Kill your HOCD, my dudes. Long post.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by pafon55, May 16, 2019.

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  1. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    I'm not into any of the Gay stuff, I'm straight, and I only been PMO for 9 months, and did twice a week. But- I read a post of a guy that said he was afraid of being gay, so even when he meditated, he said he tried not to tell himself he was gay. But, he realized, the harder you try not to do something, the more you become that. :I
     
  2. pafon55

    pafon55 Fapstronaut

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    He was doing meditation wrongly then. The idea of meditations is not to control your thoughts it is quite literally the opposite. Meditation teaches you to ignore your thoughts and just let them dwell in your mind and soon they leave on their own. Thoughts are immaterial and we actually have a good amount of control over them should we chose to learn how. If you're meditating and telling yourself constantly that you're not gay you're not really meditating. I used to fall in that trap myself. Until with practice i started being decent at meditating and then if a thought of "you could be gay/bi" would pop in my head I'd just let it be there and soon enough it would leave on its own.
     
  3. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Hm.... What if its a picture in your head? How do you remove that?

    Seems interesting, because I have bad social anxiety, to where I manually breathe around people, and I cannot control my breathe to normal, and I'm breathing very hard. It's really hard to cope with, because I can't focus on anything but my breathing, even if I try. :(
     
  4. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    thanks
    This is is a perfect example of how the mind can create this fantasy world that is completely out of touch with reality and no way to satiate it - of course modern 'sex experts' will tell us its natural to embrace fantasies they are a part of us, etc. But I believe we'e better than that. I believe we can learn to figure out what's behind those urges and fantasies - why are they there - is something missing from our lives or lacking?
    Is it symbolic of something?
    Once we know that we can cultivate healing in the real world simply indulging these things will only make them worse.
     
  5. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    Honestly I found even the reasons of those dreams but it was quite difficult.
     
  6. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    yes but what you decide to do with that information is important.
    Does a guy who is into sissy/fem dom need to more of it, is it 'who he is' or is it a message to work on his self esteem and confidence?
    Is an alcoholic's desire to drink more a message to drink more - or address the issues that drive him to drink?
     
  7. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    I get your point, in fact the thing about sucking my ex gf is about the fact that I wanted to please her but she didn't want to do it, and we weren't able to do it since I was losing erection due to porn abuse and cause even her was in a depressed state and wasn't getting wet, so in my fantasies I found a way to please her, even cause she didn't want to get oral etc. And yeah even my porn addiction was cause by depression. And more than all now I even have ocd.
     
  8. pafon55

    pafon55 Fapstronaut

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    Meditation will not get anything out of your head. Meditation is the practice of you accepting anything and everything that comes into your head and acknowledging that those thoughts and mental pictures are yours, but that they don't mean a thing. A big problem everyone, not only porn addicts have is to think that Thoughts = Who you are. That is false. We all have weird thoughts every day that we just forget about, but some really cause us problem and get us in a obsessive cycle. Just put on some meditations and in a few weeks you'll start getting the hang of them and might even really enjoy them. They are a great way to allow your mind to rest not only from porn but everyday stress and issues. It also really helps with anxiety. I used to have crippling social anxiety. The moment i step out of my house I would feel out of it, I would feel as though someone was watching me. With some practices from meditation, I have learned how to relax my mind in such situations. It takes practice though and to be honest it has been some time since I last meditated, cause in general I feel pretty good with my progress in my sexual reboot. But in my very very low points meditations carried me - no doubt about it !
     
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  9. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Hm, how many times are you thinking about PMO throughout the day?

    I think about trying to quit all the time, I've basically wired myself to think about quitting PMO, and it has changed me in every way!


    Also, meditation can get my self esteem back up?
     
  10. pafon55

    pafon55 Fapstronaut

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    I haven't completely quit PMO i just keep it to maximum 2 times a week. I am under a lot of stress these days and I can't keep the NoFap going right now :D But don't look at meditations as a cure to anything. It cannot get your self-esteem up (at least mindfulness meditations) but it can really help your mind relax. We have very ancient brains that are meant to deal with modern problems and we just don't know how to rest our minds. Well meditation will do exactly that :)
     
  11. Raikton

    Raikton Fapstronaut

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    Honestly atm since i'm like in peak of HOCD,my libido is like 0,and even my sexual desire,so doing nofap is like automatic.
     

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