I saw this movie called Garden of Words, and that's the first time I heard a term for my problem, which is shared by many others all over the world. Lonely sadness, Koi, is the inability to connect meaningfully to others during a particular course of your life when you are lonely. I've never had a problem being girlfriendless because I had a friend. I could always curb that need for intimacy because I had good friends, not many, but good friends. Now, they have moved away or are less accessible than before. I also lost access to my FB account, so that does not help at all. The need for that intimacy has reached an all time high, coincidentally not coincidentally with my frequency in SPMO. I learned a while back I wanted intimacy, not the act of doing the deed with a girl. It's what I always wanted. What I think right now is, that although I want this, this critical juncture is about creating a new level of intimacy with myself or someone else or both. I'm pretty clueless about this. I just wanted to share something on this lonely night. Sometimes, I wish I could go to a video chatroom and talk to girls with good hearts to fight some of cynicism and justified pessimism. I'm interested in hearing anybody's thoughts. P.S. I love Toonami by the way.