KILL PORN, KILL MASTURBATION. REBIRTH OF MY SOUL

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ANewLeaf, May 8, 2018.

  1. Roi Bassa

    Roi Bassa Fapstronaut

    11
    5
    3
    Congrats, life feels so living when we drop addiction
     
    Nomar and ANewLeaf like this.
  2. Ky123

    Ky123 Fapstronaut

    5
    12
    3
    You're doing the right thing bro. I'm almost forty and I can tell you that it doesn't get better. It will increasingly mess up the way you view women and your relationships will be a mess until you are able to get a handle on this. I'm just speaking from experience. I think holding off on the girlfriend thing for a while wouldn't be a bad idea. I just lost a two year relationship with my girl a couple weeks ago. I actually fapped more in a relationship strangely. Having sex often, for me at least, put my head into a sexual state more often and when I wasn't with my girlfriend I would take care of myself. Plus, our sex was heavily impaired by my issues. I had problems getting off to her because I was so used to taking care of myself which caused her to think I wasn't attracted to her. It goes on and on. Be strong and if you believe in God then know He wants this for you as well and He will also help you overcome this. You will be a different man and you will attract a good woman who values you because you're a different man.
     
    ANewLeaf and Immature like this.
  3. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Wow. Thank you soo much. I really appreciate. You're in my prayers. I'm confident that an honest, sincere and caring man like you will break free. Thanks a lot
     
  4. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Yeah. It's like getting back a childhood you never had. It's difficult sometimes to explain. Thanks for you kind words. I believe you'll grow stronger.
     
  5. Nomar

    Nomar Fapstronaut

    624
    4,079
    123
    Keep killing it man you’re doing great!
     
    ANewLeaf likes this.
  6. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Deep into Day 13. Still feels like i'm in a dream, not just because i'm 13 days PMO free, but at the fire and determination and strong willingness in my soul. They've been countless occasions where i would give in and situations i previously looked forward to in other to PMO.
    I read in a couple of journals that Days 12-15 will come with as potential strong relapse points. I'm still waiting.

    Slow day today at work. Zero thoughts of PMO.
     
    Immature likes this.
  7. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Day 16. I really don't know how i'm feeling now.
    Not really happy or sad. Depressed?? I don't know. Not really.

    But i know i've got lots of energy. 'Words with friends' has been helping me. I play the game every time, keeps my mind off PMO while online. Helps the night run fast and i go to bed immediately i get any urge.
    I spent the whole of yesterday with a girl. Lol. I had an E all through her stay, it was very obvious. You could see it from 10 miles away.
    I manged to restrain myself (or rather the girl refused lol). But i'll take credits for that.
    I'm very satisfied with my streak and i intend to keep it that way.
    Thanks all for you messages. I wish you all good luck on your journeys.
    Thanks for reading.
     
    Immature likes this.
  8. Nasagy

    Nasagy Fapstronaut

    65
    73
    18
    Wish you all the best, Work hard and stay disciplined.
     
    ANewLeaf likes this.
  9. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Thanks Nasagy. 4 months?? Wow this is great. Is this your longest streak??
     
  10. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Few hours into day 17 and the urges are quite strong. Few hours ago i saw a lady breast feeding her baby. The thought hasn't left my head, so i came to journal. I'm out of ideas on how to erase this thought. Maybe i should try loud annoying music.
    I think i'll begin googling random facts about the earth and our amazing universe. I'm a Die-Hard Liverpool fan and thoughts of the champions league final has been on my mind these past few days.
    I think i'll start writing about Liverpool vs Real Madrid

    ENJOY!!!
     
  11. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    So the first interesting fact is that Liverpool manager jurgen klopp has lost the last 6 finals including the UEFA EUROPA LEAGUE to Sevilla on 2016. That loss to Sevilla gave the Spaniards their 3rd successive Europa Cup. And yet again the Spaniards(Real Madrid) are on the run for their 3rd successive Champions league Trophy. Is Kloop about to help another Spanish team hit their 3rd successive win in the competition??
     
  12. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    My mind is off PMO once again. I'm relieved.
    Back to Liverpool.
    Let's talk about their front trio Salah, Mane, Firmino. Highest scoring trio ever in champions league in a season.
    This is also the only time a team who has won barca (roma who we defeated) has not featured in the final.
     
  13. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    I can still feel the urges creeping back into me slightly. Before it manifests itself i best turn off all internet devices and head to sleep. I pray and hope i wake to continue my streak and not to reset my Tracker.
    Thank yo all for your comments and prayers. I hope you'll be successful and defeat PMO.
    Update in a few hours.
     
    Immature likes this.
  14. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    keep fighting! I was on a good streak, lost it, have been struggling ever since.
     
    ANewLeaf likes this.
  15. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Thanks buddy. You're a great friend. I won't lose this. Looking to break the 21day resistance.
     
    Immature likes this.
  16. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Day21. Honestly i'm scared. Can't think of anything else than PMO, even with people around me.
    Everything automatically turns a trigger, female voice, cologne, toes, 2 girls laughing....etc
    I'm weak.

    Please help. I can't lose now.
     
    Immature likes this.
  17. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    Some people find that an occasional MO with no porn or porn fantasy can help them avoid a full PMO relapse.

    It's tricky, because of chaser effect.
     
    ANewLeaf likes this.
  18. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Thanks a lot buddy.
     
  19. ANewLeaf

    ANewLeaf Fapstronaut

    50
    54
    18
    Day 23. F'in Hard. Almost relapsing. Went as far as doing M for about 10secs before getting to my senses, immediately i ran for ten minutes and walked for about 20 more. Came back to a cold shower and everything seemed to cool down.
    Few hours later(now), the urge was too strong, i typed a word 'cleavage' and looked at the images for about 10secs too. My heart raced sooo much. i could clearly hear my heart beat as the page was loading and for the few seconds i stared.
    I don't know if this counts for a relapse.

    I think i'm going to relapse and feel terrible about it. The urge is strong, the desire is intense. I feel like crying because i really don't want to go back to it. 23 days is a lot of time, I'm happy with the new, energetic, focused, strong, concentrated, me.
    I'm just confused. Honestly, i don't think i hate it now as much as i did earlier. Lots of things i did earlier aint working anymore.
     
  20. boz

    boz Fapstronaut

    81
    91
    18
    Been reading ur journey so far. You've been doing great, feel proud.
    Porn addiction is a bastard. I turned 50 this year, yep I'm old! So for me it's 30+ years of PMO. It's taken me to dark places and untold pain, can't begin to detail here and obviously not on your thread :emoji_confused:
    After countless relapses for me, it may be too late to fix. But take it from me, very much a voice of experience, DO your very best to stop. You will fall, always get back up.
    Btw, also a Liverpool fan. Champs league final sucked didn't it:emoji_confounded:
     
    ANewLeaf likes this.

Share This Page