manifest itself into the form of obsession over their sexual orientation, but for 99% of those that are affected by HOCD, they are intense porn addicts and experience it as a direct result of their addiction. Do a google search for “HOCD from porn addiction” and you’ll discover just how many are affected by this...

 

This is a great description, I've never heard this before. I'm reminded of something that occured during my last successful 90+ day reboot. For a few nights in a row, as I was drifting off to sleep, my mind started fantasizing towards some of the fetishistic stuff I was trying to get distance from. The first couple times, I was able to just change my attention to other thoughts and was no big problem.

But then, the next night, I just got a friggin flood of familiar mental images and fantasy situations all at once. I kept going into fantasizing mode, then breaking myself out of it. This went on for like an hour or two, like my brain was throwing some kind of tantrum lol. Like it was just bringing up any fetish I've ever encountered to try and get a reaction out of me. And then just as fast as it came on, it vanished. I think it was my dopamine-starved brain's attempt to open the door back to PMO, given that I hadn't fed it any new P to work with.

 

Fantasizing, especially if its memories of PMO based images and stimuli is essentially doing the same thing as PMO - you're getting a dopamine hit -it took me a long time to figure out that's why I was still getting urges for PMO based stuff that was totally out of tune with my 'on the street' attraction.