Kegel/Clenching And Erections Question

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Mindfawked, May 23, 2018.

  1. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

    67
    31
    18
    Okay so I may end up asking what may seem like a stupid question here, but I'm focusing more on the mechanics of erections and whatnot lately because I feel I focus on sex too much in general -- especially during the act because I'm nervous due to PIED and whatnot, which is bad.

    Anyway I was wondering if anyone is aware of themselves clenching/basically doing a kegel while becoming erect. I imagine one probably does before they're about to ejaculate as they try to hold back but is the clench normal while you're trying to get or hold an erection for the duration of intercourse?

    Is it even normal to realize when you're clenching, or is the clench a subconscious thing?

    I think I consciously clench during the arousal process which I feel tends to almost short-circuit things in a way. Anyone else had this problem?
     
  2. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,992
    1,469
    143
    Just focus on the moment not your dick. Focus on the girl.
     
    Tonytone and seaguy44 like this.
  3. I agree with Marino. Focus on getting your girl to have orgasms. That should arouse you normally. When you are aroused normally, intercourse is much better!!!

    The key is natural arousal!!!!!!
     
  4. Hey Mindfawked, I've had the same issue myself.
    I couldn't get fully erect with a girl, but could see that my penis wanted to, so by kegeling and clenching I could maintain an 85%-95% erection, never 100%, and as soon as there was no contact, it fell to like -50%.
    Also that only worked effectively if in the missionary position. No chance of keeping it up in cowgirl or similar positions.
    If you have a look at the PIED video on Your Brain On Porn, it's explained that the constant flow of neurotransmitters from your spinal nervous system to your penis during arousal is what triggers a constant flow of blood.
    I think that we've developed somewhat of a way around our dysfunction through technique so that we can at least get some.
    But it's not normal and definitely not natural and that habit (clenching to keep it hard-ish) might cause even a bigger disconnect from the natural process.
    Thing is, your dick is supposed to stay hard when your with a girl without clenching/kegeling.
    From what I've read in these forums, going hardmode for at least 30 days will improve the situation, even if you have an SO.
    I'm currently at day 18, no GF, and no improvement, but keep in mind I'm a hardcore pot smoker so the process is slower.
     
    capodonca and Uruvug like this.
  5. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,992
    1,469
    143
  6. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

    67
    31
    18
    Thanks for your responses guys. Sorry I hadn't responded in awhile -- I had friends in town last weekend. I also managed to fuck up my streak, funnily enough. I'm now on day two again.
     
  7. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

    67
    31
    18
    Ay GimmeSomeGal thank you a ton for your response. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this. With regards to weed; the last time I went hardmode oddly enough was kind of a random thing -- I got super blitzed off a strain of weed one night and admittedly PMO-ed, but the odd thing was, besides sleeping like an angel, the weed didn't kill my libido or at least I don't think, but I didn't have the urge to beat off and play with my pecker. And I lasted without so much as touching my junk unless it was to piss or shower for at LEAST 30 days; during this time I had regular, notably solid morning wood. But I fucked up my trend once I started leaking semen after taking a dump which occurred sometime around at least a month (and I rationalized to myself that if I didn't want to leak semen that I ought to clear my prostate; so bam, I looked at porn. :(). I did notice that I was able to get a chubby just by looking at some hot girls by the time I had reached that point though at least so perhaps my brain is further along in the healing process than what it was 8yrs ago when I was jerking off daily; sometimes multiple times a day.

    Do you by chance have any links of anyone reporting a similar issue as to what you and I have? I suppose what we've got isn't as bad as what some other people have, but damn. I'm hoping to see some encouraging results of someone having completely resolved this issue.
     
  8. So at the time you had solid MW, did you clench to maintain it?
    Have you been with girls in that period?
    I vaguely recall that NORMAL solid boners, like the ones you get after a 1 year reboot, are 100% and are so intense that there's no need to do our Clenchel.
    I try to stay in shape so I run on the beach every day and do bar workouts there and there's lots of super-fine, young, tight broads showing their goods, and yesterday there was this one blonde with this mesmerizing golden tan and a Godly fit physique.
    The picture really sunk in.
    When I went to bed, I couldn't get her outta my head and felt very aroused but had like a 50-60% boner for about 5 min while laying on my back, which is a first for this reboot and noticed I didn't automatically clenchel, something that would never happen before.
    I try to keep in mind that the Clenchel is a CONSCIENSCIOUS BACKUP MECHANISM I've developed to keep functioning while the AUTONOMIC DEFAULT MECHANISM is being repaired.
    I think the other guys here on target:
    hardmode 'till consistent MW and 100% erections ->
    -> find somebody to love, not to fuck ->
    -> have mindful, infrequent karezza
    Also, I've adopted "ejaculate to procreate" as a way of life, which helps.
     
    Uruvug likes this.
  9. Man I got carried away there.
    Yeah bro, it's not that bad at all, and it will be resolved as long as you stay the Course and have a clear vision to where you're aiming.
    I didn't see any mention of what we have elsewhere, but I'm sure there is, or at least that others have experienced it.
     
  10. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

    67
    31
    18
    Well when I first initially woke up, no, I didn't clench to maintain it. If you don't clench, it'll eventually go away on its own. Granted it'll go away on its own without stimulation anyway even if you DO clench. Anyway I think there might've been a few days delay between the appearance of my first solid MW; don't think it was immediately the day after although it could've been.

    And no I didn't have a girlfriend or even a fuckbuddy or anything like that at the time unfortunately. Believe me if I did, I would've had her over instead of my hand to relieve my prostate. I'm considering going to a massage parlor after 30 days if I feel like my balls are gonna explode but I haven't had 100% MW in quite some time I don't think. I think after my weed incident there I described; that was probably 100% or really damn close. Best I'd had since I was either late teens or very early 20s; it was extremely noticeable.

    With regards to "ejaculate to procreate" way of life -- not a bad idea there. I'd be with ya too but the hedonistic degeneracy that's all around me and that I by and large missed out on when I was young due to helicopter parents and me being a pussy; I want to have the ability to engage in that. Unfortunately I'm not sure I'll ever be able to without any chemical help. I'd much prefer a caring relationship but my experience with women has taught me that finding one of those is like a fucking special forces black/ops mission.

    Then again who knows maybe the past few I've been with (damn I've only been with THREE in the past YEAR) I was a lousy fuck due to the degree of PIED I've had. It's tough to tell. Anywho I'm red pilled and all that as well, and I suppose I may be in a prolonged anger phase of it although I've found myself more listless than angry by and large the past couple years. Last girlfriend I had was cool but she wanted to rush things HARDCORE which freaked me out (plus I'm a stubborn motherfucker and no, I won't say "I love you" when it's been like two fucking months into the relationship!). That all said, I have been wondering lately if maybe I shit the bed with her (figuratively speaking) because she worked with me through the anxiety/PIED; and after failing to get mini-me to rise to the occasion either once or twice in a row without pills, I never needed pills and never failed with her afterward for the entirety of our relationship. I'd say my junk was probably 95+% hard at least damn-near every time. I'm not sure it's realistic though now at almost 31yrs old for my pecker to be 100% like when I was 16yrs old again, but perhaps I'm wrong. The longest reboot I had was either 137 or 157 days; something like that. Then I finally broke and relapsed (although not to porn at least). I think that reboot period was still good for me though because as I've said in my journal and intro post, I feel no urge to jack off daily and it's a pretty rare occurrence when I look at porn anymore either.

    Back to the ex: Unfortunately, she had some red flags pop up such as debt, diet, and daddy issues so I was concerned about her long-term bangability (I'd rather be single my whole life than get married for two years then have my girl stop taking care of herself and blimp-up). And due to my lack of experience with relationships (I'm a very blunt individual; and that is NOT GOOD when dealing with women) I wouldn't think before I speak with her in some cases. I had no idea how to subliminally encourage her to get into the gym to maintain her figure. Oh well, live and learn I guess. I'm not dead yet, and I'm still young relatively speaking so hopefully I can finally get my shit together and find a woman I can bang (ideally with a condom despite me hating those) and procreate with. (Other problem I had w/the ex, is I didn't want a family at the time. My opinion on that has since changed.)

    Anywho... sorry for the verbal diarrhea. lol
     
  11. By "doing kegel" I assume you mean flexing perineum muscles (because there are two ways how to do kegels depending from your goals - you can kegels either PC muscle or BC muscle - I made a threat about it here)? If so then yea, I used to do that to get erection faster. It was partly conscious and partly instinctive.
    This is an actual legit technique. Strengthen BC muscle kegels and use them for your advantage - if you have problems getting hard, maintaining erection or hard time orgasming.
    I imagine people do that. But this is actually counterproductive. Flexing perineum muscle (BC muscle kegel) will actually make one orgasm faster. Unless they are doing PC muscle kegel and not perenium muscle, in which case it does work to hold it back off.
    Pretty muscle the same as berating. It can be both. And you can train yourself to manipulate it for your advantage.
    Yea. I clenched it (perineum area - BC muscle) so much that I developed premature ejaculation. I had to retrain that habit and train other type of kegel (PC muscle) to fix that.
     
    seaguy44 likes this.
  12. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

    67
    31
    18
    @The Serpent of Fire -- Thank you very much for your response. I've followed-up with you in the thread you linked about this.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. Ok, I'm skipping quite a bit of content in posting this, but yes. Your focus should be on your partner and that should be enough to maintain an erection. Focusing on other things may actually be a mental distraction inhibiting that, or put you in a position where you consider it not a sensual encounter but a contest and then it's game over.

    Be that as it may, I've heard anecdotally that kegels done outside of sex, just as a normal practice or part of your meditation practice, are quite helpful. I'm thinking of incorporating them into my meditation practice.
     
  14. Mindfawked

    Mindfawked Fapstronaut

    67
    31
    18
    I don't tend to think of it as a contest so much (admittedly there is a bit of that e.g., how long can I last??) but I tend to actually THINK about getting erect and I feel that fucks me up both literally and figuratively.. heh.
     

Share This Page